No regrets? Or too many to mention ?

Jaycee5 your neighbour obviously needs more than you can give her. Don't feel bad about what happened. You're vulnerable too, especially at that time of the day. Calling the emergency services was the best thing to do. It sounds like she'll always have troubles to cope with. Maybe ask the police to call social services to see if they can provide more help for her, which will give you peace of mind in return.

Having regrets shows you are a good person, I salute you all. I regret that I didn't give my mother enough attention in her old age. This has led me not to expect too much from my children, so I don't make demands on them. If there is survival of the individual after death I intend to tell my mother ( in fact I do still talk to her after her death) that I apologise for my selfish behaviour.

I have a fairly recent one. I have a new neighbour who has very severe mental health problems. She has started coming to me when she has a bit of a crisis which I find a bit difficult but I do feel very sorry for her because when she is stable she is very nice but a bit naïve and vulnerable. She can also be annoying, things like ringing my entry phone in the early hours of the morning.
Two nights ago she did that at 3.30 a.m. She was ringing it continually and hammering on the door, screaming and wailing (which she does quite often). I had taken an antihistamine which I take to help me sleep and had only fallen asleep about an hour before so my mind was very sluggish. She did then get in (I think she often does have her key when she does it). She came to my door and was leaning on my doorbell and hammering on the door while still wailing loudly. I have seen her be aggressive with other people and she did once have her boyfriend in a headlock in the parking lot at the front of the flats and she seemed so out of control that I didn't want to open the door. She went downstairs but then came up and started it again. I called an ambulance and got up. A few minutes later a police car turned up, then 2 more (a neighbour nearby had called them). The ambulance never did come which I think was unfortunate. The police waited outside for 2 hours until she stopped making the noises and then came in and talked to her.
They came back the next day and I overheard them ask her if she wanted to report her boyfriend for GBH and it was obvious that he had beaten her up.
I feel guilty that I didn't let her in as she obviously just needed someone in that moment and I don't really believe that she would be violent towards me. I thought she was having an episode which do make her very frightened (she came to me once asking what had happened and she thought she was possessed by her late sister (who may or may not be real). She was also scared by the lights in the sky and would not believe that they were aeroplanes.
I veer between not wanting to be her go to person and wanting to be the person who would want that.
Her next door neighbours have gone away because they can't cope with it (they are in their late 80s) and the woman next door to me is in her mid 80s an also can't cope. They want me to complain to the Council.
I haven't slept for the last 2 nights and I am worried that my insomnia is back as I have CFS and without sleep I end up not doing anything.
Sorry this is a bit long and rambling.

Years go I was visiting my mum in her 70s who lived in another part of the country when she said quietly that she didn't think she'd be here much longer. I joked about it, where was she planning to go ha ha. I think I knew what she meant, but I didn't know what to say and so I laughed it off. A few months later she died before I'd seen her again. If only I had given her the chance to talk, ask her things

I think the problem with regrets is that "hindsight is a wonderful thing!" At the time we behaved in a certain way or did things we look back on and regret, we acted as we saw things at the time - in that situation. We look back with much more life experience and realise what we could have done differently - maybe with a better outcome. As several people have said the past is the past so there is nothing we can change - just learn by our experiences I guess.

We all have regrets and reading through these helps me to know that I'm certainly not alone in that. Some of mine are downright embarrassing so I'll leave them in that dark corner of my mind where they are stored.
Annie

I was being true to myself, I was cross, there must be so many who do similar , but for me there was no chance to make up, this is why I have said, if it helps one not to do as I did then I am glad I opened up . If you are angry just calm down enough to say take care , or whatever you choose.

all who have said they are troubled, talk to someone please.

So thoughtful and generous of you Annie to share your story, it can't have been an easy post for you to write. Thank you. Your love for your husband shines through and this is what really matters.

Yes It is so hard to cope with regrets, yet there are times when we have to be true to ourselves, I was brought up to ' never let the sun go down on your wrath' consequently I spent a big part of my adult life putting up with or taking the blame , just in case something 'happened ' to a loved one , it still worries & panicks me if I think I have parted from a loved one in less than an positive way.

There are some big decisions I made in the past, where I wish I hadn't made the decision I did, but like NanaandGrampy I accept that what is past is gone and cannot be changed and the best thing is to make the most of life you have and not waste time on regrets.

Making my mum cry and not going to her to appologise or comfort her. Makes me feel like crying right now.

Oh Annie, {{{hugs}}} and peace.

for all living with painful regrets. Please be kind to yourselves.

If it saves one from having to live with such a regret then I am glad I opened up.

(((hugs))) Annie, and thank you for sharing your advice. It's certainly made me think, and I will try to remember.

Something made me run back and give my mum an extra goodbye hug on the doorstep on what proved to be my last visit. I'm so glad I did.

Annie so sad . I have one very big regret that goes back 26 years and every so often I have a sleepless night over it. I cannot change things and I try to be the best person I can be now.

Annie - probably he didn't even notice you ignored his kiss - that's what men are like. Forgive yourself.
I often regret marrying my ex, my parents warned me against it, but then I would never have had my 3 lovely grownup children, plus grandchildren.

Oh Annie my blood ran cold with both your posts.
Better to have love and lost than never to have loved.

I will try to remember your advice.

Oh Annie that is so sad and I know you've mentioned this before. Music is so emotive isn't it? There are a couple of songs that were played at a funeral on New Years Eve 2008 that reduce me to tears. And yet, those same songs can bring a sense of peace afterwards.

(((hugs)))

mumofmadboys. I have no doubts he knew I adored him, I just want to help anyone not to make the mistake, I always said - take care- when he left for work, just that one time I didn't . I don't dwell on it but sometimes it comes to mind, so I play the last record he bought me 'She'. Love the line , can turn each day into a heaven or a hell .

Annie
I am sure he knew that you loved him

I am sure we all have regrets but do not live with regret for things you cannot undo.

My cousin said 'never go to sleep on an argument' and I suppose the same is true when someone goes out or you yourself go out.

I'm sure Annie your DH knew you loved him. He would also have regretted the fall- out. Think of the happy memories and forgive yourself.x

Annie, such a sad story and regret to live with .

That's so sad Paddyann , because from the sound of it , it's become a barrier to your happiness . Is there nothing you can do to give you peace?

Maybe writing a letter you burn outlining your regret ? Or talking to a confidante? Someone who can share the burden?

NanaandGrampy the only person changing the outcome would affect is me,its my peace of mind that it affects sometimes daily sometimes when special days come around.Its something I've always kept under wraps around family and friends but it still makes me sad and regretful that it happened the way it did .Sometimes it creeps up even when I'm not thinking about it at all .