What is the best way to start new Social Activities

Flossie, have you heard of the British Red Hat Society? Ladies over 50 meet up and do all sorts of fun things. There is no volunteering, fundraising etc - it was originally set up in the States 19 years ago, and is all about having fun and growing older disgracefully! There are now groups all over the UK. Do google it and see if it would suit you. I have made lots of friends by joining. We go for meals, days out, theatre, cinema, bowling, racing days, dog racing - anything we fancy. We also meet up once a month for coffee or drinks locally. All the groups arrange their own fun things and some are more active than others. You join in as much or as little as you want to. Our group is a real mix of ages, and some are married, single, divorced, widowed etc. You don't say where in the country you are based, but I could help find your nearest group if you want to contact me.

Definitely join U3A. Also I joined an art class and have made friends through that. Think what your interests might be. The local library will know about book groups

Is there a hobby or activity you've always had an interest in but haven't had the time to try? If so, there may well be a club in your area concerning this which you could join.
If not, I'd suggest going to the 'hobbies' section of your local library and have a look at all the subjects to be found there - something may start your interest.
When I was a good deal younger I found a book about patchwork quilting and this opened up a new world for me and enabled me to find new friends with the same interest. As a shy person this was a great opening for me. Good luck.

oh by the way I live in a village, at one time you knew everyone there so it wouldn't have
been a problem the village has grown to 3 times its size since I moved here 32 years ago now you know no-one unless you have children at school, gradually I am getting to know more & more people of my age, some younger, some older

I can relate to how you feel in terms of the ungratefulness of people.Women are so often forced into the position of unpaid,under valued carers.It takes time to regain a sense of self and discover what your interests are once freed from so many demands.What were your loves and interests earlier in life? Maybe you could rekindle them.Anyway,don't push yourself into anything,just enjoy the delicious fact that you can please yourself at last ! ?

Look in your Library, local paper etc, when my hubby died I was the same, because he didn't like to socialize & didn't like me to I was also without friends, I joined a knit & Natter group which is very friendly, you don't have to knit or crochet just natter if you want. I also joined the local WI which has led to other groups, such as Craft night & film club, they also have other splinter groups, book club games evening (darts, dominoes etc)we have trips to various places including a Christmas Market, now I am wondering where my time is going lol

Join a local bowling club. Most will be having an open day now the season is due to restart.Check out local papers or notice boards near you for notices. You don't need a partner and usually find there are a lot of single people so its easy to pal up with someone for other outings or events. It keeps you fit, its fun and great way to meet other people.

Flossie !

Floossie you've created quite a bit of interest with your request with lots of people pitching-in with advice & suggestions - so your 'push' could be that you need to report back on something you've had a go at!

Another vote for U3A from me. U3A website here When I moved I joined our local one. There are all sorts of interesting groups and we meet up and have a good laugh and chat. Every month there is a talk and coffee afterwards. Coach trips to stately homes, history of art, whist, dancing, languages, theatre trips and walks are just some of the options you can try. Ours also has breakfast meetings, lunch clubs, baking sessions, pub lunches. Ring your local organiser and arrange to meet him/her before you go to a meeting - then you will know someone. In my experience they are a very friendly bunch.

Do you like to travel? Saga has some really interesting guided tours in the UK and abroad. They pick you up from your doorstep so you won't have to worry about driving anywhere. SAGA website here They also do quite a few cruises and they are not expensive either. I fancy cruising down the Nile and walking in Italy.

I know you don't want the commitment of volunteering but have you thought of volunteering with your local school to sit with children reading?

What about a pen friend? Look in your local paper/parish magazine for details of other groups. Do you have a local Adult Education Centre? What about doing a course there or a Summer School.

I get the idea that you feel like you've been let out of prison.

Some years ago a friend of mine had a bad patch and had breast cancer, followed by her husband leaving her for another woman. She was at rock bottom. I suggested she should try going to her local church - churches are always welcoming and there are lots of things going on. You will always meet nice people. She didn't have any particular religious leanings, but she took my advice and did go and made lots of new friends and is busy all the time. She says it was the best advice I ever gave her!

I devoted nearly all of my energy to my job and my family.On taking my retirement I felt absolutely lost .i realised that most of my friendships revolved around work .I felt like you about joining groups etc but researched U3A groups and joined my local one.It truly was the best thing I could have done.There are so many different classes / groups which are all free to attend after paying a yearly subscription which is around £40.You can learn new skills ,meet new people and you would be made very welcome.I have spoken to one lady who said that U3A actually saved her life !Please give it a try you will not regret it.

Yes, please don't be put off by the name "University of the Third Age". It isn't a university at all, and not the least academic, more like a social club, and some of the meetings take place in people's homes. The teachers and lecturers are unpaid volunteers. My OH is currently studying German and French with them, and in the past I've done Creative Writing and Music Appreciation. In our area they sometimes put on coach trips to places of interest.

Oh, radicalnan you sound like my sort of person! I think you just have to get out there and try things even if it does seem a bit daunting. It is possible to make new friends later in life. I would agree with the suggestions about U3A and volunteering.

My first thought was to suggest you join the WI but you say there is not one near you. This is a great shame because so many activities lead on from that. If you have a library nearby there will be notices of various groups there. I am also on my own and found joining a choir was really good because you don't need a partner to go with. I wish you well. You must start to enjoy YOUR life.

Hello, Sorry I've only read your post so someone else might have come up with my suggestion already.

U3A (university of the 3rd age) is a good way to meet new people and they are a national organization.

I absolutely understand why you don't want to do anything related to caring - you've done your bit and more.

I have a daughter who became disabled following cancer treatment (uncontrolled seizures) and I looked after my mum when she had dementia.

You just need to meet some nice, friendly people who you can have fun with and live in a "care free" zone!

It can be done - trust me

My local libraries have keep fit,local history,reading clubs,craft groups and coffee mornings.If you find a group nearby that interests you,give it a whirl-you will meet like minded people and perhaps learn something new.
When I moved house,I found that I met a lot of people who wanted to stop and chat by simply going on walks in local fields,by the canal,etc.I have made good friends like this.Ask people about their dogs or comment on the weather-you will be surprised how friendly people can be when you show an interest.

Sorry forgot to add, I understand not wanting to take on Volunteering right now as that requires commitment - you've done enough of that!

In Manchester there's an orgnisation called "Social Circle" for people wanting to get together, maybe go for day trips, theatre outings. I know there are similar groups country-wide, some offering practical help (gardening, small DIY jobs etc). There is a subscription, but some activities are free. Our Adult Care Services department supports a Carers' Resource group who offer all sorts of help,support and advice to carers and I'm sure your council can advise you of what is available for you in your area, especially as the most unenlightened council knows that carers' own social life avoids more expensive care needs when the carer reaches the end of his/her tether or the gap when there's no more need for his side of the care and his life is suddenly empty.

It's admirable that you spent all those years looking after both the elderly and younger members of your family but it's a great pity that this has left you with no friends or activities. I hope you make the most of your new freedom!

Depending on your general interests and fitness, there are so many things you could try e.g. Bridge, Walking Groups, Bookclubs, Local History, etc. Just dip your toe in and try a few different things.

I do most of my activities with my best friend but I hope to try Tai Chi sometime but will go on my own as she prefers Pilates. I wouldn't worry about joining an established group you'll soon make friends and enjoy the activity.

A fellow Bridge learner is late-60s who came to London from the North about 5 years ago and although she has DC here started from scratch with socialising and activities, including Choir (not church) and Walking Group.

Volunteering isn't necessarily anything to do with caring though I can well understand you ve had enough of that I volunteer in a shop which is all about meeting people, chatting and just like being at work ...it could be working with kids hearing them read or doing craft work or getting involved with local community groups showing people to their seats at a local theatre or cinema, libraries often look for volunteers
I m hoping to try thevU3a but it's very daunting to think of walking into an established group

I was going to say look on the Meetups site for stuff in your area. In my area we have a fantastically busy meetup group, with things several times a week from board game meetups, to breakfasts, to pub evenings and even the occasional weekend away. I only found time to go to one but was pleased to see there was a good mix of ages but probably no one under 30 or over 80 in that particular event

Wonder if a little job might help. Lots of cafes etc need help and it's a great way of becoming part of a team , earning a little extra, getting some exercise and connecting with different age groups.

I too like my own company and am seldom bored, but sometimes I feel I should be 'Doing More'! ....

I'm certainly not good at making the first move, but it does help enormously if it is towards an interest - I joined a painting group, where I knew no-one at first, but have made several long term friends. and this led to my going on painting holidays in Tuscany and Greece... on my own.

I read a lot, so I joined a U3A group at the library - the critiques sometimes get heated, try not to take it personally!

I also belong to a very small on-line forum [30 women] and we have had several meets where oddly enough we have become real friends.

Bridge? Not for me, I tried but was hopeless! - shame, because it is a good social skill.

If you meet anyone you like through a social activity, have courage to ask them round for a chat and a cuppa - or a walk - or a meet up on a shopping expedition - say "I'm going into Town on ..... I'll be in John Lewis at 11am ..fancy a coffee?"

Just an addition in our area all the adult ed classes have all ceased, funding I guess because in the past I've done art courses pottery and even a painting and decorating course but there's none of them available any more just saying as it could be the case in the OP s area