What is the best way to start new Social Activities

Just one more thing occurs to me- I know you are hoping to find a bit of a social life and presumably maybe some friends, but I would advise against having that uppermost in your mind. Go for things you will enjoy and the likelihood is that you will find like minded people, the friendships will follow. There are groups, like Red Hats(and I am not knocking them) but if all you have in common is that you are lonely or at a loose end, it isn't that much. Yes you may meet lovely people you really get on with, but you may not and it can be hard to extricate yourself.
Just saying!!

Try your local U3A. Google U3A and follow the links to your local branch. I don't promise that it will suit you as all U3A's are different but it won't cost anything to find out and if you don't like it don't go back again.

My better half has found a good social life through going to church.

It's been a very good thread for me. MawBroon, I get a strong sense extrication has been an issue for you, certainly has been for me over the last decade or so. When my hubby and I moved to Exeter a few years ago, we were very 'hungry' for the stimulation a buzzy large university town could offer. But weekly WEA classes, good as they were, turned out not to be the avenue we were too keen to carry on with for various reasons.

Other very regular attenders found it hard to understand and it was all a bit awkward! However that was their problem, not ours.

But worth the difficulty because we're each much happier now.

I am the complete opposite of you I don't feel released after suffering my bereavements -I have lost two main people in my life and three fur babies(my cats)and I have no one in the world except very well meaning friends.
I feel weighed down with grief and while my life was full before I lost my wonderful mother a year ago Valentine's day it is now unbearable.
We would be out almost every night either in pub quizzes or drama group and shopping in different retail parks most days.
Now I don't have a life I just have distractions.
My work too was my passion including adult education - both teaching and learning.
Where do you live? Adult education, meet up groups, U3a, drama (you are never too old) pub quizzes (there must be a league near you).
I know what to do - I just wish I could,
There is so much out there and I have always subscribed to the idea that if what you want is not out there -- create it yourself!

Radicalnan - if you are serious about wanting a lover, may I recommend that you sign up with "IllicitEncounters"

This is the only dating site I know that is safe and has only real people - plus the men have to pay a lot to be there, so they are mostly serious. Women join for free !

The attention that you suddenly receive from many sex-starved men may be overwhelming at first, but if you are ruthless about your choices you may find a great new friend and lover

I am overwhelmed by your kindness. I hope I did not come across as a bit of a misery. I am looking at a Ladies Group that meets at a Community Centre I. The ne t town. I will keep you posted if I pluck up courage to go. I might also try a keep fit class.

I would agree with what's been said about Meetup. I joined the end of last year and it's been great. I joined an over 50's group first but then found another group that meets nearer to my local area. There are a great variety of events to choose from, both day and evening. I found the hosts for the events to be very welcoming, they will always make sure you're introduced to someone you may not have met before. A few younger people come to evening events but generally the age range is 50s to 70s

I Flossie, where do you live? I joined 'growing old disgracefully' when I retired and met lots of lively, like minded women in my group in Manchester. Have a look at the website to see if there is a group near you.

One of the most sociable groups I ever joined was called Knit and Chat. You might be able to find one by Googling. The one local to me was in a community centre on Wednesday afternoons. You took a knitting or crochet piece along each week and then would sit and talk to the others. Those who didnt have a knit or crochet project would do squares for refugee blankets, or Knitted Knockers for breast cancer (yes it is what it sounds like). A couple of people joined for help with learning how to knit properly. It was basically a good excuse for a natter! and very enjoyable.

Sorry meant to say they organise SOCIAL events

If you are politically minded you could join whichever party you support - they generally organise local events for fund raising as well as to support the local candidates.

Other than that, another vote for U3A - my local one doesn't seem to do much but I have friends who get a lot out of theirs.

This forum as well as the local GN sites are great for making new local friends. Take the plunge and suggest a place and time that suits you to meet for a coffee.
I have made many new friends this way and this has led to lunches, trips and joining groups together. You already have GN in common!

I also would recommend U3A, It's much cheaper than evening classes (just an annual fee - not much: in this area its £15 per annum) and then you can join as many interest groups as you want as well as attend the monthly meetings with a speaker,or entertainment. Interest Meetings are usually informal with 10 or so people in each other's homes and usually very friendly though of course it depends on the group.Ive tried a couple which i didn't really get on with but Im now in a group that I love, and we have such a lot of fun together. Enquire what groups are in your area and try a few out. In my area there is a group to suit most interests including a group which goes on regular trips to theatres, sightseeing in London, NT gardens etc. You would have to pay a bit more of course for coaches and entrance fees. There are walking groups, reading groups, music groups (maybe just listening to music, or some where you can learn to play th ukulele for example, ) language groups, help with computers, tracking ancestors whatever appeals to you. Worth enquiring anyway - what is there to lose?,

hello Flossie
just a suggestion ...... have yu tried to join the ramblers association, I did when I became a widow, amongst other ordinary ways of keeping your sanity after such a loss in my life. Walking helps, after all, you walk as and when you feel the need, other walkers I have found just love to chat away the hours which makes to walks appear to be shorter and fills your mind with interests, I suggest "you give it a go"

All the very best xxx

Dear Flossieturner, I do relate to your dilemma, it's so hard as we get older to find where we fit in after caring for everyone. I'm lucky that I still work at a challenging job but still feel lonely at times when it's just me and 2 cats when I get home! But have you thought of joining a local U3A? They offer so many daytime courses in all sorts of interesting subjects. Do look them up and good luck!

U3A can be as hit'n'miss as anything else, it depends on the group.
I have a family member who enjoys it but she goes there with her sister and it's not their social life and I never hear anything about the other people in their group, just about what they've done.

Bit like when new mums are told that if they join the NCT they'll have "Friends for life" … saying something is a fail safe route to a bunch of good friends can leave people's confidence knocked if the particular group they're bunched with just doesn't have that dynamic

When you volunteer it is completely different to caring for your own family. I have been there for both my husband and mother for 11 years and now volunteer for Hospiscare, it is wonderful and very sociable. I am a Navigator and we support one or two people/families in their own home. Very rewarding indeed. My client consistently says nobody visits, even though she has professional carers come in 4 times a day. She has late stage dementia and cannot remember two minutes after a visitor has gone that anyone has been, BUT she enjoys it in the moment. Perhaps your family were like that too? Enjoy your freedom and fill your day walking, swimming, exercising, dancing, barn dancing/folk dancing is good no partner needed and so on. I haven't got enough hours in the day. Good luck finding what you enjoy.

Also agree that volunteering doesn't = "friends"
I've done a lot of volunteering, and while in itself it's a social activity and people are friendly and chatty whilst you're volunteering together, it's hard to jump from that to anything more. And TBH that wasn't why I was there, people volunteer for all sorts of reasons.

"join a club or hobby" is often the standard response to this question, but I find that with hobbies it's hard to make the transition to chatting at the weekly class to meeting up outside of that, it's almost like asking someone out on a date!

I find reaching out to neighbours works better and have made some good friends of all ages that way. Its the wrong time of year but halloween is a good time for this as people are out and about: Met some older neighbours we'ld never met before last halloween because they'ld set up a trick or treat couldren thing outside thier house and we're now friendly with them. Could you do something like that for easter? Make a tray of hot cross buns and pop round the neighbourhood with them?

I have a lot of friends who were just familiar faces from the local area who I've ended up getting friendly with over time, but that's not something you can rush or force.

Studying is hit and miss, I've done some courses where the group has really gelled, but you may get a group that never stays in contact.

I guess there's no magic formula!

My Mother-in-Law, who lived to be 100 and with all her marbles in place, told me soon after she was widowed (when she was a mere 68) that it was no use waiting for people to phone her to organise drinks/bridge/coffee/lunch et al. She just went for the proverbial jugular and phoned her friends in the morning (9ish, I imagine) to plan a day's jaunt. She knew she couldn't wait for some unknown being to organise her social life. And she had the wisdom and insight to organise her own very happy old age. PS: She also did meals on wheels etc. while she was still active. A lesson for us all perhaps?

Ramblers
U3A
Sorted

This is pretty much the same as my position. Although my older relatives were happy that I was there to help the younger ones are not so happy that I am not prepared to finance their lifestyles.
I had a period of not being very well but now I am much more in control of my health.
I take days out to nearish coastal towns alone which is fine but would be much nicer if I knew someone.
Caring can be such an isolating thing it is difficult to get back into a normal life.
SPF

The U3A is a great organisation that will be to help you get back into a social scene
Just contact your local group and ser what takes your fancy

Try your local U3A - in mine there are loads of groups where you can meet people and enjoy learning together. It's a wonderful organisation which offers activities and trips. The great thing is that, apart from an annual fee, the groups are all free! You will meet people and gradually get to know them.

Just to endorse this. The U3A is brilliant for meeting people with similar interests. There are now over 1000 local U3As all over the UK so you should be able to find one near you.