What weird phrases do you use?

I recognise a lot of these sayings. My mum's family came from the North of England. Is that where most of you are? I still use the 'blind man on a galloping horse' one.

Requests for what is for dinner were usually answered by 'tantadullum'. No idea what that was or how to spell it but it sounded intriguing!

My dad when asked where he was going always said "to see a man about a dog".

My father had a work shed and I would stand and watch and ask what he was doing/making, his answer was always the same " a gugar for a wigwam " When we asked where we were going on holiday the reply was " Pensher willick sands " Penshaw is actually an inland hill and they definitely did not sell whelks there. We never went on holiday, probably why it sticks in my mind.

When grandad had forty winks, he'd say I wasn't asleep, just checking out the inside of my eyelids.
My nan couldn't always remember names so it would be 'Fannyanne' or' Charlie Farnsbarns'. I still use those today.

Years ago we overhead a girl refer to "aromatic duck" as "automatic duck". We've call it that every since.

When anyone tried to cut corners on a job, my Nana would say "No use spoiling the ship for a hap'orth of tar." Grandad was in the Navy, so I guess that's where it originated.

I often find myself using the expression "about as much use as a one-legged man at an a r s e kicking contest", although I've a feeling it's a Pythonism rather than traditional. Can anyone enlighten me?

Neither use nor ornament.

My mum used to say 'Gordon Bennett ' don't know where t comes from but I use the saying too.

When I had had a row with my mother and both of us had sunk into a sullen silence, my brother would look from one to the other and say "Meanwhile, back at the ranch....".

my nan when she was annoyed would say , 'dont mind my cat jumping about sir I think it's after a rat' when asked what was for tea she'd say ' duck under the table' if she liked something it was' the bees knees' and if you refused to go somewhere or do something you were' cutting your nose of to spite your face'

When it looked like rain my mother used to say "it's black over Bill's mother's", she always said "mother" and not "muther". Who Bill is, who knows!

'When Nelson gets his eye back' for goodness knows when.

My mother used to describe someone as having a kind face like a cow. Not sure if it was meant as a compliment or not!

Some of these are very familiar to me!

When we were kids and my mum was getting ready to go out we would ask, "where are you going?" and she always replied "off my head, d'ya wanna come?"

Lots of familiar ones, happy memories. Here's some more, it says Fry's (chocolate) but it doesn't mean they sell it & it says India on the tyres but it doesn't mean they go there - on a bus.

When my DGD was making something & asked where he got the idea "from my 'ead". If you saw an unknown object it was "a thingapurpose" or a "whatnot"

I still use "how long's a piece of string"

Not blessed with the best head of hair my Dad used to say- of me- I've seen better hair on tuppenny bacon.

When I complain about an ailment, my DH says 'you're as fit as a butcher's dog.'

Unfortunately these like many others, such as one of my gran's ' neither use nor ornament' describing my grandfathers efforts in hanging out the washing, are becoming a thing of the past. Sad.

I feel like a piece of chewed string or I feel like death warmed over.

'Neither use nor ornament' or 'no good to man nor beast' or as DH insists on saying 'neither use to man nor ornament!'

'Money and fair words' was used round here as well as 'a pretty penny' when asked hjow much one had paid for something.

Arry. Hasn't that been replaced by 'As if'?

teabagwoman "let me and my heart take counsel for war is not of life the sum" - Google tells me this is a quotation from a Civil War poem - how interesting!

These are all brilliant. I remember being told when i asked what was for tea, 'if we've got it you can have it, if we haven't then you can't'

Also if you knew when someone was up to mischief and they denied it mum would say 'I know you, upside down, inside out and back to front'

And if the sky was very dark and threatening a storm she would say 'its as black as Newgate's knocker!!! i never really knew what that meant or understood it.

My mum used to describe miserable looking people as 'sour puss'. My DH recently described someone he doesn't like much as 'she always looks like she's chewing a wasp'