Gransnet forums

Chat

Late night early morning thoughts

(59 Posts)
bartonlady Mon 13-Feb-17 09:26:50

I am lucky in that most times I can get off to sleep after reading a page or two of a book. But some nights I can't and most mornings I wake up around 4.30ish and start to feel anxious/regretful about things that happened years ago. Did I care enough for my parents when they were ill, did I support my sisters enough when they were younger and had families, have I said something I shouldn't have to Friends over the years!! i know these thoughts are irrational and I can't do anything about them but I can't stop them coming into my head. I've not told my husband or anyone close. Do any of you think the same?

baubles Mon 13-Feb-17 10:37:08

Ah yes the 4am negativity is familiar to me. I'm getting better but in the past waking at 4am with my mind racing, full of negative thoughts was a common occurrence.

If it is happening often it may be worth having a chat with your GP. It can be a symptom of depression.

glammanana Mon 13-Feb-17 10:41:16

I do think many of us will do the same when awake in the early hours,all you have to think is that you did the best you could at the time and not dwell on things that can't be changed,try and think positive thoughts even get up and make a brew it may do well to share with hubby he could be having similar thoughts too.

gillybob Mon 13-Feb-17 10:43:42

It's familiar to me too baubles

I empathise bartonlady and suffer from the 4.00 am "demons in the night".

I have no problems getting to sleep but, like you, wake up with these negative thoughts rushing through my mind. Mine almost always focus on work (real problems) or loved ones who I think I might have let down (or be letting down) in some way or another. Things I wished I had said to someone, things I wish I had done.... sad

bartonlady Mon 13-Feb-17 10:47:19

Thank all three of you for sharing. I feel better knowing I'm not alone here. Yes I always feel better when I'm up doing something. When I was worki g I was too tired to wake up at 4.30!!

bartonlady Mon 13-Feb-17 10:49:20

Gillybob like your comment on things I wish I'd said and done! This is so true! xx

henetha Mon 13-Feb-17 11:29:47

Me too. I hate waking in the night and having those grasshoppers hopping around in my head. Guilt, worries about the future, missing people. The only way I can ease it is to read for a while, - but then feel like death warmed up with tiredness in the morning.
It is of some comfort to know that I am not alone in this.

MawBroon Mon 13-Feb-17 11:38:07

I think most of us share the (for me) " 4.30 a.m. Syndrome"
Things seem so much worse in thecwee small hours and is little point in telling yourself all will be well in the mornng because you know you are lying! grin

Joelsnan Mon 13-Feb-17 11:40:20

Most times when either I can't get to sleep or wake early morning with racing thoughts intent on giving me a mental beating I have found that listening to audiobooks helps. Over the years I have amassed a number and find that putting one of theses on at a barely audible level or with earphones in whilst laid with eyes closed quite quickly lulls me back to sleep. Of all the audiobooks I have I have found that Stephen Fry reading Hitch hikers guide to the galaxy works best, he seems to have a soothing voice.

bartonlady Mon 13-Feb-17 11:48:54

Thank you all again, it's a comfort to have your comments. Joelsnan Im going to take my iPod and headphones to bed with me, I've got so many audio books, and try it!

ggmarion Mon 13-Feb-17 16:53:32

I am also a 4 a.m. worrier. I never worry about what anyone has said or done to me, but could I have done more for anyone. Should I have insisted that the hospital investigated further when told there would be no resucitation (sp) for my Mum. Turned out after a p.m. they could have done. Also did I offend so and so with what I said, did they misread it? I go over and over things I have said that could have been misconstrued. It is 12 years since I had my dear old dog put to sleep and I wonder if I could have kept her a bit longer.
During the day I am level headed and I know if anyone else were saying this to me I would reassure them.

Luckygirl Mon 13-Feb-17 17:30:05

I have an iPod Nano and some headphones that you can sleep with (flat ones on a hairband like joggers use) and I listen to my favourite music or one of several relaxation tracks that I have on there.

TriciaF Mon 13-Feb-17 17:44:18

I have those morbid thoughts too, waking in the middle of the night.
I think it might be due to a drop in blood sugar level.
Look on google for ideas, or get up and make some toast and jam.

Ankers Mon 13-Feb-17 18:35:24

I totally disregard any last minute going to sleep thoughts, and any in the night.
I know them to be an utter load of tosh and worse!

shysal Mon 13-Feb-17 18:39:40

That is an interesting idea, Tricia. I wake between 3 and 4am with a churning tummy, not always being really aware of what is worrying me to start with. As soon as I stir, my cats join me on/in the bed and start nudging me for breakfast and performing the Wall of Death around the bedroom. By 4.30-5am I get up, feed them then have a long soak in the bath, reading and dozing until it is a more reasonable time to get up and dressed. I only get 4-5 hours sleep every night but seem to manage well on it. Even as a child I got up early to deliver newspapers, have never been able to have the luxury of a lie-in, but I do love my bath.

Greyduster Mon 13-Feb-17 19:02:08

Gosh, I'd no idea that so many of us struggled with this. I don't get through many nights these days without some problem, real or imagined, rearing its ugly head, that then takes on nightmare proportions. They are usually current difficulties, not things from the past They pop into your head as soon as your eyes are open and then it is game over for any more sleep. I envy DH who never has a wakeful night. I seem to do the worrying for most of us!

bartonlady Mon 13-Feb-17 19:08:51

Again a big thank you to all. I don't want anyone to have these thoughts BUT at the same time is so reassuring to know I'm not alone! I'm going to try the audiobook suggestion made by Joelsnan tonight. I think some of my worries hark back to being the eldest of 5 and responsible for making everything right for everyone. Impossible I know!! Love to all who shared their experiences and thoughts. It's so good to have the good sense of GN friends while remaining relatively anonymous when discussing problems. xx

Liaise Mon 13-Feb-17 19:26:49

I too wake at 4 am. I have a book reading light that fixes on the back of my book. It came from John Lewis. They keep them under the desk in the lighting dept. The battery lasts quite a long time. It is called Mighty Bright. My son has a pillow which plays old comedy programmes quietly all night as he hardly sleeps at all.

Lona Mon 13-Feb-17 19:30:23

I'm often awake around 4.30ish but I worry about the future not the past. I think sometimes it's because the temperature drops and I feel a bit cold, so I bought a heavier duvet and it doesn't happen quite so often now.

Jalima Mon 13-Feb-17 19:44:37

I sometimes wake too and have more anxiety thoughts about what could happen, and occasionally worrying about something I did or said wrong.

Iam64 Mon 13-Feb-17 19:58:30

It's reassuring to read this thread and find I'm not alone with my 3 - 4 am anxieties.

Liaise Mon 13-Feb-17 20:09:26

I think we are all concerned about what the future will bring. Never mind what has gone before. Getting older is strange. There is a different person looking at you in the mirror.

Mildred Mon 13-Feb-17 23:07:11

I too have problems with waking in the wee hours, I use audiobooks or downloads from Radio4/4extra, a soothing voice helps me doze, but I am usually awake by 6.30am, I think sometimes that our sleep pattern is knocked out of kilter when we have children from when they are babies right through waiting for a teenager to come home and that's over at least a 20 year period and it will take a long time to correct it.

Chewbacca Mon 13-Feb-17 23:24:39

Can't believe how many nocturnal worriers there are out there, I thought it was just me. I think that a sleep pattern is very much a habit that's formed, like any other habit and, once it's broken, it's very difficult to get back on track. Like so many of you, I rely on the radio, turned down low, to get me to sleep. BBC IPlayer, set to Radio 4 extra has seen me through many a long and worrisome night.

Elrel Tue 14-Feb-17 00:00:55

I rarely go to bed at a reasonable time and when there don't always settle down to sleep. I seem to fight the day ending and giving up to sleep. Then I have trouble getting up. I awaken a couple of times in the night and tonight, and in future, will remember I'm not the only one awake and think of you all. Have a peaceful night, everyone.
A friend recommends the audiobook of Just William to get to sleep to, or Under Milk Wood. The World Service tends to worry me more although there are positive stories there too.