Dividing cafe/restaurant bills.

A group of us (old babysitting group + extras!) go out monthly for a meal. Over the years we have decided that the fairest thing is to pay what we owe and add 10%. It works well, and doesn't take that much time. The cost of bottles of wine are shared between the drinkers.

The slight problem is maddyone that he is not "a friend" at all. If you get what I mean.

He is the sort of person who regularly eats at ours and is always "going to return the favour"

If there are a few of us we usually go for the equal shares. None of the people we eat with take advantage. If they did, on a regular basis, we would not eat with them again. It can get mighty complicated otherwise. I worked for a large building society and around fifteen of us went out one evening and had a really nice meal and drinks. For some reason it took us half the night to sort the bill out, despite there being, among others, three members of the accounts staff and two people from passbook reconciliations (not helped by the fact that most of us had had too much to drink and could hardly put two and two together to make four! ?).

I'm all for dividing the bill by the number there. It's easiest. BUT ( and it's a big BUT) there's always one who orders the lobster for example ie the most expensive item on the menu .... Drinks far more than everyone else combined, etc etc.

Absolutely nothing one can do about it except shrug your shoulders and think bad manners.

Does that make me mean? I hope not .... Just observant!

For us it's divide equally... or we pay for all the family when we suggest Sunday Lunch out vs inviting them to come to ours.

But I remember eating out as a young single person dining out on the rare occasion with friends, and we had to divide it accordingly. Some had wine, others didn't drink at all, some had a full meal and dessert, others had two starters for a meal. We were on a budget, so had to do the calculator thing. We kept it low key though. The humorous bit was... were all worked in the budget office of the university LOL!

So I think it depends on your eating-out budget.

We divide by number of people but my friend & I who like a drink more than the rest always buy a bottle between us before the meal. That is only fair as they will have maybe one glass & we have more. We always get a lift or a cab!

Depends which friends they are. One couple will order everything in sight whereas we are not big eaters/drinkers. So they order theirs and we order ours. They once ran up a bill for £300 on an evening meal and expected us to pay half. We didn't. We avoid going out with them now.

Other friends however are more thoughtful, and we have no problem spiltting it between us.

Four of us lunch every month. We split food bill four ways then add our drinks onto each seperate person as some only drink water others wine. Works for us.

It can be just as embarrassing if someone constantly pays, the first and largest round, dinner is on me, my treat, at least let me leave a tip etc in their desperate attempt to not appear 'tight'

I sometimes go out with a few friends where 2 of us will share a bottle of wine while another likes a spirit and others have soft drinks. We usually pay for our own drinks as we order them and split the food bill equally.

I find it difficult to explain to Germans that in almost any other European country the bill is split equally, regardless of what you ate.

In Germany, the waiter will tot up each person's items individually and charge you exactly for what you ate/drank. As everyone rounds up when they pay, this must prove more lucrative for the waiter as he then gets a tip from everyone at the table.

Of course, if it is a family dinner or a birthday invitation, it may well be that everything is paid for by one person. The person who asks for the bill will then be presented with it. But first, the waiter will always ask if you are paying all together or separately, and will then present the bill accordingly.

I can't be doing with that - surely over a whole friendship things would even out?

The only time we pay what we owe is if we go out with all the children and their children as DS1 is unmarried, has no children and lives on benefits so it doesn't seem fair to lumber him with equal shares. It gets very stressful though sorting it out.

I went out once only with a group of around 6 of us. I had no problems dividing the cost of the food equally but I had a major problem with the alcohol. Each drank an entire bottle of wine, I had a Diet coke or similar. I did not see why I should be subsidising their meal. Maybe I am mean, it is my Scottish heritage.

With DS and his family we usually pay one time and him the next - never worrying about the price of the restaurant or the fact there are the two boys. We are usually staying with them so we think that is fair enough.
DD and family are easy enough and we split it - with DGD and her partner we take it in turns - he would pay all the time if we let him which is very kind but we now know so OH gets in first if it is our turn!!

Dividing a bill would be simple if everyone ate and drank the same food.

Personally, I never want a starter or pudding whereas others do, of course.

Why should I pay for others food, that's the way I feel.

It's much simpler if you ask for separate bills at the start, then no need for any resentments.

I used to go out to dinner with the wives of DH's colleagues; DH was the lowest status of the lot, we had 3 DCs, I didn't work - money was a bit tight.. the bill was divided by X. There was one woman who always had things like lobster, so she could essentially have it free, since she wasn't paying the full price. it used to make my blood boil!
Sorry, I prefer paying my own consumption, thanks.
Now - if the outing is a family thing, or regular friends, then perhaps share the bill or take turns.

When I was still working I went out for a meal with a large group of colleagues. It fell to me to pay with a card having collected cash from the others, including a separate amount for a tip. It became clear, to me, that at least 2 people had paid nothing for meals or tip. I just paid any way, not wanting any bad feeling. Left a nasty taste though ( sorry about the pun), not because of the money, but because of the mean-spiritedness.

I can remember one occasion being out with colleagues and we all gave cash for the boss lady to pay with her card. - I can remember an occasion when the cash was at least one meal cost down. Very difficult those times.

We have travelled all over the world with a group of 10 friends. One of our rules is always to split the bill between the number of diners. If a member has actually incurred much more than anyone else then they are expected and do pay a little more into the kitty. I won't dine with people who scrutinise the bill and apportion payment.

As others have said with friends we just divide by the number of people and with families by the number of families (which means we pay rhe lions share but thats ok.
But it does depend on who you ste with. If people are eeally hard up and eat very little so they can afford to pay, its a bit mean to insist they pay towards other meals. That did happen to my daughter once when she was a student . I think we need to be a bit sensitive.
With me i sometimes feel guilty about having a pudding when others havent and offer to pay more but this is usually rejected!

I once gave my friend £20 to pay for our lunch. She went to the counter, paid, and pocketed the change! I didn't have the nerve to say anything. I'm sure she did it without realising what she'd done.

I learnt the had way. So f I go out with friends I pay for myself and they do too. Much better

I guess all the"split the bill people" drink. I don't and am really fed up with paying for other people's drinks.

Always just divide it - HATE mean penny-pinching people (and of course they are always the ones with most money - I wonder why?)

If it's family one person will pay for everything, we sort this out when going out for Birthday meals etc.

If I'm out with my DD & her friends & children we all pay individually, we normally go to somewhere like a Harvester so it's a simple matter of going to the till & letting waiter/waitress what you've had, they deduct it from the bill.