Are You Hugger ?

Hugs are nice when they're spontaneous and affectionate - but not when they're a social obligation. Now I'm getting older, I also dislike patronising hugs from young people who are in positions of authority. They always call you 'dear' as well, which I hate. I may be old, but I'm not senile, and I'm not a dear. I'm a vitriolic old bat, and proud of it!

I know how you feel Maidmarion, but for me it would have to be only from someone I knew very well or family members. At least now I have granddaughters I can give them a hug anytime.

I would give anyyyyythinggggg for a hug..... there's no-one to do it here ......

I'm a hugger more than a kisse. Hugs are good ?

Yes, I am a hugger! I admit it. I am not ashamed of it. I do it in public and in private :-)

Joking apart I have found that some children do not like to be hugged so I offer my hand to shake instead and that fits the bill. My dil is half German so I get a kiss both sides but not one of those awful mwa, mwa, kind of kisses they are gross. They mean nothing and so I avoid them like the plague. I love a hug from my G children and they like to be hugged a lot so that suits me fine.

As for a B&B owner to smack a kiss on the lips that is totally out of order! Did you slap him back? I would have cancelled my stay right there and then. Were there locks on the bedroom doors or not? Just asking.

I wasn't brought up in a touchy feely sort of way and I find it hard to hug and kiss unless my heart is really in it. Body language has been mentioned on here and mine must be a dead give away. My daughters chap comes from a family of enthusiastic huggers and they thought I didn't like them. I like them very much but wish they'd held their horses until I knew them better. My daughter explained!
I never know quite how to deal with the each side kissing that's offered and it all feels very awkward. Reserved? Me?
Just English of a certain vintage.

I agree. I don't even like air kissing but that is often hard to avoid.
I seem able to show with my body language that a hug is not going to be welcome. Hugging is for people you are close to unless maybe someone is obviously very unhappy or distressed but even then it may not be welcome.

Yikes, Gaggi!

CaliBoingo Having spent the almost the same amount of time in the US, and as an American, I agree. I prefer a one-armed hug from family and close friends to that stupid mwhaa mwhaa air kissing. That just give me the creeps.

Don't mind hugs and kisses from close friends and family. However, I was appalled when going to stay in a B and B ( we'd stayed there one night years before)I was greeted by an enormous kiss on the mouth from the host.

I never came from a kissy-huggy family, and the first time a friend hugged me as a teenager, I was quite taken aback...however, now I am the huggiest mum & grandma ever! I never want my family to be surprised or shocked by a hug! Whomever its from, a hug can't hurt you, and can mean the world to someone! Remember, they might not be hugging you for you, they might need it for themselves, and I see no reason to deny anyone some closeness! But these are my views, I wouldn't go to hug anyone if I can see they weren;t comfortable. xxx

I have a friend who hugs anyone and everyone. I think it says a lot more about her needs than anything else. Someone she knew had been diagnosed with cancer, friend goes in for a hug, person says, NO. But she tells her she needs a hug and does it anyway! Arrogant or what? I only hug people I know really well and ask my 7 year old grandson if he wants a hug, wouldn't presume and want him to know that it's ok to say no

Fist bumps spread fewer germs than handshakes.
GC (6-22) offer and accept hugs which is lovely.Only the 2 year old is still into kisses, head or cheek only.
I don't know how it happened but the two kiss thing at one time used to miss for me. On several occasions I found I'd accidentally kissed someone's neck! Inappropriate or what?!

I'm not a natural hugger. I lived in a Med country for a while and everyone b****y hugged. It just feels so disingenuous. I try to avoid hugging, but am happy to hug family and good friends.

Oh, goodness - my first 50 years were spent in the States, and I can assert that I'm hugged far more over here than I was in the U.S.! Yes, that includes strangers. Perhaps it's because I'm now in north east England and they claim to be friendlier here than in other parts of the U.K...? My theory is that it's just so COLD here, everyone wants to share body warmth. That said, I hate being hugged by people I've only just met. If it's an American thing, it must also be American to tell people forthwith that you do NOT want to be hugged, because I used to see that all the time.

I'd definitely miss my hugs. As a previous poster said I also befriended an elderly neighbour and she loved a hug as she hadn't;t had one for years. I think hugs are truly life affirming, providing both parties want to participate.

I have a lovely Hungarian DIL and I get a kiss on both cheeks every time we meet. It seemed strange at first, her custom, but now love it .... she is the daughter I would have wished for if I'd had a girl :-)

I am always concerned that when we all greet and shake hands when meeting in church on Sunday mornings that many germs will be spreaf at the coffee (h biscuit ) fellowship which follows the service. In the last few years people have begun to hug each other and I think hugging is a far better idea and less likely to spread germs.

Yes I'm a hugger - not of strangers, but have one or two good friends, of both sexes, whom I do hug.

Coming from a non hugging family I have had to train my
self to accept hugs , am not terribly keen on kisses unless they are from children though .
I remember the first time I saw a footballer cry during a match , we all sat open mouthed ! I think we have all got a lot more demonstrative in the last 20 years or so . A lot less of the British stiff upper lip on view but what I really dislike is the constant crying on TV over every little thing including being overweight , having small boobs , big boobs, thin hair , being too tall - the list goes on .. I am a fairly sensitive type but rarely cry in public unless at a funeral or similar when I just can`t control it .

Phoenix what a horrible thing to do, must make you very wary of putting anything on here now. Please don't stop though some of your posts have made me laugh out loud.

Moving in, not moving information!

No hugging here either I hate my personal space being invaded and feel incredibly awkward when I see moving information the huge and mwah! mwah!

I'm ok with hugging. Last time someone attempted the double kissing thing we both went the same way and met in the middle. Embarrassing.

This happened to me and my brother in law
Trouble is, the ILs are all cheek kissy people, BIL (not DH's brother, DH's brother in law, so the ILs are not BILs birth family) and I are not! It works okay if BIL or me are doing the cheek kiss thing with one of the ILs because we let the ILs "lead" as it were, but when it got to our turn to cheek kiss each other we were both awkward and nobody was leading and we were swaying a bit and I picked a side and he picked a side and well….. we both silently agreed to never speak of it, we just approach each other VERRRRRRY SLOWLY when we get to each other during the IL cheek kissy greeting sessions

Hugs are safer! soo so much safer!

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I work with a lot of "luvvies" who do the silly air kisses, up to three these days. I don't kiss or hug anyone unless they're close friends.