A nice young man rang this morning

It's very tempting to give these annoying people an earful. But I try to work out what would stop them doing it again. Usually I say that I'm not interested, I haven't given permission to be called, take me off their database, don't ring again, then I end the call. Depends on their attitude how nicely or angrily I say it! Not as much fun as some of your responses, but it seems to work. I almost never get nuisance calls now - and that's the result I want, they're simply a waste of everyone's time.

Oh thank you for the tip, I must remember next time one of these peope ring, its a great way to get rid of them. Made my day!

Yes, I told someone who came to the door cold calling that I was the cleaner. I was cleaning and looked rather scruffy, although I must say that my neighbour's cleaner always looks quite smart.

I always say "I'm sorry but I'm only the cleaner". Told some Jahovers witnesses that at the door and they apologised and left. Clearly the cleaner is not worth saving!

Stupidly I got caught out on that one a few years ago, was on my computer at the time and they rang up I was having trouble at the time. I learnt a hard lesson never again.

We have had about 5 calls a day this week all reputed to be from Microsoft . It is driving us mad . We now just put the phone on the table and walk away and let them chat away to the table . A PPI have just called AGAIN .

My approach has always been the same whatever the product/service/scam on offer. I say "Oh I'm glad you rang as I really need to know about this. Hold on a moment while I get a pen to take some notes". Then I lay the phone down gently and go back to watching the TV. I have often wondered how long it takes them to realise that I am not coming back.

my husband, tone deaf, when he heard a foreign accent said 'Oh, I would love to sing you a song from MY country' before the scammer could draw breath.
'Thank you, sir' said a polite scammer at the end of a garbled National Anthem.'Now, could we discuss your Windows computer?'
'Oh no', said husband, 'you must sing me a song from YOUR country first

I had one last week, he phoned 4 times over two days claiming to be doing a survey. Told him twice I wouldn't do any survey, third time (and third English name with a strong foreign accent) he started his script. Asked me if he had right name/phone number - umm well he phoned me. Then started rattling on about this survey, I said "now hang on a minute, you have my name and number so what's yours?" He tried to start his patter again. Me - "I politely asked you a question, don't be so rude and ignore it". Off he goes again so I told him to p* off and do something worthwhile with his life. He started to say something and I put the phone down. It rang again an hour later but I didn't answer, it was same number, Portsmouth area. He hasn't tried again. I reported it on a couple of sites.

These posts really make me laugh. I've got a friend who loves keeping people on the line. Her best one was someone who rang and tried to get her to change her phone provider. She wound them up for a while then said " but I don't even have a phone" There was a long pause then they hung up.

I'm not as quick as her or some of you and usually just hang up, but I wish I could think of funny replies. I'll get my thinking cap on!

Such a funny subject. Crystalgrandma I just spent 20 minutes on YouTube following your link . I'm really looking forward to the phone ringing. I usually say I will get my mummy and leave them hanging until I hear the exasperated swearing and a click.

I have a friend who, when they say 'how are you today?' Replies 'Im really ill, Ive only got days to live' with graphic details. They usually mumble an apology and ring off.

I had a very pushy sale girl phone me one day asking if I would like a conservatory. I replied that I would and she went on and on with the details . I asked if they could make one at least 30ft high and she said she would just contact her manager to find out. A little while later she came back and said yes they could make one 30ft high. I said that was excellent as I lived in a first floor flat. To say she was furious was an understatement. I pointed out to her that she had asked me if I would LIKE a conservatory and I would. Grammar can be a tricky thing to work with.

This has made me laugh so much, I too have Caller ID & rarely answer calls instead letting them go to answering service, in many cases I can't get to the phone quickly enough.

However the other day I'd had numerous calls from the same number, as I was sitting at my Dining Table with the phone next to me later in the day it rang, so I picked it up & barked "Hello", lady said she was from EDF so I told her I wasn't interested & not too call me again. I had another call about 30 mins later, as soon as I barked "Hello", silence. Nothing since then, good job really as I'm afraid I was in the mood to tell them to f* off

I've stopped the "have you had an accident" calls by asking "where do you get your information from? I'm afraid it's incorrect" & put the phone down.

Funnily enough I've never had a "computer scam" call" but I love the "little old lady" approach

Two points:

It's worrying that quite a few comments here seem to be from people who don't realise these calls are complete scams.

When free loft insulation was being offered in my area - a somewhat cack-handed operation, but you DID get several rolls of insulation installed for free, with no compulsion to buy 'extras' - I put the phone down on them several times before accepting the possibility it might NOT be a scam.

So far this morning I have received 4 calls with a recording about people on benefits being able to get a new boiler - these all come from different numbers (one international) but are the same recording. Reporting these calls doesn't do any good as they are not real numbers. I have been a member of the TPS for several years and report calls to the Information Commissioners Office.

I always pass these calls to my husband who enjoys playing about and making them lose time etc. but one day after keeping a man talking for about 20 minutes the caller let rip with a barrage of insults as the penny finally dropped and husband was so offended that he's really nice to everyone now. Mainly because all the family are still laughing about this and he feels his male pride is dented

Kittylester....Wonderful! Thank you for sharing. It's so good to start the day with a chuckle especially when the thought keeps recurring....... I think I have successfully offloaded most of the cold callers now but it took time. I listened to their garble and when asked 'How long have you had whatever?' I would pause and then reply 'gosh it must be getting on for 18 months now'. End of conversation AND no subsequent calls so somebody somewhere is keeping records. On the reverse, a young man called and wanted to discuss my computer. When I said I didn't own one there was a pregnant pause followed by a very sincere 'why are you lying to me?' Ouch. I retreated as quickly as I could. Yes, it was a cold call but I did feel a little guilty.

I have just had a call from an Indian lady asking to speak to the person who pays the energy bills, I put on my wobbly old lady voice and said "I don't know where he is, I think he has gone out and left me"

My favourite (the OG had replied to the phone) was to bang down a kitchen stool on the tiled floor, a loud bang, and scream 'He's shot me, he's shot me!' followed by an agonising scream. The 'murder' was not reported.

Had such a laugh reading these posts, I'm tempted to turn off "caller identity"! Generally we just let these go to answerphone but now and again one of us will do a stringalong - we've certainly got some new lines to try out now.

Good on gransnetters we'll show 'em we're not doddering old gits who can be so easily conned! Gave me a good laugh this morning and reminded me of years ago when i got an idiot man on the line and i pretended to be deaf so he had to keep repeating his pervy rubbish ever louder. My 'no i'm sorry i just didn't get that' made sure he soon put the phone down on me!

Good for you Kitty!

We had four or five scam calls in one day and I was fed up so when the phone rang yet again I said "fraud squad" loudly down the phone. The poor man on the other end was apologetic and sorry to have bothered us but he must have the wrong number because he was from a well known charity, he may well have been but I never heard from him again.

What an inventive lot you are!! This post has made my day, lol Wish I could think of something as quickly as you do. I just hang up ... my prerogative I guess.