A nice young man rang this morning

these have made me laugh.. I had one some time ago, same thing my computer had been hacked and they were from Microsoft and needed to take control of it so they could repair it. I said "oh how kind of you to let me know and said I would get my SiL to look at it as he works for Microsoft, the phone went down in a hurry.... the very next day I had the same call, I politely asked was it the same problem they had phoned me about before. Stupid F**ing Stupid said the voice at the other end... not sure if he was referring to himself or me!

When we get calls like this my DH nsnwers with "I havent got a computer, they are the work of the devil etc etc...". Surprise surprise they ring off

I try to keep callers talking for as long as possible (for sport) and then say 'wait a moment please I'll go and get matron', this only works in the UK...foreigners get 'my son is a policeman and was on night duty, I'll get him up and ask him to come to the phone'.

It isn't aerobic but it is fun.

I played the slightly dumb innocent for about five minutes, asking who he was, several times, and what was he saying about computers? 'Then told him I hadn't got one! Stunned silence, phone went down.

One day when feeling short tempered I let rip; in response to 'I am working for Miscrosoft' I responded 'and you are a crook - p* off'. that did it, too.

We had a similar call. I handed the phone to hubby. He went along with it and said his computer was already switched on. The young man asked what he could see. Hubby then described some very pornographic pictures! (No he doesn't really watch that) He was told to do something very strange with his willy and the phone call was ended.

One for a laugh

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttrzG5F4R3o

I can't wait for my next nuisance call. I think I'll tell them that they're through to a sex-line and they're being charged £20 per minute!

I'm another one who lets them ramble on for a bit. I listen while playing Candy Crush or similar, then tell them I haven't got a computer. I don't get so many calls these days!

If you still have the number it is worth reporting it. Put the phone number into google and a number of sites come up that keep records. If they don't have that particular number, report it there. Phone companies check these sites and modern phones put up a warning that the number has been reported so people can decide whether to answer it.

Oh that made me laugh out loud haha. I wouldn't have been quick enough to think on my feet like that. Well done you.

What an inventive lot you are!! This post has made my day, lol Wish I could think of something as quickly as you do. I just hang up ... my prerogative I guess.

We had four or five scam calls in one day and I was fed up so when the phone rang yet again I said "fraud squad" loudly down the phone. The poor man on the other end was apologetic and sorry to have bothered us but he must have the wrong number because he was from a well known charity, he may well have been but I never heard from him again.

Good for you Kitty!

Good on gransnetters we'll show 'em we're not doddering old gits who can be so easily conned! Gave me a good laugh this morning and reminded me of years ago when i got an idiot man on the line and i pretended to be deaf so he had to keep repeating his pervy rubbish ever louder. My 'no i'm sorry i just didn't get that' made sure he soon put the phone down on me!

Had such a laugh reading these posts, I'm tempted to turn off "caller identity"! Generally we just let these go to answerphone but now and again one of us will do a stringalong - we've certainly got some new lines to try out now.

My favourite (the OG had replied to the phone) was to bang down a kitchen stool on the tiled floor, a loud bang, and scream 'He's shot me, he's shot me!' followed by an agonising scream. The 'murder' was not reported.

I have just had a call from an Indian lady asking to speak to the person who pays the energy bills, I put on my wobbly old lady voice and said "I don't know where he is, I think he has gone out and left me"

Kittylester....Wonderful! Thank you for sharing. It's so good to start the day with a chuckle especially when the thought keeps recurring....... I think I have successfully offloaded most of the cold callers now but it took time. I listened to their garble and when asked 'How long have you had whatever?' I would pause and then reply 'gosh it must be getting on for 18 months now'. End of conversation AND no subsequent calls so somebody somewhere is keeping records. On the reverse, a young man called and wanted to discuss my computer. When I said I didn't own one there was a pregnant pause followed by a very sincere 'why are you lying to me?' Ouch. I retreated as quickly as I could. Yes, it was a cold call but I did feel a little guilty.

I always pass these calls to my husband who enjoys playing about and making them lose time etc. but one day after keeping a man talking for about 20 minutes the caller let rip with a barrage of insults as the penny finally dropped and husband was so offended that he's really nice to everyone now. Mainly because all the family are still laughing about this and he feels his male pride is dented

So far this morning I have received 4 calls with a recording about people on benefits being able to get a new boiler - these all come from different numbers (one international) but are the same recording. Reporting these calls doesn't do any good as they are not real numbers. I have been a member of the TPS for several years and report calls to the Information Commissioners Office.

Two points:

It's worrying that quite a few comments here seem to be from people who don't realise these calls are complete scams.

When free loft insulation was being offered in my area - a somewhat cack-handed operation, but you DID get several rolls of insulation installed for free, with no compulsion to buy 'extras' - I put the phone down on them several times before accepting the possibility it might NOT be a scam.

This has made me laugh so much, I too have Caller ID & rarely answer calls instead letting them go to answering service, in many cases I can't get to the phone quickly enough.

However the other day I'd had numerous calls from the same number, as I was sitting at my Dining Table with the phone next to me later in the day it rang, so I picked it up & barked "Hello", lady said she was from EDF so I told her I wasn't interested & not too call me again. I had another call about 30 mins later, as soon as I barked "Hello", silence. Nothing since then, good job really as I'm afraid I was in the mood to tell them to f* off

I've stopped the "have you had an accident" calls by asking "where do you get your information from? I'm afraid it's incorrect" & put the phone down.

Funnily enough I've never had a "computer scam" call" but I love the "little old lady" approach

I had a very pushy sale girl phone me one day asking if I would like a conservatory. I replied that I would and she went on and on with the details . I asked if they could make one at least 30ft high and she said she would just contact her manager to find out. A little while later she came back and said yes they could make one 30ft high. I said that was excellent as I lived in a first floor flat. To say she was furious was an understatement. I pointed out to her that she had asked me if I would LIKE a conservatory and I would. Grammar can be a tricky thing to work with.

I have a friend who, when they say 'how are you today?' Replies 'Im really ill, Ive only got days to live' with graphic details. They usually mumble an apology and ring off.

Such a funny subject. Crystalgrandma I just spent 20 minutes on YouTube following your link . I'm really looking forward to the phone ringing. I usually say I will get my mummy and leave them hanging until I hear the exasperated swearing and a click.