Presents for grandchildren rejected

even if you think she's crackers

I'd vote for that as post of the day, Marmark1!

i buy my grandkids loads of stuff so the same with my 2 kids...spoilt spoilt spoilt........but dont worry buy them one present each next time,,,but remind yourself you can buy them what the hell you like when they reach the age. 21....then you can go mad,thats what i keep reminding myself,

Joaqnblunt what a lovely post

Okay folks... just ran this past both Ds this morning... D1-- "8 presents?. That is ridiculous!' D2 - 'B.... hell! Bonkers!' (She is quite forthright ). D1, who is an analyst by profession, then asked - 'Was neither parent consulted before this overkill? Was the grandma going to clear up all the wrapping paper, calm down the kids, and scrape the playdough off the carpet... all before lunch ?' D1 does drive me round the bend with her sensible thinking at times, but she does have a point this time I must say.

I agree Floweroffwest page 11

Joaqnblunt what a lovely post

Who?

I think I'm 'crackers' just read all the post, bar pages3,4,5. How lovely to sit at home, glancing at the twinkling Xmas tree, cup of tea in hand, no work! Whaw [tchgin]

I run this past my niceD this morning, and she confirmed she was thrilled with the gifts I'd bought for GD. Her m.i.l, sis.i.l & her H, gave GD a joint present from them all, just one, sounded nice, costing under £40 I would think, although my D didn't actually say as such but, I know she thought Is that it? It's their first GC/Niece.

As I've already said, I bought my GD about 8, main present; a big dolls house [I couldn't even lift it up, so heavy] , second furniture & folk to go in, so I would call that a 2part present [played with all day], then a cute onesy, [white choc snowman, choc Santa], a book that opened into a track that a little wined-up car went on [she loved that] an impulse last minute buy of a tea set with everything you could think of, I bought that last one as I'd already mentioned to my ND how GD would love one as she is always getting my cups & saucers out of my cupboard [now have clip-locks lol] and my ND asked me, just before Xmas if I'd got a tea-set, I hadn't, so when I saw it I got it as an extra gift, naughty . I bought 3 gifts each for my D & s.i.l plus calendar. I don't think that's a lot And yes I cleared up all the wrapping paper into the recycle bin and did the washing up

When my C were little they always had a mountain of presents at Xmas, it was great fun for them, and us watching them be opened, so Xmas tradition; lot's of presents. Very happy Christmas memories

But I do know you have to be very careful, I do always ask my D, but as we are very close I hope I do know what is and isn't acceptable. This GD is my third GC, the other 2 I have been cut out of their lives & that of my once beloved youngest D, by my GD stepdad & his mother, just through jealousy. Fifth Xmas without them

Sorry this is so long, obviously need to go back to work again lol

my sympathy, I bought lots for my dgd but my DD was ok about it but they do complain about the other gran who spends at least 50quid each week on usless presents.

the are for happygran

I did buy my DGD some chocs as well but I gave them before Christmas otherwise I may have eaten them myself.

Thank you very much etheltbags1, very kind of you. X

That's a shame Happygran. I tend to buy one toy for each GC after consulting the parents. There are other things too, from the jojo catalogue that my D and DIL pour over with me, but I don't go off on a buying spree on my own.

I remember being a young parent, and wondering where on earth I would put everything from the generous grandparents, so now I follow their suggestions.

Please don't send them Smarties just because you are miffed . A little communication will work in future I am sure.

My distant DGDs go to a lot of birthday parties throughout the year, being at the 'invite the whole class' age. They accumulate quite a lot of Stuff. Christmas with a generous family on my SiLs side means lots more Stuff.

In an effort to make room DD1 gave me a large box of assorted Lego and Duplo Lego just before Christmas as DGDs don't play with it at all and don't want it. In amongst it were six, SIX, unopened boxes! She's working up to persuading them to pass all the Playmobil onto the charity shop next. It's a big house but she's running out of space and the house is full of toys - only the kitchen is toy free.

OK, so the OP only gave eight presents, but if the other GPs gave eight and the parents gave eight - that's 24 before aunts and uncles get a look in. And she doesn't say if it was eight presents for each child, in which case...... Her poor son might have cause to have lost his rag if he found he was drowning in childrens Stuff.

The OP did actually say she bought eight presents for each of the two children.

Yea I happily bought 8 presents each, quite small in size though and that was very restrained for me.

Sooo, if everyone in the immediate family did the same they would have had 48 presents in all of varying sizes - plus those from the extended family. This on top of birthday presents (and parties are big business these days).

Are you getting my drift? How big is your son's house?

It's really all relevant to the circumstances though. I bought my DGS 8 presents averaging £25 a present and also gave my daughter money before Xmas towards the presents she bought him. But she is a single parent, only working part time and I have been lucky enough to have had quite a lot of work this year on top of my pension. My sister couldn't even be bothered to pop a fiver into a card for her only grand nephew, and my ex husband gave him money. His father doesn't celebrate Xmas, he didn't even send a Birthday card let alone a present, and the GPs on that side are in Afghanistan, my GS has never met them. The only other Xmas present he got was from my present partner's daughter. Not every child has a large extended family.

I knew most of the presents would be cast aside in order to get to the one he specifically asked for - 2 Lego Dimension packs, but that the others would be returned to after Xmas. Those ones will stay in my house for when he is with me and a week on, he has already gone back to them and yesterday we had a great afternoon putting together 2 Lego Ninjago sets. I think of Xmas presents as an investment for ways to occupy him over the next year.

I feel the OP has had a tough time on here, she bought with love for her DGCs. I think I would have put all the presents into a large box for each child to make one present each for opening, but I feel for her. I think it is probably more difficult buying for children of a DS and DIL, than a DD, everything I buy is discussed with my DD first.

I have read most of this thread and find some of the comments very interesting.

I remember over 30 years ago when my DD was 18 months old we spent Christmas with PIL and DD spent the whole of Xmas Day opening a huge pile of presents from PIL. MIL had said she was getting a toy pram (with doll) for DD and when all the gifts had been unwrapped MIL announced oh no we have forgotten the main present! The toy pram had already been unwrapped so I was a bit surprised - MIL then produced a cot with a teddy bear for DD.

All our gifts had been pushed unopened to one side.
I was hurt by this, and DD opened our gifts on Boxing Day.

We were not allowed to leave any of the gifts with PIL to use on our next visit (we lived 100 miles away). The car was stuffed full with toys.

The number of gifts from MIL?

23 I wrote a list. Of course we said thank you, time and time again.

But MIL never gave DD a cuddle or a kiss.

Nfk, their house is quite big, four bedrooms, open-planned, not sure why that's relevant really?
They have another granny who gives them money and apart from my other children who give them either money or a present that's it, so they were in no way inundated with gifts. Oh I forgot, my sister gave them a couple of small books too.

We had the same problem Chocpudding. My in laws (lovely, kind people) always gave a pile of gifts at Christmas. My husband was out of work so our gifts were adequate but not expensive, nor were there many of them. I remember feeling quite hurt that they hadn't realised how we would feel. My own parents stopped coming for Christmas because they too felt embarrassed as they couldn't compete in the gift giving stakes either.

I never realised that there was a hierarchy amongst gift giving or that it was such a minefield! In our family we say that all the gifts are from Santa and the children have no idea, or interest in, from whence they came!

Lindylou, thank you for your kind words. X

OP, what did you buy?
Because the problem with grandparents, and in so sorry that this will sound harsh, is that it is often tat and duplication.

There is a letter in the January edition of the Oldie magazine that suggests that children should not be given anything at Christmas, on the grounds that they are spoiled with treats the entire year round.
Instead, all gifts should be given to the adults who work themselves stupid to provide for said children

We always did a stocking (well, a sack) from Father Christmas then the presents under the tree were from everyone else, so they knew who to write their thank you letters to.

DS and DIL do the same and DD and SIL do that too and the DGC send out their thank yous.