Anxiety/OCD

I am so sorry Deny. May I ask? is your anxiety caused by your OCD or OCD caused by the anxiety?

I'm sorry too Deny, knowing a couple of people very well who have OCD and a relative with a general anxiety disorder.
Sounds like you're doing well by acknowledging and dealing with the problem. I would suggest seeing your GP again for further advice. Maybe another course of cognitive behavioural therapy, or a self help group. Near me there is a support group for sufferers, for example.
These mental problems are as disabling as physical ailments as I'm sure you know. Wishing you strength and courage. x

Sorry I can't help. I'm one of those who say 'just do it' the solution is in your own hands.

That doesn't mean I am unsympathetic towards your feelings of anxiety.

'Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway' is a book which helped a friend through debilitating OCD and inability to leave home. He also attended a Nerve Hospital and became interested in Buddhism. Friends thought his pitiable condition would never improve.

A few days ago I gave a copy of the book to oldest DGD who has anxiety issues which are making her life difficult, I hope she'll give it a chance. Tomorrow she has (at last) her first NHS therapy session, I just hope she'll get there.

Would it help to articulate what it is you fear exactly? Is it about being judged if you dont mind me asking? Or not being perfect?

Anniebach, my OCD causes my anxiety............

Ankers, it is a contamination fear, as well as perfection. I feel out of control in social situations and I start to feel ill and then I get scared of feeling ill. It's too much to explain in detail, but I'm just so fed up with it. My husband said today that we should invite a couple around for dinner as they invited us to theirs, even though I was very anxious, I did go. I told him that this is where I find it extremely difficult in having people in my home. I can't relax as I worry about what they are thinking, about them using my toilet and sink (I know it sounds crazy, but the fear is real), if they drink too much and are then sick - I have a terrible fear of this.....I feel dizzy, can't breathe, feel sick and then am scared in case I am sick as this is my fear.....it just goes on and on.
Sorry to go on as I am sure it is difficult to understand..........

Thanks to you and everyone for their comments. x

Deny, I realy do understand , it's a vicious circle , I have been in that circle , you can get out of it , please don't think of it as a life sentence ,it isn't . You need to look for the weakest link in the circle and start there .

Please remember - it is not crazy , you can work through it

It is difficult to understand Deny but you've painted a very graphic picture of your feelings.

There must be someone, somewhere who can help you with this.

Perhaps you need to trace the origin of this awful fear.

X

I have the same problem Deny. The only thing I can suggest is you do the most that you can. Rather than have family to stay for a few days, could you cope with an overnight. If not an overnight could you cope with a day visit.

I totally understand the germ thing. Sometimes I swear I can see them climbing up the walls ....well obviously not see them but it feels like they're there. I've found it helps to have some flash/Dettol wipes in the bathroom and when someone has used it I nip in quietly and give the sink a quick wipe over. Only takes a few seconds.

Other people's houses are hell. How long has that towel been in the bathroom? How many people have dried their hands on it? Did they store/cook the food properly?

And all that before I re-run every conversation when alone in bed. Did I say the right thing? Should I have agreed with them? What did they think about me?

It goes on and on.

Do not let people who say, 'It's up to you/Just get on with it/Pull yourself together/etc.' get to you. They simply don't understand what it's like to live with anxiety/OCD. If they did they wouldn't come out with such banal comments. We know it's in our hands and if we could just snap out of it we would but it's not that easy. We don't choose to live this way.

Thanks for your comments.

Vampirequeen - "We know it's in our hands and if we could just snap out of it we would but it's not that easy. We don't choose to live this way." - Oh so true!! x

Deny, I wonder if this might help? A friend practices it and another friend has benefitted after suffering for years, unable to socialise or travel. www.facebook.com/TapAwayTrauma

Best wishes

Saying the solution is in your own hands is far removed from saying just snap out of it.

But it does mean that if you want things to chance you have to be prepared to seek out help as help will not come knocking on your door.

If a person breaks their legs they have treatment and support but have to work at walking again themselves , little steps not marathons

I have terrible anxiety, ruins lots of things for me ..but sometimes I do manage better than others. Place a clean towel on the floor, put your anxieties on there and then wrap them carefully and place in a safe place.You have to think creatively for this to work but as your mind creates a lot of problems for you, it ought to create other things as well.

Leave well alone and get on with your life for a day or two.

You can by this method give yourself permission to come back to your worries so whatever motivates them is still there, you are just processing it differently.

Our concerns are triggered by something but acknowledging them and keeping them 'safe' can allow us some time off. Not easy. What do you have to lose from trying?

Fears are spiteful they rob us of so much. You deserve some respite, take it this Christmas.

Best wishes and sending strength your way.....

I know a person who is a perfectionist. She started not to be when a doctor told her that trying to be perfect isnt actually perfect as that is not realistic.

Deny you may like to read How to master Anxiety by Joe griffin and Ivan Tyrrell with Denise Winn ISBN 1-899398 81 3

I think if you read it you will find some helpful strategies.

Have a good Christmas and Happy new Year.

The part about what people are thinking.

I have discovered that what we can think of as our weaknesses, people often dont judge us for those.
But sometimes what they do judge us for,we are not bothered about.

My daughter is a sufferer too. She was having such bad panic attacks the other day that I had to stay the night. She knows the triggers but sometimes cannot avoid them.
Have you heard of this blog site which has a book for sale too? I saw the writer on TV a while ago. She has learnt to conquer her anxiety , which was even preventing her from planning her wedding.

weallmadhere.com/

weallmadhere.com/2016/07/03/mental-health-cushion/
The site in my previous post mentions this cushion in the Product review section. DD has a birthday coming up so I have ordered one for her as I have noticed that she likes to stroke something with texture when having a panic attack. Worth a try!

Deny I have exactly the same problem, it makes life so difficult. I used to try and keep it a secret, now I tell everyone and surprisingly I have not only received support from others but also people have told me the same fears, we really are not alone. Now when I leave the house I imagine that at least 40% of others are feeling the same, I look around and think if others can do things then so can I. I have a new year promise to me, I am going to write a diary and force myself to do one challenge a week. I have received counselling and Citalopram but ultimately it is a battle of who is going to win, me or it. I have had enough, 20 plus years, and sick of it ruining everything. Good luck Deny, none of us deserve to live like this x

Be strong and imagine other people battle too.

Deny I am really going through it at the moment. The anxiety in my head is like a ball of wool unravelling. I have no control. Only helpful thing I have found is talking to someone. Inevitably it is the Samaritans as Mental Health help lines are only open for a few hours and generally engaged when I am in the middle of a panic. Mental heath is still frowned upon unfortunately. There are so many people suffering. Thanks for the book title will order immediately.

I recommend that you discuss with your GP the option of one of the modern antidepressants that are licenced for anxiety and OCD. They can be lifechanging, sweeping away symptoms and giving the user the social freedom they didn't have.

Hi
Thank you again for all the info and support.
I will try these things too.

Have a lovely Christmas and New Year to all.

x