Nativity play invite

I was at eldest DGS's Christmas concert. Not a nativity, only each class coming on and singing two popular Christmas songs - not a carol in sight. DD was very glad that I was there, as DGD, aged three, was not for sitting quietly, and had to be removed quite early on, leaving only myself to be 'there' for DGS. Two performances for each half of the school, and no ticket allocation.

I managed to see all three DGC in their plays this year. One traditional nativity at the twins church school where one was a star and one a King ,who lost his hat walking the " long journey " round the school hall to find the baby Jesus . The star sang her and everybody else's lines with great gusto . The other DGD was also a star in a Father Christmas story . It was her first performance and I fully expected her to be very shy and throw a wobbly . But she blossomed and twinkled beautifully. Loved it all ??

Just thought I would let you know that I understand exactly how you feel. When my first DGD was born, my H and I were both so happy, glad to do anything we could to help. We are older grandparents (in our 70's) but we still looked after GD for a full day a week at first to give DIL a break and then two days when she wanted to return to work. She said she appreciated this and we said all we ask is that we be included in Christmas concerts, sports days etc. where GPs can attend. When GD started pre-school we waited for an invitation. It didn't come so I asked when the Nativity play was and her reply was "Oh, they are not having one this year" which I thought was odd but thought no more about it. My S knew nothing of this and called in a few days later and as he was leaving he showed me some photos on his phone of, you have guessed it, the Nativity with my gorgeous little gd as an angel. I cried. All I can say is I think you will have to do what I have done and steel yourself against these disappointments, it is just so hurtful and I think in my case the lie was the worse part. It probably has nothing to do with your S, it will most likely be his wife. I do send you good wishes and hope next year will be different for you.

Oh dear, Sylvie1. How sad for you.

My Lovely DIL was so upset yesterday , she had been told two tickets per child allowed for the concert , she has 2 children at the same school but when she went to collect the tickets was told "sorry they have all gone " ! What is going on in schools these days !! My son listed all the events this month for which they have been required to pay money , it is never ending apparently . The one that got me was £6 each to have lunch with Father Christmas , usual school lunch already paid for but FC is in attendance . My DIL is a feisty girl normally but doesn`t want to rock the boat for her children by kicking up a fuss .

f77ms that's appalling. I hope your DIL and other parents are going to make a fuss. Apart from the ticket issue, charging to see FC is disgraceful! As you say the meal is already paid for, so what was the payment for?
How awful for the children whose parents could not afford the extra! How were they made to feel? Did they eat elsewhere?

I would be writing to the school governing body to ask some questions.

f77ms that is disgraceful on both fronts. Can you persuade your daughter to complain firstly to the parent governor?

I'm not sure it's even legal to change for FC if he's just in attendance during normal school dinners.

Sylvie1 That is hard and very hurtful and I do understand how you feel as that is the same sort of situation as I find myself. We have always helped out and been willing to give our DiL a break etc ....but for whatever reason she struggles to share the special things as you describe. If any sort of child care is needed I will be asked, if not then I am excluded. So when extra tickets are offered for the nativity play I am not given one! I don't think my son is aware of many of the things that happen and I try to avoid causing a problem as I would never want to come between them I just wish I could understand why sharing these experiences is so difficult. My own children loved it when either set of Grandparents could attend anything they were doing!

Just to update , My DIL has phoned the Head teacher and given him a piece of her mind ( politely)! She will make a complaint to the governors after Christmas . To be told that two tickets were to be allocated for each child then finding that they were on a first come first served basis she is a little concerned that the Head teacher does not understand the term `allocated` she said .