Are you doing EXACTLY what you want at Christmas?

radicalnan ? After a stressful few months involving one of my DS's marital problems we will wake up to an empty house on Christmas morning - bliss! Never thought I would hear myself say that. Dinner at DD's then home to the dog who wil need a walk. Family staying from 27th but I will have re-charged my batteries by then.

Christmas day we spend on our own and its lovely. Then son and family come boxing day and thats lovely too. My Christmases' are perfect.
I am very lucky

I have been badly let down by Brad Pitt and frankly cannot believe that he and Aiden Turner, Sean Bean and Russell Brad all had previous engagements. Me and Ernie (the dog) again

DGS (2 years) had a hernia operation this week, which could have been serious, adhering to the bowel, but it wasn't, and he is fine. I had an op two weeks ago for breast cancer and the prognosis is very good, radiotherapy in the New Year, but no chemo. So no matter what Christmas is like, I'm just pretty damn glad to be alive - ho ho ho

Tapas and aperos with Polish friends on 24th then on to French friends for enormous blowout Reveillon. German friends here on Christmas Day when we will share work and cost. Mulled wine and nibbles here on Sunday for marauding hordes. Joy on 26th DD,DSiL, DGS and DGD arrive for a week. Just wish DS, DDiL and eldest DGD could be here too.

So very international and not everything loaded on me which it always was for many,many years.

Have a great Christmas everyone, whatever you decide to do.

Mine will be just how I like it, DD's Christmas morning (brilliant as I only live 10 miles away now & DVLA are letting me drive this year!!!!), Lunch & leave at 3.00 on DD's request. Evening is Drinks at neighbours.

Rest of Festive period I will please myself - a luxury now I'm on my own although I will miss DH to share this with & previous large Boxing Day get together with all Family. However being an only child, widowed & only 1 DD does have it's compensations

Just visited DM who is 300 miles away - she will be "home alone" again but at 87 doesn't want to travel, her Lunch is already planned - very luxurious (not my taste) & she's already got her Presents from me & DD

Happiness is all about expectations and managing them, From past experience and from gleaning others' views such as those posted on Gransnet I generally expect Christmas to be awkward, inconvenient, a source of quarrels and dissatisfaction, a nurturer of colds, overindulgence and illness. People will be tired, selfish, disappointed, hungover, grumpy and sniffly.

Despite this I look forward to it and to being with my family for some part of the holidays. I am giving way to others' requirements for some of it and am shifting 'my' days to those other than Christmas Day itself. I have to cater for Christmas, a big milestone birthday, a New Year and a surprise party. It is what it is. Happiness happens in the interstices of life and overcomes you when you are not expecting it.

Last year at Christmas my DH was undergoing invasive and frightening tests for prostate cancer and this year he isn't having been found clear of everything. That's a present in itself.

That said, I bet we have our 'moments'!

My Grandson is at his fathers every Boxing Day so I can only see him on Christmas Day so I will go to my DD however my DH has decided that he wants to go to his DD for Christmas Day this year he was invited for either day but wants to go Christmas Day if he had gone on Boxing Day we could have both gone as we have done in previous years. Up until 3 years ago when we downsized everyone used to come to us. I am disappointed that we won't be spending the day together and that I will not see any of my DHs family at Christmas, but if I go with him I won't see my DD or GS so no choice really. I'll just add that we all live quite far apart.

We are going away to a cottage and will not be celebrating Xmas but will be drinking lots of champagne. Just what we want to do

No I'm not doing exactly what I want. Ideally, both my children and their spouses and our DGS would be at our house having a big family Christmas. However, DS, his wife & son have flown out to the Canaries today for Christmas & DD & SIL are spending the festive period with his parents. So...DH & I are off to a hotel for 3 days. I'm sort of looking forward to it & sort of dreading it. It just won't be the same!

Yes, I'm having the family Christmas that I want. I'm glad that my SiL is still around and able to have Christmas with us. He might well have been called back to work on his ship. The DGC love having their daddy at home. I hope it will all be good.

So agree with grannyqueenie, sometimes think I would negotiate all aspects of this grandparenting lark with less worry if I had been part of a large family. There was always just the three of us, our children have married into huge, close and very animated families with their own traditions and systems. I sometimes feel as if I'm drowning and yes, a course in negotiating would have been and would still be so useful! Still, this Christmas will be absolutely fine, we have been thought about and included enough for us, it works out in the end so maybe I just need to quit worrying and let the others do the negotiating.

Can't decide whether I would like to toast my toes in front of a roaring fire in a small Cotswold hotel or toast all of me in a sunny hideaway!

We enjoy Christmas on our own, children and grandchildren all grown up now and doing their own thing. We will be joined this year by friends who can't get back to UK as he is in the middle of a course of chemo. Can't make up for them missing their family but they can relax without cooking etc.

grannyqueenie you raise an interesting point I hadn't thought about. Yes, life as an only child doesn't really equip us very well for large family occasions and sometimes we over compensate for that when hosting our own events. I'm so lucky to be surrounded by 10 or 12 family members in our house at Christmas, I run myself rugged and strive to make everyone else happy. Maybe if I'd come from a big family I'd have learnt how to ignore or accept the awkward behaviour that sometimes comes with a lot different personalities, instead of which I feel I'm going to be on tenterhooks waiting to smooth over any disagreements.

I was going to have Christmas on my own, with my pets, but my son put the emotional thumb screws on and so he has landed today, with some washing and no presents, as yet. He was emotional for about five minutes, then cracked a can and sat talking about himself then for the rest of the evening!

I will get snippets of time on my own, I'm at the doctors in the morning, (lucky me!) so that's an hour on my own. Then I might sneak off and have breakfast somewhere.

It's going to take some adjusting, treating him as an adult now with a life elsewhere. As long as he respects me and my space, then he'll be ok.

I gave him a card with one piece of currency in circulation now, amounting to £88.88. I told him it was all he was getting but, as normal, Father Christmas has got him a lovely gift or two, one of them being a 81 key keyboard and padded bag for him to take it back in. I hope he likes it. Another is Donald Trump toilet paper, he won't like that!

I'm doing my usual Christmas, which means me cooking for 3 DS, 2 DGD and this year son's girlfriend as well. I like seeing the children's excitement and it's nice that everyone wants to be with me but, having done Christmas dinner since 1979 when my mother died, I'd love to be invited somewhere else and not have to cook just once.

Several years ago SIL gave DH a bottle of Posser's Rum and they drank most of it between them after lunch. They both went to sleep and the rest of us spent the afternoon watching whatever we wanted on TV. Brilliant

Cave house in Spain with sky and wifi!!

Not exactly what we wanted, which was a cottage near the coast for DH, myself and the dogs (long walks on the beach, jacket potatoes and steak, a few visits to a pub). However, happy to have youngest son staying, and also my sister. Christmas dinner will still be the buon-traditional though - they have been warned!

I'm really happy with Christmas this year we are going to one daughter for Christmas dinner just 4 of us then late afternoon most of the grownup grand children and my other daughter are gathering at eldest Grandsons for our Secret Santa gifting and a buffet/tea it will be a madhouse and every time you vacate your seat someone else will jump in it
Boxing day we are at home just the 2 of us BLISS! The only thing I will miss is the little grandchildren and great grandchildren as one is abroad and the others are with their other families for Christmas.

No.

Not having Christmas here , we always have nice meals so don't feel the need to follow suit and have what most people consider to be the norm for Christmas. The only thing I will do differently is to take the day off work.

Yes! Everyone will be home with their respective families and I will be left in peace! I'm mulling over what kind of Christmas I want. My favoured option at the moment is a greasy pepperoni pizza and champagne for lunch while marathoning episodes of Frasier. One things is a cert - not a single brussel sprout will cross my threshold this month...

Exactly? Nope! Good enough? Oh yes. In fact probably the best it has been for some years. Wishing you all the best Christmas it can be.