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How friendly are you with your neighbours?

(51 Posts)
jordana Sat 12-Nov-16 11:46:15

I don't know my neighbours very well apart from either side of my house. With the dark mornings and nights I don't see them at all. I think because most couples work and usually have their own cars, they are up and out of the house quickly. Only in the summer do I see them in the gardens and they will have a quick word with me as they pass. I realise that my neighbours are lot younger than me and wonder if I needed help at any time, who I could ask and would they?

suzied Sat 12-Nov-16 21:44:59

Our road has a residents association, a Facebook page and an online forum. We have an annual summer barbecue and a bonfire party. We know most of the neighbours and have some close friends, go for meals , feed the cats, water the gardens,take in parcels , have a New Year's Eve party with etc. It's one of the reasons I am still here after 30 years! There are one or two miseries, but mostly everyone is really nice.

jordana Sat 12-Nov-16 22:35:34

I am glad so many of you have lovely neighbours. I'm afraid my street is not the same. I do look after next door cat when they are on holiday and the neighbours nearby give xmas cards but that suits me fine.

Skweek1 Sun 13-Nov-16 08:39:23

One side we have drug dealers, who we more or less ignore - just say hi in passing, the other is a young woman with two daughers 17 and 14( the elder was born when mum was 14). Initially we were great friends, we supported her when she had problems with Social Services and the girls (who I regard as honorary GDs) went into care for about a year. Then about 7 years ago things went really sour - I really don't know why. Still love the girls to bits but Mum has turned into a nasty vicious cow (sorry, farmyard animals - no offence!). The neighbours before this family were fantastic and we really miss them. We've been in this house for 20 years and just say to ourselves that eventually they'll either grow up, move out or we'll move out, so just live and let live.

Supersal52 Sun 13-Nov-16 08:50:04

Despite inviting my neighbour next door in for a cuppa many times, she has never accepted and in 5 years, I have never been invited back either. This is the most unfriendly road I have ever lived in sadly with people who seem very cool.

Soniah Sun 13-Nov-16 10:02:13

We lived I.n our previous village for thirty years and were very involved, we also had our children there and a dog so we knew most people and went to lots of village events. We have lived in our current house, 170 miles away,for 19months and have made the effort to get involved with groups again. We have met some lovely people and could rely on them if anything happened, also do pet care too,we have hosted the drama group party both summers we have been here, on a bring and share basis so it isn't too much work, which has been fun and I had a party recently to open my new studio (converted garage) and celebrate my sixtieth. I have met people in the village through the walking group, WI, drama group and so on but do miss people dropping in for a coffee, hope to rectify that soon when I get a bit more time by specific invites, just doesn't seem to be the culture here. Do love living here though and glad we made the move.

Lupin Sun 13-Nov-16 10:04:13

I downsized into an apartment earlier this year and found the neighbour thing very different. I lived in a close previously - houses built around a central flight of steps - neighbours moved in and out over the years, but we were friendly, helped each other when needed etc. We weren't in each others faces but had a get together now and then.
My apartment neighbours are polite but distant. The vibe I get is that is how they want it. However, if they needed help I would give it. I hope that I've been friendly enough and that they would ask me. If I needed help - well - I'd have to be desperate to ask. That's just me, but I would ask and take it from there.
I think your neighbours would help you if they could.

hulahoop Sun 13-Nov-16 10:49:53

My neighbours are friendly odd ones aren't we don't go in each other's homes a lot but when we were both ill bins were put out , offers to fetch shopping were there and I knew most of the m would be there if I needed them as we are for them most of them are retired now I would hate to have some of the horrible neighbours you read about . I sometimes think why not have a get together but worry no one would come !!

rozina Sun 13-Nov-16 11:11:00

Hello Jordana,

I feel a lot like yourself. I must admit all of my neighbours on this level are very nice, two flats in particular are helpful with sorting out workmen if I need them to and taking in parcels. Recently I told one of my neighbours I wouldn't be able to put rubbish out after I'd had a knee op for a while and they offered to do this for me. So no complaints. However, I don't feel I could ask them in for drinks etc. on a New Year's Eve as suggested on Gransnet. I live in a very small bedsit and have no partner, and the neighbours are so busy with relatives I feel they would say "no" to an invitation and that would probably upset me. The social element has gone out of neighbours now, when we would pass the time over the garden fence when hanging up washing!

Mumsy Sun 13-Nov-16 11:40:40

Im not and never will be!! I have a noisy male neighbour upstairs who moved in 6 months ago and Ive complained so many times to the point Im seriously considering moving!!
The other two in my block are lovely.

Craftycat Sun 13-Nov-16 13:34:48

Luckily most of our neighbours are very nice but we keep to ourselves mostly unless someone needs something then everyone rallies round- like snow clearing etc.We do have street parties when we all get together.We do have keys for each other with 2 sets of neighboursfor emergencies too.The young mums mix with each other a lot.
On one side of us are an elderly couple- a good bit older than us- & she is a total nightmare- so nosy & bossy & generally not nice. He is OK & very henpecked. I avoid her like the plague but on the occasions when they have needed help I have always been there. I just try not to have too much to do with them ( so does everyone else in the road). The other side are quiet & very nice.
I think good neighbours are there when needed & not too noticeable for the rest of the time- I'd hate someone always in & out as was the case with neighbours when I was a child- drove Mum mad!

Liz46 Sun 13-Nov-16 14:14:48

We have keys for two lots of neighbours and look after their houses and plants when they go on holiday.
Our neighbour puts out the bins for us when he does his own and we return them both later.
Everyone is quite friendly but don't often go into each others houses to socialise. We all take in parcels for each other.

glammanana Sun 13-Nov-16 14:15:37

We know all our neighbours on our small supported housing development all are very friendly but un-intrusive there are only 4 couples out of 16 apartments the rest all being either single ladies or gents,we all get together at Christmas when I organise a Christmas Lunch at a local pub for us and during the summer we have gatherings in the gardens when everyone brings a plate of food and bottle or two or pots of tea we get along well and always able to help each other if need be,we do have one really needy lady but you will always find one where ever you go won't you.?

henetha Sun 13-Nov-16 14:22:11

As I explained recently, I live in a Park Home. So most of us know our neighbours. But we do respect each other's privacy and some prefer to keep to themselves. Most of us however are very friendly, and our residents assocation ensures that there is always something to do.
I think it's a bit different for young families with busy lives, I can understand that there isn't always time to be sociable.
My actual neighbours near me are all really lovely. I am so lucky.

Penstemmon Sun 13-Nov-16 15:30:31

Our old house is set back from the road with old houses in front of us with a small new development next to us which is our vehicle access. I only have one direct neighbour, Sally. She must be in her late 70s or early 80s. She is lovely and we chat when we see one another. We have helped her change light bulbs etc. & she particularly likes a chat at election and referendum times as she knows we share a similar political perspective! She avoids coming in for a cuppa though. sad I speak to another young couple in the new development, who have bought their house and also a young mum with two little boys who rents one of the homes & is around in the daytime.
A couple, whose garden backs onto ours, are friendly and active local Lib Dems and enthusiatic gardeners so we have seen them more out and about and they always chat too.
All of the other houses in the new development are let out, to commuters, so rarely see anyone! As nobody passes our house at all I have not got to know many inmmediate neighbours but know lots of people locally!

goldengirl Sun 13-Nov-16 16:01:07

I know my neighbours to say hallo to - well, some of them - and like others mentioned they do take in parcels for me and I do the same but that's it. I miss our little close of houses we used to live in when the children were small but luckily we still meet up two or three times a year. I think having small children helps break the ice with neighbours.

grannypiper Sun 13-Nov-16 16:28:28

Our village has approx 200 houses so nobody is a stranger. Some families have lived here for 3 or 4 generations some arrived a few months ago.Our elderly are looked after, nobody goes to a doctors or hospital appointment alone or on the bus or struggles to get to the lunch club. Our children constantly mix with their elders. Just the best place in the country to live.

grannypiper Sun 13-Nov-16 16:29:50

Oh but how we love a gossip smile

notanan Sun 13-Nov-16 17:04:20

Where do you live grannypiper generally?

I've lived places where everyone knew everyone
and anonomous inner cities

I find a middle ground best, the places where everyone knew everyone had all sorts going on: back stabbing, two-facedness, swinging/cheating/wife swapping LOL.. and also lots of good things and support in times of crises.. but I don't know if I'ld wanna move back to somewhere where everyone knows all of everyone else's business.. then again… the sense of community is great

Ameliaw Sun 13-Nov-16 18:15:47

When I was 30 and had just had my 2nd child, I went down with mumps, it was also Christmas Eve.

My new neighbours of 65 had just moved in and they didn't have their children close and we didn't have our parents. The woman became like my second Mum to me and like a Grandmother to the children although we didn't live in each other's pockets.

I broke my heart when she suddenly died aged 70. This is looking at it from the other angle, but young people need older people too. Good luck, I wish you lived by me. X

pollyparrot Sun 13-Nov-16 18:24:45

I have some lovely neighbours and some really unfriendly ones. There's no accounting for people.

clough1945 Sun 13-Nov-16 19:41:11

When I moved in 2 years ago I saw a lot of my neighbors but that has changed I only see them occasionally I wonder if I have done something to upset them.

grannypiper Sun 13-Nov-16 20:53:55

notanan, i live in S.W.Scotland it really is a very friendly place

Deedaa Sun 13-Nov-16 21:20:27

We have mainly middle aged neighbours. A young couple with a baby live next door to us (She is a teacher at GS1's school) and there are two families with young children. We aren't in and out of each other's houses but we all chat when we meet in the street. There is one total cow, but she's rude to everyone so we all ignore it.

Flowerofthewest Sun 13-Nov-16 23:07:39

Lovely young couple one side, bought house from rude, loud and grubby neighbours. So lovely to relax in garden without 4 barking, yapping and snarling dogs.
Other side lovely lady. We chat over fence. I lend her my DH to catch spiders even in small hours. She cares for our 3 cats when we are away. The best.

Barmyoldbat Mon 14-Nov-16 03:01:55

We get on really well with our young neighbours and their children and seem to have a lot in common with them. We help out by taking in parcels and give them room in our rubbish bins that we dont use, also taking stuff up up the tip etc. The young children are a delight and are always asking if we are doing anything im important they can help with. Another you couple nearby look after the house for us while we are away in the winter, he even replaced the fence when it came down in a storrm one year. We have people at the back who lean over the fence and chat and we feel we are so lucky knowing them all. Its one reason why I wouldn't move.