Sick of it already

I don't know you Shanma so I don't know anything about your life except what you have written but your post made me feel incredibly sad.

To treat Christmas Day as an ordinary day - god forbid doing the ironing ANY day but on Christmas Day? Its obviously a choice and it sounds like you enjoy it but it would not be for me.

I'm sorry it doesn't bring you any joy .May I ask - have you never celebrated it? I'm sure you're fine with it - you sound as though you are but I am off to count my blessings because if my Christmas Day ever became a normal day - for whatever reason- my heart would break.

N&G I could be wrong but it may be the only way that some people can get through the day without collapsing in a heap by treating it as a normal day.

I have a friend who used to live in London. I invited her here for Christmas lunch but she refused as she wanted to paint her bathroom or somewhere! Words did fail me but each to his own.

I think there are quite a few on GN who will not be celebrating Christmas Day, or will be doing their best to 'celebrate' by themselves, and feeling lonely.

There will be memories of happier Christmases for some, I'm sure, which will make this day even more poignant.

I'm sure for many it is heartbreaking N&G and I'm thinking that they might find it hard to post on this thread and admit to their loneliness. Nobody wants to rain on others' parade but it is brave of someone to put their head above the parapet. Reasons for not explaining may be too painful or a person may simply not feel able or want to put their reasons into words on a public forum.

You could be right Charley and if so that's immensely sad .... even if not for them , I feel for them.

I don't disagree Anya and didn't ask for or expect an explanation . I only wondered if that was how the OP had always felt . Personally , I'd like to scoop up all the lonely people and invite them round .

I know some people choose to be alone, my Mum in her later years was one who didn't like the noise and fuss.

I used to enjoy Christmas but what put me off it most was the last few years at work. I was always exhausted from my job and all the extra work Christmas entails was just too much - I'd be stressed before and feel ill from exhaustion afterwards. It is nice to see the DGCs enjoy it so much but even though retired now, it's still tiring and expensive. I don't know how to get back into enjoying it as I used to. Any suggestions from those who like Christmas?

Yes.....do less.If it's going to be stressful, then don't ask people to come round for meals, ask them to come for coffee and a mince pie and a chat instead.Go out for a meal if you can afford it.Give simple presents, and keep decorations minimal but nice.
Buy and wrap presents and write cards early, so they are all ready and waiting.Above all, don't worry if your 'Christmas' isnt perfect, and keep a bottle of Baileys to hand.Enjoy!

Some people don't like Christmas, some just don't like any special days or parties or fuss, and that's their prerogative. I absolutely love the whole Christmas season and always go way over the top with food, decorations, games etc. Which is probably why DH's aunt spent three Christmas Days with us then announced she would go to the Salvation Army do in future as she couldn't stand the noise at ours. And so she did!

I absolutely love Christmas - but with nostalgia - the simple Christmases of my childhood that began with advent early December.

Totally hate the massively long run up to Christmas in the UK and USA- and the masssive commercialisation of it. Just visiting a shopping Mall/centre in the run up, with synthetic americanised 'Crimbo' music makes me want to flee and hide.

Wash your mouth out with soap and water granjura as you said that awful word Crimbo!

I used to love all the Christmas preparation when the children were small. Then life changed and I found all the pre Christmas hype unbearable. 3 months of feeling miserable so I went right away to another part of the world. Then a couple of years ago life turned again quite suddenly and I found myself having to put Christmas together in 3 days. That was fun. So that's how I do it now. Go away, ignore, one mad rush at the end.

I agree with rosesarered ( again ) if you are finding Christmas stressful don't overdo things. Explain to your family and friends you are having a more low key celebration this year. A glass of wine and a mince pie is a good way to enjoy a relaxing time with friends. Lots of lovely Christmas food in the shops no need to make it all yourself. I once passed a whole Christmas meal off as all my own work when in fact it came from M & S, how bad was that.

As vampirequeen said it's not a good time for everyone but when is? Certain days have good or bad memories for all of us; my own bad days are New Year's Eve and Whit Monday.

However, I do believe the commercialism starts far too early, particularly for parents on low incomes faced with unrealistic 'requests' from children. I think there's a certain amount of 'one-upmanship' in school playgrounds, as in 'What are you getting?/What did you get?'

The pagan celebrations were adapted by the early Christians to suit their beliefs and future generations may well say we've reversed that with the emphasis on eat, drink and be merry. I have more difficulty each year finding religious cards for certain friends.

I think I've posted elsewhere on GN that I will be on my own this year and that's ok with me. I chose to be alone on a previous Christmas due to work and travel restrictions, and that was ok too, although I think my mother and sister spent too much time worrying about me!

Did you know there is a shop near London Bridge that purely sells Christmas decorations etc all year?

Nana and Grampy.
I wouldn't say I ENJOY Ironing, I don't mind it though, it was just an example of how normal Christmas Day will be for me. I just don't get that it makes any difference. You asked if I ever celebrated it. yes I did when my Son was young, and obviously he had friends coming in to play so it was nice for them to see the tree etc. I always made a cake too every year. Things move on, there is no need for a cake now, it would waste. I cannot see the point of putting up decorations for just the two of us. I know some on here have said they do that even when they are alone. I am not knocking that at all, one has to do what feels right for oneself.

I guess one thing which annoys me about Christmas, and I really do NOT intend to upset or offend anyone by saying this, it is just how I feel...I hear people saying things like..." Oh dear he/she died, what a shame at Christmas time too"...PLEASE what the hell difference is that, if someone dies or gets ill or whatever I see that as a shame anytime, Christmas wouldn't matter a jot, I hope you can all see where I am coming from with this?

Shanna Re your latest post I can see where you are coming from if Christmas is not a special time for you but for others for whom it is special it is bound to add additional poignancy when something awful happens at such a time. As you say, it is always sad.
Whilst it doesn't need to be Christmas to have a get together it is often the only time people are all free and the one time the efforts will be made. Until so many of our family died or got too old we also had a summer meet up which we all enjoyed. This could last for anything between a day or a fortnight and depended on how each family member felt - or what they could cope with!

I'm totally at one with the post written by mumofmadboys

Our own Christmas efforts are very much less than they once were when we were fit and able. We just do what we can and often other friends or family members add their contributions and enhance our efforts which is really helpful. Sometimes we have a house full and everyone who wants to come brings a contribution towards the meals we share and it has always turned out to be really good and enjoyed by all. If you cannot do much it doesn't seem to matter somehow as things do get done somehow! However exhausted we may be we are always glad that we made our efforts and are always surprised at how little we have been .led on by commercialism as we all keep our spending down because there is no need to overdo anything.

It is interesting how much 'Christmas Past' influences what people do and even how they feel about 'Christmas Present'.

Sorry Shanma but my auto correct prefers two 'n's and I am not firing on all cylinders so didn't notice!