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taking shoes off

(235 Posts)
Bobbin Fri 04-Nov-16 13:41:39

The other day, my DH and I went for dinner at a friend's house with two other couples, so eight of us in total. They're fairly new friends as we've not long moved to the area, so it was the first time we'd visited their home.

It was a nice dinner party, so I wore a nice pair of shoes, tights and a dress. Then when I got there, my friend asked us both to take our shoes off and we went padding about in stocking feet (well, me anyway grin) as did the other couples.

my questio is, do you make guests take their shoes off if you're hosting something similar?

pollyputthekettleon Sat 05-Nov-16 21:53:43

It's the height of rudeness to tramp road dirt & possibly dog shit & god knows what else through someone else's house. Nothing to do with carpet colour. I & my family & friends always remove shoes. I expect others to show the same courtesy. I wouldn't ask guests to remove their shoes but if they don't I wouldn't invite them back

Anya Sat 05-Nov-16 21:55:33

Yes Hilary I agree that there are interesting view points and very different ones. I don't suppose people will change their opinion (and why should they?) as a result of this thread but interesting to note the differing attitudes and reasoning behind them. Quite eye opening in fact.

Penstemmon Sat 05-Nov-16 23:47:39

Visitors taking shoes off sound very Mrs Bucket! We all laughed at her ridiculous OTT pretentions and misreading of good etiquette hmm

Shanma Sat 05-Nov-16 23:51:28

Mrs Bucket. yes funny . Nothing funny about People walking into my house with their shoes on. Inconsiderate, selfish, and rude. I am with Polly on that one about not inviting them again, but I would actually ask them to remove them, anyway as I already said I only have Family in here and they do take off their shoes.

Madmeg Sun 06-Nov-16 00:44:39

SIL's family take theirs off so DD expects the same. I always have cold feet so I take slippers. I would NEVER ask a visitor to mine to take shoes off unless they were clearly dirty. Yes, we have a pale-ish carpet but dried mud brushes off easily and I'd rather people were comfortable coming here.

SueDonim Sun 06-Nov-16 01:07:38

We remove our shoes in this house but I don't have any hard and fast rules for visitors. Most people are pretty thoughtful and will ask, though the Tesco delivery man never offers to take his shoes off! grin I don't like being barefoot so will take soft mules with me when I go to other people's houses, just in case.

I do know someone who has special slippers for going to the lavatory so no nasties are trekked out from the bathroom into other rooms!

pollyputthekettleon Sun 06-Nov-16 01:10:21

I'd be happy with mud, Madmeg. It's DIRT that bothers me. Have you looked at the state of our pavements recently? I wouldn't want a toddler picking bits of animal waste which have rubbed off the bottom of shoes & putting it in their mouths. What about toxicara canis? Yeucchhh. It's simple hygiene. On carpeted floors especially, it's a no-no. I'm amazed people are happy to expose their g/c to this risk.

Daisyboots Sun 06-Nov-16 01:36:36

All I can say is thank goodness I live abroad and most houses have tiled floors and no germridden carpets around. Friends are welcomed and no shoes need to be removed. A quick mop over and the floors are clean.

Zandra01 Sun 06-Nov-16 03:04:03

The amount of spit, gum and dog poo outside. Sometimes it is more to do with being hygienic.

Elssa21 Sun 06-Nov-16 06:35:59

Think it's safer to keep shoes on in our house - rural living and dogs. ?

One of my aunts who is terribly house proud not only asks you to remove your shoes but you also have to place them with the soles facing upwards? That is extreme!

absent Sun 06-Nov-16 06:46:25

I live in a country where it is traditional to remove your shoes before you enter someone's house, as well as a variety of other buildings. As I have always suffered from self-diagnosed claustrophobia of the toes, I love it.

thatbags Sun 06-Nov-16 08:16:58

In a cold climate and an old house we do take off our outdoor shoes, but those of us with cold feet put indoor shoes on instead (plus two pairs of thick socks). My mother grew up in an even colder house and her mother always told the children to put their shoes on as soon as they got out of bed. They didn't have the luxury of slippers, let alone all over house heating.

This (warmth), plus light coloured carpets, is really what the taking shoes off fashion is all about. Going barefoot probably is better for feet when they can be kept warm enough. My kids all went barefoot most of the time, until they started to feel the cold as adults.

absent, I've never had a problem with claustrophobic toes but then I've always insisted on footwear with plenty of toe wriggle room. Most women's fashion footwear is therefore, and always has been, decidedly unsuitable and avoided.

Penstemmon Sun 06-Nov-16 09:41:45

I am surprised so many people survive after visiting my apparently dirty house because of all the faeces,gum and spittle waiting to infect them from my floors. Anyone hot the statistics or illness/death from dirt on residential floors?? confused

Penstemmon Sun 06-Nov-16 09:42:13

Got..not hot!

Maranta Sun 06-Nov-16 10:15:33

I think if your house is warm enough to walk with bare feet on solid floors, then the heating is turned up too high. Think of the planet.

merlotgran Sun 06-Nov-16 10:30:02

pollyputhtekettleon, does a strict 'no shoe' rule apply to everyone? What about a doctor and surely plumbers or electricians wear safety shoes so are probably not allowed to remove them due to H&S regs?

pollyputthekettleon Sun 06-Nov-16 14:10:46

My GP took his shoes off without asking, so does the plumber. Probably because they can see our outdoor shoes lined up next to the door on a rug kept for the purpose! I don't think it's an uncommon practice. You wouldn't put your shoes on the sofa so why on the carpet?

notanan Sun 06-Nov-16 14:24:52

I have to remember to say "please-there's no need to take your shoes off"

That would make me wonder if they wanted the visit to be over soon and didn't want me to feel comfortable, bit like saying "don't bother to take your coat off you'll be leaving in a minute"

notanan Sun 06-Nov-16 14:28:11

Also agree with the PP who said it's better for your feet. I think its weird and unnatural and probably bad for your muscular-skeletal system to wear shoes when you don't need to because you're in a house! (I know there's exceptions like diabetes etc, but for normal feet it's good for them to be bare or in socks as much as possible)

Ana Sun 06-Nov-16 14:29:59

But some people don't feel comfortable with no shoes on, especially in other people's houses!

notanan Sun 06-Nov-16 14:40:32

But some people don't feel comfortable with no shoes on, especially in other people's houses!

I find that quite sad/unnatural. I know that the likes of Clarkes convinced a generation that feet NEED "support", when in fact the opposite is true for healthy development of feet/bones, but shoes really should only be worn when they're needed to protect from elements/hazards normally

Maranta Sun 06-Nov-16 15:23:27

I know someone who is very embarrassed by having to take his shoes off in public. He has a very deformed foot and while just about able to wear normal shoes with inserts, it is very noticable just in socks.

Ana Sun 06-Nov-16 15:31:58

I find that quite sad/unnatural

That's as may be, but shouldn't your guests' comfort be more important than how you feel?

Jane10 Sun 06-Nov-16 15:37:31

Quite right Ana!

notanan Sun 06-Nov-16 15:45:10

That's as may be, but shouldn't your guests' comfort be more important than how you feel?

Here we go again Ana, I did say that I don't ask guests to take their shoes off, but you go ahead and make things up about me anyway! I never make anyone take their shoes off but if you want to believe I do just because I disagree with you about shoes indoors being normal, fine!

90% take shoes off without being asked, I'ld say only around 10% of guests leave them on and I don't ask them to do otherwise, however I do find people leaving them on quite a formal and unfriendly thing to do, it's a bit like leaving your coat on and declining to sit down - gives the message that they can't wait to leave