Family christmas

I read your post and felt anxious. You are anxious. You are taking on a lot with a fragile DIL, mmmm.
But at least if the place is a disaster YOU didn't book it, so that is one for the bright side.
You can't make everyone happy. You can try, but in the process you can make yourself unhappy. Dirt is 'not end of the world' stuff.

So I think you should try and relax and keep away from the kitchen, take your own rubber gloves, Dettol Mould and Mildew remover, scourer and just clean up as necessary to make you happy.

You obviously cannot rush in and fall to the floor mopping, as your sensitive DIL will see it as critism of her choice. I wouldn't even mention your fears to your son. He is bound to go back and say to his wife ' my Mother said' That will be the end of you and next year no Christmas invitation will be forthcoming.
Be philosophical...what do you want? To see your Grandchildren with dirt? Or see no one and you sit alone in a pristine place?

Have you tried airbnb? We managed to find quite a lot of good places at short notice last Christmas. It might be worth a look.

Thank you Mrs Peacock what a lovely post. I have calmed down and am sure that it will be resolved one way or another before we arrive. Christmas is such an emotional time and sometimes we have unrealistic expectations don't we. It can be sad and poignant especially remembering loss or if we are spending it alone. My sons lost their father at an early age at Christmas time so I always want to make the holiday as comfortable as possible for us. However, I must count my blessings as we will be together and that is what matters. I am blessed and am very lucky. For anyone who will be alone or lonely for the holiday I hope it will be manageable. x

Well as a holiday cottage owner I would say that it is the responsibility of the booking agent to ensure your rented property is clean and tidy. We have two holiday lets and in one we employ a cleaning lady and we do the other one ourselves. Ours are clean/ tidy and always have fresh flowers in plus pint of milk in fridge and welcome letter. I agree that some of these revue sites are not helpful, BUT if the reviews are consistently bad then it needs looking at. I wonder did your DIL read the reviews? I so understand your difficulty, on the one hand you don't want to upset her BUT you too should be able to look forward to a relaxing Christmas. Can you have a quiet word with your son? Surely your DIL doesn't want to upset YOU ? Perhaps your son could phone the holiday letting company to express his concern and say he doesn't want his wife or his Mum to have to clean over Christmas? I would say go, but - and this could be tough- if you got there and find it needs cleaning then just do the basics, don't say a word, you won't need to. But don't rush about cleaning, sit back and have G n T or whatever, smile sweetly sort of step over the mess and let your son and DIL clean it. If they booked it and didn't read the reviews then may be the responsibility is theirs! However, IF no one phones the letting agent before you all go (could your son do that on the quiet )? Then when you arrive and if it's not clean don't say much just a nicely timed" oh dear" will be enough. Sometimes silence is more powerful than words! The owners should have a contact number in the property someone should call them straight away. Really you shouldn't be worrying about this. But it's only four days then home, I would sit back and let then cook - offer to wash up/etc. You may need the odd lie down, you can be heard to say things like " it's so nice of DIL to cook Christmas lunch" while you drift off with a glass of wine. No one needs drama over Christmas, but you deserve a rest. Good luck x

That's a bit harsh Ilgf. Blueskies has already said she is happy to assume the role of Mrs. Mop in order to keep everyone happy. She comes across as a very caring GM with a busy but close family.
It is very sad that some people might be estranged from their family at Christmas, but bs was only asking for advice on how to avoid a potential problem.

Take some Sheen and a vacuum cleaner and stop causing a problem. It is nice that your family want to spend xmas with you. They have taken the trouble to find somewhere they think is suitable.

Have a look on the estraged thread, and see how lucky you are .

Ah Ruby eggnog, have to make my own now here in the UK.

We have a dog we take along, too, Lillie, I meant that the owners of properties often don't provide as nice soft furnishings when dogs are permitted because all pet owners aren't careful and of course these places are near woods, beaches, mud, etc. Fun for the dog especially! Hopefully that is changing as was our experience in our spring holiday. The furnishing they provided were easy to clean. I only noticed that sometime before, some previous guests had hidden away some blankets/throws they'd used without airing them or washing them. Or, who knows, maybe the housekeeper didn't notice and stowed them.

Love dogs... really really love my grand-dog, muddy paws and all!

We recently had a stay in some apartments in Hebburn, near Newcastle. I booked the apartment and THEN looked at reviews (I know, I know!) and the reviews made my heart stop. I was on the verge of cancelling, but as it was non refundable, we decided to give it a go, and decamp to a travelodge or similar if it was as bad as the reviews made out.

The property was beautiful. Yes, it was a bit tired and shabby, but it definitely wasn't dirty. I assume the owners had read the reviews and decide they had to do something to save their business. Whatever the reason, I am really pleased we didn't cancel.

I wouldn't do anything at all to rock the boat and upset your daughter in law, who will probably have gone to a lot of trouble to find anywhere suitable at short notice. The important thing is surely that you have your family Christmas. Get there early and make a game of a couple of hours of sozzled cleaning Rubylady style.

Are all the reviews bad? And are they recent? I always have to stop myself taking far too much notice of the few bad ones rather than the many good ones, and some people are prone to wild exaggeration. You'll see a photo of the solitary dog hair someone's found, with a headline proclaiming how it made them gag.

You say GS are within driving distance, would it be possible for them to arrange to have a look at the property and report back? How old are the reviews - if quite old the property may have changed hands.

Buy sleeping bags if you don't like the thought of using their bedding. And if people are coming and going on the day, do you have to do the traditional dinner? Maybe opt for something which can be heated through when others manage to get there?

It's more important to be together than the surroundings or the food, I think. But then I will have my first Christmas on my own, but that's my own choice this year. My DS and I will be celebrating together earlier in December.

Good suggestion about the eggnog rubylady - add in a couple of Dark and Stormies, a Bloody Mary or two and lots of mulled wine and you will neither notice nor care

Yes *Lewlew, we take one well behaved dog on holiday with us and I can tell you we scrub everything doubly clean and spray Febreze on the carpets. I think dog owners are often paranoid about giving themselves a bad name, so they go the extra mile to clean after them.

After re-reading... I sometimes think that owners who have dog-friendly properties make less effort to provide decent states of tidyness and furnishings.(Eg bedding/duvets, furniture coverings, etc) The place we just had in May was brand new almost and did accept the proverbial one well-behaved dog. But all was sparkling.

Maybe offer to pay for a cleaner that your son can book via the agency to get access before you arrive? If a small area, finding independent cleaners who do cottage rentals should be possible (just don't use the same one they use, you want a better job, ask for an alternate referral!)

Take your own bedding and towels so you feel more comfortable (and extra blankets). I must say the only doggy smell I found was on the throws and blankets which people must have used for the one-well-behaved dog and then they got tucked away in drawers instead of being washed or aired!

Take some lively Christmas music, some eggnog and have a Christmas cleaning party! Invite Mr. Muscle and Mr. Sheen. Take a tree with decs and get the children to do this while the grown ups clean, the children will remember it forever. Lots of fairy lights around the place and battery operated candles will make it look magical, and clean (in the dark). (It's how I do my tidying up, just dim the lights ).

Are you the one driving? If not, try to catch 40 winks in the car going or have a good sleep the day before, anything to get some more energy to have some fun with making the festive season enjoyable for all. You're a family, all muck in while you muck out!

Merry Christmas!!

blueskies In some parts of Wales there are very few self catering cottages - or if they are, they will be booked up. When relatives visit my area of Wales, they book into one of the cheap chain hotels.
I would do as others have suggested, clean as best you can for an hour, take lots of wipes, a few throws and your own bedlinen - its seeing family that might be important?

Just an idea.

blueskies Does your DIL have the same standards you do? If so then she may appreciate knowing about the reviews. If not, then maybe the price, location and property size were a bigger factor. Photos can be misleading.

BUT as others have said, the agency may be overseeing the total management and not the owner, so the DIL should contact the agency to be reassured that the place will be cleaned to the Wales Tourist Board standard (stars) which the property is rated.

I am only familiar with S Pembs properties, but the two agencies we have dealt with over the years are eager to have their properties reviewed well, or they have trouble letting their others! Usually a poor review, even in Trip Advisor, gets a reply by a responsible agency. Or the agency's site has reviews as well.

Good luck! xx

That's obviously why it's still available and all the others are booked up. Bookings are done easily good 10 months in advance to get what you want.Google cleaning companies in that area and explain to them and get a price to do a spring clean. You say relationship with DIL is fragile but surely she wouldn't want to stay in a dirty place either so why not tell her your offering to pay for a cleaner she may be very grateful.

Hope reviews are exaggerated like others have said take plenty wipes and have a laugh enjoy your family that's main thing ???

Ask the letting agent to pop round to the property to ensure all is ok for when you arrive (you could tell him you are concerned about the reviews, but don't make too big a thing about it !) .....then just leave it for your DIL to find out ...as someone said, if she could arrive first ....she may be surprised ! However, no one wants a family fall out at Christmas, so I would just laugh about it and enjoy the family get together ....it's not the end of the world and far worse things are happening ....and you are not alone at Christmas, so prepare for plenty of long walks to the local pub ....

My lovely (optimistic!) old dad used to say "we're not buying the bloody place" I think as long as you know there's going to be a bit of charring involved and you take your own pristine bedding and towels you should be fine..and i have to sat ma and pa often ended up with the best room in the place so have a laugh and trust to chance

Oh dear Blueskies - you are between a rock and a hard place with this dilemma. You said earlier that you'd discussed this already with your son and his response was that you'd all have to lump it. I would have hoped that he would talk to the agents about the reviews and insist on an inspection in time to remedy the situation. Your daughter -in-law seems to have lit the touch paper here. I'd stand well back if I were you.

Hopefully the owners/agents will have taken on board to negative reviews and cleaning will improve. Worth keeping an eye on most recent reviews to see if this is the case. Might also be worth asking DIL to contact owners/agents to say have seen these reviews and trust that this will not be the case for your trip? Good luck! It's a shame that because of this you can't totally look forward to your family Christmas

I like the ideas of getting a cleaner in, if necessary, while you are out, and eating out for Christmas dinner. A bit late to be booking now though. You do not want to upset your daughter in law, we all know where that leads to. Do not judge the property by what the reviews say. Some reviews are known to be false and written by rivals so be aware of that. Also, someone else' idea of 'filthy' might be over exaggerated in this world of 'compensation claims'. I would not mention cancelling, but I would mention the reviews and see what they think, but you will be treading on thin ice so choose your words carefully.

And they are actually cooking Christmas lunch there, as blueskies said in her last post!