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How will this work then?

(116 Posts)
NanaandGrampy Sun 16-Oct-16 15:29:36

www.ok.co.uk/celebrity-news/910667/russell-brand-admits-he-wants-to-bring-up-first-child-without-a-gender

Russell Grant has said he is considering bringing up his new baby without imposing a gender .

I personally have never heard such rubbish in my life but maybe I'm the one out of step?

This is way beyond not offering gender specific clothes or toys - what are your thoughts ?

Penstemmon Tue 18-Oct-16 18:57:22

My DGC know what sex they are but equally know they can choose to play with what ever toys/ games they want to, play any sport, music etc. and wear clothes they feel comfortable in and their sex does not determine this. They are of course still influenced by marketing/societal expectations but as a family we have offered a challenge to that. As many families do. However many people still channel children into stereotypical ways of thinking and behaving. Masses of research out there about the language used with boys/girls that guides them to think of themselves in certain ways. Look at the images and word on clothing marketed for boys/girls..it is all contributing to children thinking they should be 'pink' or 'blue' in life!

Im68Now Tue 18-Oct-16 11:59:47

My DS asked me when I stopped bathing him and his sister together, I said when you first spotted the difference, he was 17. joke

JackyB Tue 18-Oct-16 11:49:45

I wonder if he's read "The Wasp Factory" (excuses if this has been mentioned already. The thread has become rather long and repetitive and I haven't read it all through yet)

gillybob Tue 18-Oct-16 11:07:22

And on the whole I don't think that happens any longer jane. But having read the RB interviews (and going on his less than delightful past form) I don't think he just meant that he would be encouraging a positive identity regardless of the childs sex. There is one thing for certain a child of RB ( like all these other so called celebrities) are already 10 steps ahead in life by being born into the celebrity culture and massive amounts of money .

janeainsworth Tue 18-Oct-16 10:24:32

Gilly I don't think anyone is pretending there is no difference.
They just want children to experience life and realise their potential without being constrained by societal expectations which really belong in the last century and the one before that.

gillybob Tue 18-Oct-16 09:44:38

Exactly Ilovegoldfish .

I think it's fashionable to pretend there is no difference confused

Ilovegoldfish Mon 17-Oct-16 23:52:37

A boy is a boy, and a girl is a girl. If we don't know the difference the human race would die out.

Phoebes Mon 17-Oct-16 23:43:18

Don't forget that in the past all babies wore dresses until they were about 5! I used to get hand-me-downs from my male cousin, (clothes were in short supply after the war) but I never had any doubt that I was a girl!

Penstemmon Mon 17-Oct-16 21:34:47

Many parents try to avoid gender stereotyping and encourage their children to explore all kinds of interests /toys/ games/ clothes and not limit these to 'accepted norms'.
If that is what RB meant by gender neutral then all power to his elbow, when and if he becomes a parent.

If he means trying to avoid the child identifying as a boy/girl, he/she then that is a bit more tricky!

When about 7 or 8 my girls wore badges, that they made, saying 'Girls are Powerful' & Girls can do anything' grin

Shizam Mon 17-Oct-16 20:09:41

I find nothing wrong in this thought, if it is indeed true. Most children aim to please so if we give them a set of values, good or bad, that is what they live by. I remember my son pre-school saying he'd seen a Barbie on TV and that's what he wanted for Xmas. Few months later, he was at school and early peer pressure meant he never went near a doll again. Which I think is sad. Why shouldn't males embrace their feminine side and vice versa. Girls and women playing football,and rugby was not so long ago considered shocking. Turns out they're rather good at it.

AmMaz Mon 17-Oct-16 20:02:59

I suspect he may be projecting his own gender issues onto the child.

HannahLoisLuke Mon 17-Oct-16 19:42:48

I saw Russell Brand talking about this on The Jonothan Ross show. I think a lot of what he says is a wind up and he succeeds in that.
Slightly ashamed to admit that I find him quite funny.

Luckygirl Mon 17-Oct-16 19:21:20

Just taken my 3 year old DGD to town and the only shop she wanted to go in was Clare's Accessories - row upon row of pink sparkly things for hair, ears etc. She looked as though she was in heaven! It was a job to tear her away. Not nurture - her Mum is only ever seen in jeans or leggings in black or navy blue.

What will he do if he has a DD who does that?

lemondrizzle Mon 17-Oct-16 18:32:20

I watched that programme. He was definitely kidding I think.

suzied Mon 17-Oct-16 17:20:29

I think people here are getting"sex" mixed up with "gender". Biological sex is determined by the XX or XY chromosomes ( in most cases) whereas gender is considered to be the social characteristics of masculine and feminine behaviour. A gender neutral upbringing is surely a good thing, and would mean a boy or girl would have the same opportunities to develop their own interests , without the pressure of the pink/ blue stuff which is so prevalent these days. However, I think it would be hard to do beyond the age of about 2, as by then the child becomes aware of the world around and will begin to appreciate the differences between themselves and others, they'd soon learn their biological sex when mixing with other children who hadn't had the same experience. You'd have to keep the child in isolation to really achieve a gender neutral childhood. I'm not sure that would be a good thing.

Penstemmon Mon 17-Oct-16 17:02:15

He did not look very like him as DH is a ginge! He was a bit of a cheeky chancer though with all sorts of ideas and opinions and liked to be a bit outlandish. Mostly harmless fun and he would not have been hurtful as I think RB was to AS. A stupid and thoughtless thing to do. But I'm not perfect either.

Think that DH had had a steadier childhood than RB.

Spangles1963 Mon 17-Oct-16 16:54:34

No more than I expected from him.

Jalima Mon 17-Oct-16 16:47:36

I hope your DH has a nicer personality than him Penstemmon, presuming you mean he looked a bit like him.

Jalima Mon 17-Oct-16 16:46:40

He was certainly very gender aware when he pulled that exceedingly cruel prank on Andrew Sachs.
Let's hope that no-one is as viciously unkind to him about his child as he was to the Sachs's about their granddaughter.

Penstemmon Mon 17-Oct-16 16:36:13

I think that RB might be a very doting and loving parent to have.

He reminds me a bit of my DH as a younger man wink

LadyGracie Mon 17-Oct-16 16:18:09

I agree he does always look grubby and I imagine him having bad breath because of his horrible mouth. He's as thick as two short planks, an embarrassment to watch and listen to, not that I do I change channels if I see him, he makes me cringe. Men like him shouldn't be capable of fathering a child, let alone getting close enough to someone to actually do the deed. Poor poor child, fancy having a big hairy foul mouthed dandy as your father. No I'm not keen!

Luckylegs9 Mon 17-Oct-16 16:03:10

He not only looks as if he needs a wash, he acts as if he needs a brain, is he and a partner actually expecting a child? Is it speculation? I have to switch channels if he comes on he is so stupid and not funny at all, just weird. I feel so sorry for celebrity children. Who would want Angelina as a mother? These people are in love with themselves, what the child actually wants, interaction, love and sensible boundaries they don't get. What a load of codswallop raising a child without a gender, don't they think other children might notice or doesn't that matter.

Penstemmon Mon 17-Oct-16 16:01:46

Gosh..lots of judgements on here about RB as a person! He certainly has a public persona that he has created that you either love or hate. That might not be the 'real' person. Maybe he is the way he is because he feels has had to 'fight' against 'gender' expectations and does not want that for his child. i only know the character RB not the real person.

Is trying to be 'gender neutral' more than trying to let your child have every chance to find out their preferences, likes and dislikes without the pressure of stereotypes / marketing and traditional expectations?
Girls and boys are frequently pushed into behaving/responding in certain ways because of the language we use, tone of voice, clothes, toys, TV programmes & adverts, books etc! It is very hard to extrapolate the impact of environment from the innate behaviours and preferences that children display. It is hard to protect a child from all those outside influences but as others have said many of us have tried hard to encourage our children not to feel they have to fulfil a stereotype unless that is their preference.

Whanau1 Mon 17-Oct-16 15:52:21

Even little children will ask each other. Are you a girl or a boy? When it's not obvious.
When the child hears others being referred to by he/she etc is it it going to wonder why it is excluded? Only way round use of pronouns would be to use its name all the time -- how tedious.
Can't imagine family and friends not being tempted to have a peek to see what sex the child is -- somehow even if we treat girls and boys equally the sex of a baby is of prime interest

Tessa101 Mon 17-Oct-16 15:51:51

Does the mother have no say in it then !!! Or is she starry eyed cos it's Russel Brand and what he says goes.