DH is making me a cold frame to go at the side of the greenhouse. All has been going well until this morning when he cut his finger while using a hacksaw.
It looked pretty deep and he's on Warfarin so I drove him to our local minor injuries unit, which we are very lucky to have only six miles away.
After a two hour wait (there were only six other people in the waiting room) a male nurse showed us into the treatment room. I went as well because DH has a habit of making up his medical history as he goes along!!
When asked what he was there for, DH said (cue the joke) 'I've tried to cut my finger off with a hack saw!'
Stony silence, hard faced glare and without a hint of humour....'In that case I should be referring you to a psychiatrist.'
I'm sure a female nurse would have teased DH and joked about what he'd been up to but you could have cut the tension with a hacksaw knife.
I quietly mentioned the Warfarin which earned me a stony stare as well.
'In my opinion, people on Warfarin shouldn't be allowed near any sharp objects'
DH fired back with, 'I might as well shoot myself then!'
Oh, this was going sooooooooo well.
Thankfully, the cut, although deep, wasn't as bad as it looked and a few steri-strips and a bandage later, I was heading for the door like a bolting rabbit.
DH wasn't behind me....He was busy entering into a meaningful discussion on the necessity of keeping minor injury units open in rural areas with his new Bessie Mate.
Deedi OMG... I just spewed tea all over the keyboard!!
MadGrandma, your husband is a very brave man, he deserves a medal, but don the rubber gloves before you give it to him
Advice re superglue -- as a modeller I often get myself glued to myself and other things with superglue. Warm water and soap, just soak for 15-30 minutes and the glue will come away from skin without too much pain.
Yep! Men and superglue....Another lethal combination
Hello everyone can I join in with an anecdote that happened years ago it was so good I can't look at a tube of superglue without being reminded..... Its about my DH trying to glue together a freestanding pedestal mirror you know the kind we get up close to peer into? Anyway he broke the mirror off the plastic stem. He used some superglue we had in bathroom cabinet oh Ive forgotten to say he was naked and he's quite hairy He managed to get glue on his fingers and some on his chest? Don't know why he shouted for me to help; only he could prise his hand away from his (hairy)chest. I just got out the bathroom in time before THE yelp.
When my daughter was about 2 I managed to cut my index finger with a knife - badly enough that it wouldn't stop bleeding! I had to drive 3 miles to pick up DH from work, he climbed into car and askede why I had a teatowel wrapped round my hand? Instead of offering to drive, he said "you'd better go to A&E"! (As if I hadn't thought of that!)
On arrival at A&E we waitedd to be seen by a nurse who organised steristrips and a bandage. As a parting shot she told me to keep it dry for a few days to give it time to heal. DH's response? He did drive home but stopped at the local shop - "you'll need a pair of rubber gloves to do the washing up won't you?"
He nearly got the gloves used for quite another purpose!
Merlot, are you really sure he has a problem in Tesco ?, sounds like the perfect reason not to shop.
Merlot , that was an amazing story!
My DH would have simply come in and rummaged in his toobox for electrial tape. In fact, he has some on his pinky finger now. Strapping the little tip joint which he said was hurting. Claims that when he played school-boy rugby, electrical tape was required kit for smashed fingers etc.
Chainsaw? We had to use them a lot when we live in New England. Never had an accident. But my parents hired a man to build a garage for them and he would be up on his 'home-made' scaffolding, using a rotary saw up there, trimming off the plywood sheet fascia pieces after nailing them in place. He worked without the guard on and would pass it behind him to lay on the scaffold platform. He cut it too close, literally. He sliced through his work trousers and cut his right bum cheek! He didn't want the ambulance to come, so my dad had him lay tummy down on an old blanket in the back of their estate car, and off they went to A&E. 24 stitches it took!
Later it emerged that he was breaking Elf and Safety even back in the early 80s in the US and if the ambulance people learned he was working without the guard on, it would have gone into the medical report and then his health insurance could have denied to pay for his treatment.
Silly boy.... it was a month before that garage was finished! 
Wobblybits, re chain saw.....He's NOT allowed to use it unless I'm with him (I also have a certificate!) but actually he's uber careful because after his stroke, when his vision was affected, he spent a year training himself to live with the blind spots. He's got it off to a fine art now because his vision straight ahead is better than most people his age.
The one thing that disorientates him is shopping in Tesco. He can't see people dodging past him until they are dead ahead so he gets fed up with apologising when he runs over their feet - mostly, he doesn't bother
Merlot this so reminded me of my late DH, luckily no serious accidents, but just the sort of thing he'd have said. Our wonderful (male) GP had a great sense of humour, once went to see GP as DH had an abscess on a tooth & his face had swollen up. GP looked at him & laughed, said he looked like he should have a large hankie knotted over his head like in cartoons!!!! needless to say DH laughed & said just give me the pills!!
I find male GPs much easier to deal with than female ones
Thanks for making me laugh & enjoy your glass of wine tonight 
Great stories Merlot . A sense of humour is one of the best things.
My husband loves his DIY too, and he's accident-prone. Hardly ever without a plaster or bandage somewhere. But TG no on any medication, so the main thing I worry about is blood poisoning.
Merlot, registered blind + chainsaw 
. Mrs P hides when I use my chain saw and I can see, a hacksaw is one thing, chainsaws don't take prisoners.
merlotgran
Tell your husband he is a little gem, who never gives up. I wish my husband would make me a cold frame.
The sort of thing he said to the Nurse is the same thing my husband would have said. I remember a Matron asking mine once when he was in hospital for an operation what pills he was on and he retorted "You should know!". All a bit embarrassing, but the nursing staff got him to fill his own forms in to record things and he learnt that if he did what he was told and filled them in himself it was a way to get himself out of hospital quicker. (He's always like a caged lion in hospital. Loved your story.
merlot. 09.53
DH is registered blind, I mean.....Not me!
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