Remembering loved ones.

Wow, Whanau1, that is fascinating. Thanks for sharing.

My daughter often says that my mum has been to c her. They had a close bond. Watching Norman wisdom on TV a couple of days ago made me think of dad. He loved Norman wisdom. It made me think about what sad lives both my parents had. I feel I understand much more about them as I grow older myself.

I will be wearing a poppy on Thursday and thinking of my Grandfather who was killed in the Somme 100 years ago on the 13th, he was 28 (his 3 brothers were killed in the same week as he was). The older I get the more I think of them.

NanKate, I believe in an afterlife it makes me feel better somehow.
I am now 57, the age my mother was when she died suddenly. I have been tested for hereditory factors. I don't have them. I have been thinking about mum a lot since my birthday, and also my dad and my daughter. I take comfort knowing that they are all together.

and {{{{hugs}}}} for all those of you with more difficult losses and pain to live with.

I have no graves or memorials for my parents, DM died aged 61 and DF at 65 when I was in my 30s. Mum's ashes scattered at the crem but Dad's we took up to Yorkshire to a favourite place they enjoyed together. I try to go there every 5 years or so.
But they are with me all the time in my mind..when my DGC do something funny I tell them their GGPs would be laughing... they both adored my 2 DDs and would have loved their 4 DGS too who were born after their deaths. I try to live up to their expectations & values still..the best way to honour them

SheilaSue you have such a burden to carry; I hope you finally have some peace. xx

I don't have a systematic belief system. So much of organised religion seems so bonkers and does not encourage acceptance of other cultures and beliefs.
However, I have had 3 experiences that make me believe in reincarnation.
.my very down to earth Father had a near death experience when having an operation for cancer.
I had an out of body experience myself when giving birth to a still born child -- was transported back to a previous time when I was dying in childbirth -- it appeared to be the 1920s or 30s.
Then my daughter between the ages of 2 and 3 years started to describe to me incidents that occurred to her "in another time when I was a grown up". Things she described were outside the experience of a toddler and made the hairs stand up on my neck. I had the strong feeling aI should just listen and not question her at all. (For instance she described a time when she was the mother of an adult son).
My own mother, on her death bed saw her siblings who were killed in the War so I guess that is support for a least a time of respite before the next life.

I was only 23 when my DF died, too young (he was 49), my DM re-married to my adored Step-Father who died 17 years ago, sad that neither of them met my DGS.

My DD was born on my DGD's Birthday - I hadn't thought of his Birthday until then & it was almost the first thing DM said to me

My DH passed away 3 1/2 years ago, I often think of him, silly jokes or things that we would both have laughed at, rarely with sadness, only thing that makes me sad is that he's missing seeing our DGS grow up - but we talk about him to keep his memory alive (they adored each other)

My DM is now 87, she always says she's not sure what is worse - losing a Parent when you're young or having them around for most of your life (I am 61), I hope she lives for many more years but...

My darling grandson Kian who was born sleeping on 19/12/13. I have a soft linen candle and light this on October 15th , on his birthday and Christmas day. I too believe that he is being looked after by my parents and in laws and I will see him again some day.

When we can, one of my brothers and I get together on what would have been our step mother's birthday and celebrate. Last year, on what would have been her 99th birthday we ate crab sandwiches on the pier at Oban. This year, we'll be a month late but Oban again and she'll be with us.

I am lucky I had my parents for a long time, Dad was 92 and Mum 85, my poor Brother died when he was just forty, I have such happy memories, and know one day we will all meet again, and have a celebration party, we will all love that.

Sheilasue

Lost my son September 3rd 2007 he was murderd by his partner she had mental health problems and he would not leave our GD. So it was a terrible death whic I have never got over although over the years I have learnt to cope its not easy. My sons birthday is 13th October ironic he was born on that day too. Friday 13th 1972 used to say it was a lucky day but of course it wasn't in the end. I usually buy a balloon and let it go in the woods opposite where we live. I will never see him again I am not religious so I know that. I am a guardian to his d and that hers me.

I think about mt dad, mum and husband every day. I was with mum and my dh when they died. It was very hard.

When I was walking down the long corridor after my husband died I saw my parents at the end smiling quietly and waving gently at me. Probably a grief reaction but a very precious memory.

I also remember standing on a stairway somewhere in the hospital where my husband was terminally ill. My dil and little gd1 were there and the little girl who was only just over a year old suddenly leant over and put out her arms to me.

I lost my precious mum in may this year and I believe part of her is with me in my heart helping me through this. My poor dad had a a breakdown and is slowly coming back to us. I have no brothers or sisters but a wonderful husband and fantastic family and friends. It's music that brings back the memories but I love to think about her she had dementia and I thank god who I firmly believe in that she knew us all till the very end . she died holding my hand. I believe she is back to her lovely self before the awful illness and is now organising tea and biscuits with everyone in heaven.

I remember my parents and my husband every single day. They are a part of my daily life- thinking about them and the good times we shared. I set aside a few minutes each day to dedicate to them. Just thinking of the normal, everyday things they did and I feel close to them for a while.

What lovely feelings are expressed here on this subject. I lost my parents when I was in my thirties, and ,like many here, I wish they could have seen my children grow to adulthood , and seen the lovely grandchildren, and watched them grow. However, there are those who would say they can, and in my heart I believe I will see them again. Most days I think of them in some way or another and yes, after thirty five years I too am brought to tears sometimes.

I went to a funeral once where the 'Mistress of Ceremonies'said that we have all lived another life, and if anyone had told us, as perfectly formed, sentient beings in the womb, that we would soon emerge from the only world we knew into another world and live as we do on earth we would have never believed it. She said that we should always hold on to the belief that there is another life for us after this relatively short on. Those words have always been comforting.

Music does it for me. There are certain songs that can trigger tears and yet it's also music that is my comfort. I also like to light a candle on remembrance days; sometimes at home, sometimes I'll pop into our lovely Parish Church and light a candle and sit a while and allow myself to dwell for a few minutes in sadness.

Oddly, just writing this has brought me to tears as I think of someone whose early death is uppermost in my mind right now.

Oh yes dearly beloved, some with a smile and some with a tear. Some with sadness and with laughter and the memories are precious.

? Cazzyp no one should have to lose a child . My sister died when she was 4yrs I never knew her . My dad died when I was 4yrs old I sometimes think about all he missed he never met any of his GC my children were very young when my mum died so didn't really know her

nina your post made me think again about my own family.
Almost exactly a year after mum died, my grandson was born. Within the next month both of my sisters had new GCs too.
My niece got it right when she said
'Gran may be gone but she's still enjoying meddling!'

My parents are now reunited and my mum, who had dementia, is back to being as she was when she had all her faculties. As I get older, my thoughts are increasingly with my much-loved first boyfriend, aince, although he felt the same as me, there was never closure and I'm really looking forward to "clearing the air" with him. I'm not a Christian, but believe firmly in a life after death where I will meet my miscarried babies and old very dear friends, sort out various issues with various people to clear Karmic debts, etc. I'm so sorry for people who can't look forward to some form of heaven/happy hunting grounds/Summerlands or whatever, since this life is so short and so many things can go wrong that I want to get right in future

thankfully my parents are still with me at hhe moment but lost my beautiful healthy happy dgd six years ago when she was only 4 and ahalf months old to meningitis so i believe in an afterlife where shes happy and loved its how my family all cope with her loss

Ann you are right - 'say not in grief she is no more, but say in thankfulness that she was.'
Those of us who can say that are fortunate indeed.

Its an odd little thing but a novelty biro that plays the Marseillaise makes me so sad/happy. My Dad, a keen Francophile would have loved it so much. I so wish I could have given it to him. I think of him every day. He died 12 years ago now. One good/not so good thing is that he looks back at me from every mirror! Not a great look when I'm wearing make up!