Nigh time routines

We have our 2 and 3/4 DGD overnight one night every week and have gone through the gamut of bedtime routines. At first (she was probably 9-10 mths old) we had to do endless cuddles and songs and only put her in the cot once he was fast asleep. This could take us 2 hours or more, but then at least she slept all night.

However for the last several months we have the usual bath, milk and 2 biscuits, brushing the teeth and then to bed. Granddad is required to stay for 5 minutes when they read stories and just have a wee chat. I'm dismissed more or less instantly!

That's it though, she sometimes sleeps immediately and sometimes sings for a while, but no getting up or any other nonsense.

Her routine at home is less organised I think and she is prone to toddler tricks!

My GC have reading, teeth cleaning and then they take it in turns night by night to sit in each other's bedroom with whichever parent is in charge and 'Talk about the day' then it's lights out and settling down time.

The 3 year old often gets out of bed but is put back each time and firmly told to settle down. They close the stair gate so if he gets up again he is safe, he usually puts himself to bed when he gets bored of sitting on the landing.

Our 5 year old GS tried 'unsuccessfully' to add some more activities to the bedtime routine this past weekend when he asked me to massage his head and sing him a lullaby . They both have music playing quietly in their bedrooms which is rather nice.

I used to sit with mine, read story, hold their hands whatever was needed to get them to have a good night and that was 40-50 years ago so not a new thing Not all children are good sleepers and a little help goes a long way

I always read mine a story once they were in bed. Landing light left on and door slightly open. Neither of them came down once in bed or came into our bed.
D started theGC off falling asleep by themselves from when they were tiny. They now share a room and the oldest at 7 has declared he's too old for a bed time story younger boy is happy with that. The oldest used to sometimes creep into mummy n daddy's bed but has stopped now.

I never sat with GC until they fell asleep, I would read the story, turn on the nightlight and leave the door ajar. I would often stay on the landing for a short while because the youngest was prone to getting up and faffing around her room.

Yes - I too used to read to mine in bed - and we had several lovely rituals - the same poems and songs etc. But then I would give them a hug and leave the room and they would go to sleep. One of them used to read for a while; but the principle that they were in bed and that was where they would go to sleep - and that their parents would by then be downstairs - was the norm.

We were not unfeeling about times of anxiety or nightmares and we had a mattress and quilt on the floor at the bottom of our bed - they knew that they could creep in there if they were worried, but that, unless they were in dire straits, they must creep in quietly and not wake us.

It is interesting that this idea of staying with your child till they drop off seems to have become the fashion.

I have to say that when I have babysat at the house of one of the DDs whose children are not left alone to go to sleep, I do break their rules a bit - I do the whole reading bit in bed and then say "I'm just going to check on the cooker (or something) and when I get back to them they are (surprise surprise!) fast asleep!

I think I probably read to my two until they went to secondary school. Mainly because I enjoyed doing it and after a busy day it was fun to sit in their bedroom with a good story.

Seems to be a trend with young parents now, staying with their children until they fall asleep. Sometimes this can take hours , so tiring for parents and in my view unnecessary unless the child is ill or distressed.

DGS 3 in November - upstairs, bath, jamas, story, night song, cuddle, kiss and tucked in. Door left a bit open. He has a clock that has stars on it at night and a sun that lights up at 7am (it can be set) so he knows when it is morning. He has tried it on once when we were babysitting but I was very firm and he didn't try again. He has only recently realised he can climb out the cot bed which was changed to a bed a few weeks ago! He got up once last week at about 5am and went through to mumma and said he wanted to go downstairs to play with his toys. He was told mumma was still sleeping because it was still night time and if he wanted to go down he could but there would be no-one there. DD heard him pattering downstairs then back up and a little voice said "I need mumma to tuck me back in bed" - who could resist that. He hasn't done it since!

With ours it was winding down after tea. Then bath and this was followed by a cuddle on the bed and a story. Then tucked into bed with favourite toy, night light on, a very big kiss and hug, door slightly open and they would go to sleep. It is always the same when GC stay over. I always started as I meant to go on, children like routine it gives them security, and mum and dad need some time to themselves at the end of the day.

Our DGS used to like someone to be with him until he fell asleep. Could be very wearing, crouched down beside his bed waiting for him to drop off. (He managed to escape from his cot when he was just over a year old so drastic measures were called for at first to get him to stay in bed). This is all behind us now as he drops off well after a story. Our knees are very grateful!

I am totally with you Lucky !

My oldest daughter did , bath, pjs and story and bed. Nice and simple.

My younger daughter does the whole story, songs, snuggling, hand holding thing and freely admits she doesn't know why bedtime routine takes 10 mins at our house and an hour at hers !!

It's a ridiculous state of affairs. Both her children get up at various times to get into her bed. At ours they only get up for the toilet.

We've explained our routine, which we even use at theirs when we babysit but they continue doing their own thing - which is fine - but we now don't sympathise when they complain about the stress of bedtimes.

Bedtime routine

Bath where a story was read while they played in the bath me sat on loo seat reading a chapter or whatever.
Supper then teeth clean
Then bed with yet another chapter or story.
Good night with night light.

Sometimes they'd shout down for water or something but generally OK. If a bit anxious I would sit on the floor holding their hand for a while until they settled. Doesn't last for ever. They are in their 40s now and someone else holds their hand

My younger one (11) still has a story read by his dad, but then it's lights out and goodnight.

I remember getting in the bed with one of my DD's when she was having a bit of school anxiety, at about seven or eight. Then I'd fall asleep and wake up about nine-ish feeling terrible.

It's difficult. I think it's best go by what the individual child seems to need. Perhaps suggest that they are a big boy/girl now, but don't force anything.