Would you want to know?

My bestfriend, after a number of diagnostic procedures, was told that she had ovarian cancer & that it had spread to her liver, lungs etc and was told that she months to live - around three. She was already ill, but being optimistic she decided that months might stretch into years. She had no close family, and asked if I would be her Next of Kin. Over the years I had known her, she had always said that apart from a few small bequests to friends she wanted the money from the sale of her house, plus any other assets to go to 3 charities that she cared very much about. After she recieved the diagnosis she mentioned this several times. Also what she wanted to happen to her cats. She never took the opportunity to make a will, or sort out the cats future. I do feel a little angry with her, that she had the opportunity to carry out her wishes, and would talk to me about where she wanted to be buried etc. When she died, in hospital, they rang me as next of kin. I gave them the phone number of her nearest family - and then her family, many of whom had not known her took over. Without going into this any further, what I am trying to say is - if you get the opportunity make a will. Whether you get a terminal diagnosis, or, are just gracefully ageing, death comes to all of us - and it is a kindness to those near to you to spend a small amount of time putting your wishes in a will.

Years ago, when DC were small, I decided to gain another qualification on a day release course spread over 2 years. All the arrangements for travel and childcare seemed straight forward. Then I started the course and the problems were endless.

Had I known in advance how many problems I would have, I doubt I would have done the course, but I was so glad I didn't know because, despite the problems, I gained the qualifications and it made all the difference to my career.

I really would not want to know the future, I am one of life's optimists, I want to keep going on hopefully into the future, surmounting problems as they come, always hoping for things to improve.

I'm with annodomini regarding Hospital Appointments, I am waiting to have 7 teeth extracted at Hospital but have a Blood Disorder & I was told 3 weeks ago that they can't do Op until that's sorted out. Saturday I received another Ap for Consultant - what is going on??

Apart from that no I don't worry about the future & don't want to know, my life has taken many unexpected twists & turns, I would not have wanted to know in advance as I may not have made the same decisions & probably missed out on lots of good things & people who have come into my life

As Lupin says I am "a glass half full" person - "always look on the bright side of life"

No, definitely not.
My life's been completely turned upside down in the last couple of months and then it's been even worse over the last week.
I hate to have known what was in store for me and my family, and been impotent to change it.

If we could know the future, does it mean that we cannot change predicaments? Because, as we go through life we make choices, these can change things for those around us too. Would it take away spontaneous decisions? Would it also mean that everything will go as to what we know will happen?
I think this would be rather boring, I love surprise and having the option to change things.

Yes ! most definitely ....then I could go and spend my savings on a lovely final holiday ! Actually was told when my cancer spread for the third time that that was it ! ....Consultant did not make diagnosis of how long, said I could have palliative care ...then a new treatment was offered to me that not everyone is suitable for, and so I had it, nothing ventured, nothing to lose ....it worked. That was nearly 10 years ago .....never got that holiday ....now cannot afford it ! So, wish I had taken it at that time, and worried about how to refund my savings after ! We have a friend who always says 'no one is promised tomorrow'....the most difficult thing I find is" do you make provision for tomorrow, or live for the day ?"

DanniRae - I'm 100% with you there. Enjoy the journey - where it's enjoyable, get through it where it isn't.

Violette, yours is a very special case and it is good to hear a really good news story, but would you really have wanted to hear not only of your survival but all the other things, unassociated with your cancer, good or ill, that would happen in your life in that time?

I do the believe everything happens for a reason.If i had known the future i would never have married a sociopath but then i wouldn't have been living in the place where i met my Darling Husband or had my 3 children and wonderful grandchildren.But if someone wants to tell me the winning lottery numbers for next week then yes i want to know.

As a cancer survivor ...so far I prefer to grab the moment rather than know what the future has in store for me. live every day as if it's your last and get as much out of life as possible .

No I would not want to know. what will be will be. If I knew something bad was in store I would spend the good times worrying about it. I have had heaps of very bad things happen, and when they happen I deal with it. I am very much an "Ok so now we are up shit creek without a paddle, and the only thing to do is keep on going.

deal with things as they arrive good or bad, that's what I think

Oh my goodness..a big no to that one. I lost my 26 yr old son to cancer 6 years ago. If I'd have known that that was lying ahead .... well I'm not sure I would of chopped. Of course I would never of got cross with him, appreciated him more etc if I'd known. But to know what was coming to us, it would of destroyed me much earlier than it has.

Wouldn't it be boring if we knew in advance what the future holds? I would just like to know how long I will live, so I can work out how much I can spend now! When my father was dying - 30 years ago now - he had a visit from an old friend (we had never seen him before!) who told me that he had sold his house, rented a flat and was spending all the money!

I wouldn't want to know I think I just like to take one day at a time x

As Meerkat says 'Simples'.

I would want to know if it was good news.

I would not want to know if it was bad news..

Mind you had I known my b----y garage door was going to break I would not have put 2 coats of ruddy paint on it the week before.

Easy one this. NO.

Looking back, if I had known some things in advance I probably would have altered the outcome which would have meant I might have missed out on some of the good bits. I think it's best not to put things off as the future can never be guaranteed in the way we might hope

I`ve never really thought about it, but a few days ago hubby was admitted to hospital, and today the surgeon told us that, barring a miracle, he`s unlikely to survive this time. He also talked to hubby about it after discussing it with the family this afternoon, because he said that he may suffer a cardiac arrest, and that we should decide on our thoughts regarding DNR. He said that of patients who are resuscitated, a large percentage suffer broken ribs and brain damage, and he doesn`t think it a good idea. Then he said that no matter what we decided, the final decision is with the medical team. We have decided that we will go with the medics. So we`ve decided that we`d rather it was told straight to us like that, and know what to expect.

Oh numberpleased I'm so sorry. I don't know your background story but being told that must have been such a horrible upsetting shock, no matter how kindly done. There is nothing I can say to make you feel better. I hope there is somone beside you to shoulder the burden.

Numberplease it sounds silly saying I am so sorry, but I really am. I do hope your family are there to support you. At times like that you feel so helpless, but I do agree with something like that it is best to know what is likely to happen.

numberplease - my heart goes out to you. I've been in a similar situation myself, with my mother and then with with my husband and it's difficult to find words to express how hard it is. My thoughts are with you.

number so sorry you are going through this awful time. We are with you in spirit which is pretty useless I know, but you know we are there.

So sorry to hear about your husband numberplease. I am sending lots of love to you and your family.

I wouldn't have wanted to know my future, for had I known I would not have married and then I would never have had my 3 wonderful sons that have brought such love and happiness Into my life these last 53 years.

number - there's nothing to say that will really help but you do know we are all here for you.