De cluttering - rule of six

I am a great chucker outer. I don't have a sentimental bone in my body. DH is another matter I have found him " rescuing" things I have ditched, and hiding them elsewhere . grrr

I too battle with "hoarder-itis" and I'm sure if I didn't deliberately keep it in check I could fill every space. Trouble is, like MiniMouse says, everything has a place, but there just aren't enough places. It is a relatively small flat. I would love to have an office/sewing room, a laundry room, a conservatory....Oh and most of all a separate toilet, as they do in Europe!

My husband wanted a bigger shed than my Dad's almost 60 year old one. We compromised. He's got his bigger shed but my Dad's one is going back up in a different place in the garden. Why? Because it's still in MUCH better condition than almost all the new sheds we looked at and, as a Yorkshire lass, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it - or throw it away."
How can I possibly declutter???

I have a once a month attempt at declutter. A bag goes on the back of the door of my sewing room and I try to put something from each room in the house in it. It is not as stressful as every day as I would feel guilty if I missed out. A good week would mean I've filled the bag before the end of the month. It also means that it's not too heavy for taking in to to the charity shop.

I don't de-clutter, I optimise space. I know it's odd but when I stopped thinking about de-cluttering and started to think how can I optimise limited space so I am more comfortable 'stuff' began to vanish. Interestingly the squirrel who is Mr C responds better to that description as well. A few precious bits of family jewellery with little value other than memories are now in frames in our spare bedroom. They look pretty and I can not only see them but talk about them to the family so they know the history. Sentimental 'stuff' has been photographed, printed and labelled and mostly let go. I did keep a few odd bits of china, nothing valuable, and displayed them in the glass top to a cupboard, gradually some have disappeared to be replaced by other things as time goes on. If items of any sort are useful to people with different lifestyles or more space they go via charity shops, Freecycle, on line sales and when there was enough car boot sales. If not useful to others off to recycling they go. Clothes are ongoing. The initial cull was hard but now with limited space they are sort of self limiting and if I really do want that something new something has to go. If de-cluttering doesn't work for you try re-naming it, I may not be the only odd person out there. .

I have quite a few bits and pieces, mainly ornaments, that the children bought me when young that I still have on show. Thing is, dare I say it, I don't really like them and would love to get rid of them! I feel guilty though at the thought of parting with their carefully chosen childhood gifts. Another effect of this is that friends have seen these items, and, thinking I must like them, have added similar gifts to the collection! Now I feel doubly guilty when I think about throwing them out!! HELP!! I really want to have things that I LIKE in my house!!

I have hundreds of photos going back to the year dot. What on earth do I do with them all?
I did have a try a few years ago and threw out pictures of ducks, swans, elephants etc. and also ones of scenery that I had no idea of where it was.

Know that one path20. Don't have the answer! I sorted ours as best I could, made albums of photos that meant something, including some for the family of their younger years and took a deep breath and threw the rest out. It was seriously scary! Took ages too. Digital cameras have got newer ones on a computer now, it's no better, never look at them. Plan this winter to have the best printed and consign the rest to a backup disc in a drawer to free up some computer space. Still wondering why we took so many photos of buildings that we now don't have a clue where they were or why they mattered!

Now that my kids have left home, I want to downsize. I love the modern minimalist look whereas I have bookcases full of books and units full of CDs and DVDs. I've taken my first very brave step of buying a Kindle and downloading some of my books onto it. It's impressive and very cheap, eg "The Complete Works of Charles Dickens" was 99p! I will keep books my family or friends have bought me for presents but the rest can go. I'll do the same with CDs though the DVDs would be more difficult because I would like to see films on a normal size TV screen. I'm drawing the line at my photo albums though; in fact I've bought more because I am a couple of years behind with my printing off. I find it amusing that when I was at Uni in the early 80s, the average student flat consisted of one wall full of books and records and a tiny portable TV in the corner. Now the average young person has no books, very few CDs and DVDs but a 50 inch TV taking up a whole wall instead. xx

Synonomous I think you hit the nail on the head. I had the heartbreaking task of emptying my mother's large house when she died in another country so ended up hiring a skip and throwing away so very many useful items, but I had no time to try and sell it or even find a charity.
My own daughter is quite ruthless so for the past few years, I have tried looking at my own things through her eyes in the event that she had to come and clear out my home unexpectedly. I have also been very fortunate in that the local branch of Save the Children will send someone to my second floor flat and collect bags of books, clothing, etc which is a huge help as I don't have a car.

Jalima.....If you want to hang on to things for 20 years, that's your choice. I know when I pop my clogs my sons will be ruthless and get rid of everything without thinking. Therefore I keep things around me that I use and need. When my mother died I had 40 bags of useless things that I could not give away or recycle. I would not wish that on anyone.

"Hang onto things" Now there is a loaded expression, with overtones of desperation.

Not everyone is about to pop their clogs, I personally have every intention of living for at least another 15 years, and given my general good heath and the example of previous generations, I stand a good chance of doing so. I don't want to spend those years wishing I hadn't got rid of my things because I have been told I ought to, and frankly I feel rather oppressed by being told so often that I must declutter for the sake of those who will have to clear up after me.

This is MY life, and I haven't finished with it yet, so I am not packing my bags too soon. It is not yet time to throw out all the bits and pieces that I might want or need in those coming years. When that time comes, I shall recognise it, until then I would rather keep them, thank you very much.

I have moved twice in last 4 years - 1st from 4 double bedroom house with large garden & double garage to a 2 bedroom Park Home (with garage in block) - downsize no1 - took some furniture which we knew we had to replace when settled but a settee & Dining table is a requirement until new purchased. Lots of boxes which needed sorting properly when we had time (sold house & moved in 6 weeks!!)

Downsize no2 came after sad loss of DH, moved to be nearer DD & her family. Again fast sale (about 3 weeks) - no new home bought so everything into storage. Bought another Park Home but only 1 bedroom & little storage so minimum brought out of storage but still sorting drawers & storage boxes out every so often.

DD was brilliant & we sold, gave away or charity shopped everything we could. Not much was taken to re-cycling centre.

Still got all my treasured possessions & lots of memory items which I do go through occassionaly (discarding a few items each time) Most photos are now stored under bed only special ones displayed. Feels better every time I have a clear ou no matter how little I actually dispose of. Books go to my DD when finished with & she passes them on to others who read & pass on.

AnnieBach

I have that poster too. My husband bought it for me because it is my favorite film. From time to time he asks why I don't have it on the wall - he obviously hasn't noticed we don't have any walls that big.

I have some china and other stuff that we have 'hung on to' for over 100 years (not me personally ) and that has its memories - the DGC can do what they like with it one day!

I just needed you to give me a nudge Blondehedgehog and tell me that it will never come back into fashion!

Oh, actually, I have a dress that I bought in 1980 for a posh do, cannot bear to throw it out but I may never be a size 10 again . Worn twice I think.
Perhaps I can make something lovely for one of the DGD from the fabric.

The DC I mean, they can skip it, charity shop it, keep it, whatever they wish.

i bought a big teddy bear from a charity shop a few years back. Not for the grandsons, just for me because he was so appealing in his trousers and smart waistcoat. I de-cluttered him back to the shop a while back. I miss him so much now.

I sometimes used to share an armchair with him.

I must admit that I look forward to Thursdays when the wheelie bins are emptied and as someone else said I try to put as much clutter in as I can without DH seeing me. He always questions "why are you throwing that away" and then I feel guilty/wasteful. I think I will also try to make better use of the recycling bins close to where I work too. Maybe pick 1 day a week and turn it into a bit of a ritual? (Mondays sound good, just after the weekend as hopefully I will have gathered some stuff ready to go). It is a good feeling though chucking stuff out!

Hear hear Elegran. I want MY life while I have it, and MY things round me. The kids can throw it all out after I've gone but in the meantime, it stays!

jing I've bought a big teddy bear too, for when my son leaves. Then there will be "someone" to talk to. Maybe you should get another one?

It is interesting to read the thoughts of others on hanging on to things.
I have just had DD staying and she helped me organise my new little sewing room, everything is smaller now we have downsized. It hadn't been touched since everything 'landed' on moving day so we chatted about all the things I had got stashed in there. Sometimes you need to do that to understand why you have things and also why you shut the door on them too.
Well, she and a friend sat me down on a chair and they emptied the room, cleaned it and then sorted everything out, discussing with me as to whether I was actually going to finish making things, whether I even could manage to do things or whether I should pass them on. I ended up with various piles and we tipped, did a charity shop run, a passing on pile and the keepers went back into my sewing room.
I have realised just how disabling too much stuff is as I have actually used my sewing machine in the week since DD left and have also been able to find and use things to mend one or two items. It has been a revelation and an encouragement to realise that I couldn't even start on anything because I just had too much and it was not sufficiently organised to use.
De-cluttering is not about giving up on life rather it is about taking back your life and moving on in your new circumstances. I am so grateful to have been freed up to move on!

I totally agree with the last paragraph of Synonymous's post.

Zengran. If you talked to your kids about them, they might be fine about you having a de-clutter?
I find my kids, so far anyway, are nowhere near as sentimental about things as I am.

Was motivated by this thread to start clearing out stuff ready for a move early next year. Made a start on clothes. Hubby joined in!! Took 9 full black bags to the charity shop today at 11am. By 11.30am two of my cast offs had pride of place in the window. They looked so nice it made me wonder if I had been too hasty. Already looking on line to buy new stuff to fill empty hangers.