Losing out when moving abroad.

I think there is a lot of difference between just moving to Europe and being a few hundred miles away, and living in North America or Australia and being thousands of miles away. As travel on budget airlines (a recent thread!) is so cheap and straightforward it's no different from living in more remote parts of the UK. Other side of the world is entirely different and needs a lot more desire, energy and cash!

Ideally I would love a holiday home abroad and keep my home here.Not financially viable though. If I did come into money or release equity in my home I would help my grandchildren get on the housing ladder first.

I think it is hard when people get left on their own especially if they don't drive / speak the language.
We have a big property and a garden we have created, but do live in a very close and supportive community. Our plan is to sell the property (which will probably take a couple of years) when we feel we are finding it hard to manage and then rent something smaller in a more convenient location here in France. I wouldn't know where to go in the UK really; we lived all over the place and though DD lives in a lovely town it would be too expensive and too busy.

Yes, Flora it's the growing old abroad and being left on my own bit that probably scares me too. I admire those couples on TV who "escape to the continent" and find a dream home, bit it worries me that lots of them rarely consider the consequences of being stuck in the middle of nowhere and maybe that's when homesickness kicks in.
I'm getting the feeling that lots of us can cope with our children heading to foreign parts to live, but not many of us are brave enough to actually take the plunge ourselves in later life.

I was thinking of starting a thread on a similar subject. Family close to us are visiting the UK for the last time . They have had long holidays here every year for 12 years but distance and age will put a stop to that. If I was them I would be so sad to think I would not see my homeland again and my extended family. One of them hates our cold weather and would miss some of their family who live 5 hours from their home abroad. The other would come home if possible I think . I am so glad I am not them being torn ,though they have a good life, for me " home " is best.

I have never not been an expat! I can barely imagine what it must be like to have a 'home'...but am not complaining...just feel rootless at times!

My DD has lived in Oz for the last 14 years having fallen in love with and married an Australian. She still gets homesick occasionally and misses people but not places. I am happy for her. She has a good life, is happy and has made a wonderful home for her family. I am lucky that I see her at least once a year and this year they will all be visiting the UK so at last I can have a photo of all my grandchildren together

Although my sister is 12000 miles away, we have always been close and remain so even though she can't come over here more that every two or three years.

My son lives abroad has done for around 8yrs now he doesn't really keep up with goings on here very much although makes the odd comment on FB now and then he is very much living his life there having started his family there with his lovely partner but far from feeling he is missing out he is making a new life and experiences there. He only visits family here rarely and its usually a flying visit while on business. He will come over for a wedding/funeral but thats about it for him. I'm pretty sure he doesn't miss the UK one bit and is much healthier, happier and affluent living where he does although he has friends and colleagues who travel back and forth often.

Of course I'd wish it were different especially now his family is growing but its the way it is and I can't change it. I have visited regularly in the past but am restricted at present but a dodgy hip.

I moved abroad to live with the love of my life, because he had been 5 years at university and would have been a teacher in the Uk with leather patches on the elbows of his jacket.

Seriously though my parents were both dead and we wanted grandparents for our daughter. Germany was not so much different from the Uk in those days apart from the fact that it had turned a corner and was a thriving and postitive place to build a new life.
We didn't have Skype, not even a telephone at first. I did pay the price of homesickness but a lot of it was that I still missed my mother. But I did not miss Sheffield and was glad to get away.
You do make sacrifices but if you are integrated and embrace a whole new culture and language, then there is no going back.

It always was the right decision - after 48 happy years together I would do it again.

My sister has lived abroad for 48 years, she visits UK 4 times a year and reverts back to her UK life without problems. DD moved abroad and visits every couple of months but seems more detached from her old life. Since the referendum I have only seen and spoken to her once.

I think that is where Skype helps Lillie, especially as the grandchildren get older. I certainly know more about what more distant family and friends are doing because of Facebook, which wasn't around when we were in the UK.
Not sure I lead two lives really. Our son and family are in Spain so I think I just feel European.
OH's family lived all over the world, he was born abroad and worked a lot overseas. I left my home town at 18 to go to university and we moved a lot in the UK. I think those experiences shape us more really.
Actually the only thing I find annoying is when people visit from the UK and "bring us up to date" as if we had been in remote Himalayas for years. I always remember a friend visiting and telling us all the local news then being amazed that South Today was on the telly.

Ah, you are talking about it from the point of view of the person living abroad.

The ones I know who live abroad permanently, they left because they struggled a bit with family members, so didnt and dont want too much contact with them.
So perhaps that is not the situation you are in.

The relatives that both my husband and myself have and have had that live abroad, personally, I dont think we think about them or think of them any less or more than those who live in the UK.

Maybe even more actually.

You sound like you lead two lives Mamie and as Obieone says, it helps to be able to hop back and forth.
I think what worries me is the feeling people would forget me back home rather than I would be the one to lose contact with them. I'd want them to remain exactly the same when I want back, which I know isn't possible. Maybe that's the definition of nostalgia.

No, absolutely not.
We are only just over the channel in Normandy and we have UK TV (as well as French), The Guardian delivered to our ipads at 5am, plus Twitter, Facebook etc.
We Skype /Facetime the family all the time (OH spent an hour last week helping eldest DGD with simultaneous equations). I hop across the channel for several weeks a year to see them and help DD when she needs an extra pair of hands. We don't see our grandchildren in Spain as often, but keep in close touch.
Some friends still visit, others have lost touch, but I guess that is the same wherever you live.
After eleven years France is very much home and when I come back here I leave the UK without a pang and swap instantly to my life and friends (nearly all French) here.
I think speaking the language fluently is essential and also understanding the country you live in and the way that it works.
I will always be English in France, but I don't feel I miss much about the UK except Waitrose.

Going by personal experience only, if the person abroad has plenty of money to hop back and forth, it isnt too bad.

Other than that, yes I would agree with you.