The Gransnet Olympics !

Sorry EB's but using dogs to paddle with is cruel.

Help! I fell asleep on the bus and got arrested for being drunk and disorderly, but if someone can vouch that I'm part of the GN Olympic Team, I will be allowed out of jail. Please can someone come and get me out?

It took a few back-handers but you will all be pleased to hear we have sprung Willma from jail.

No medals yet but we have hopes in the arm wrestling competition and the peashooter 4 by 4.

GandTea I am going to put a small amount of sedative in your Bacardi and Coke tonight just to dampen things down a bit, is that ok ?

Keep going folks you are doing tremendously well.

WilmaKnickersFit, Gransnet ??? Never heard of them.

Nankate, one of the ladies gave me some little blue pills that she said would help.

Not sure they have done much, but at least I don't pee on my slippers now.

Watching the judo yesterday, how I wish I could get back on the mat. If you understand it, it is a great spectator sport, a few minutes of action, all or nothing. If only I was 20 again.

I will never forget you came to my rescue NanKate and sorry you had to dip into the Lottery money to spring me. I think I should be teetotal for the rest of the Games, so someone needs to take over the job of Official Cocktail Taster.

G&T those Brazilian women have addled your brain - keep taking the little blue pills.

Best of luck to the arm wrestlers and peashooters today!

Pity GandTea can't be on the pea/pee shooting team today. I've heard he's busy playing his ukulele!

Before I met those beach volley ball girls, I thought a "G" string was one of the four on my Uku. Plucking my "G" string will never be the same again. (spell checked that very carefully)

Leap frog any one.....with or with support garments. Any one having trouble or needing a hand to uphold their endG&T Will be disqualified ....it is NOT that type of event.

I Have made a late entry for the adult version of pin the tail on the donkey....it requires a person of the opposite team to correctly pin body parts on the opposite member....blindfold

Sorry to report that I was last in the coffee stirring event. As feared, those pesky Italians won easily. I think I might have to retire from competitive stirring now and restrict myself to local demonstrations.

Well done for trying Gaga.

We have splendid news we have a bronze medal in the Crazy Golf.

Please keep sober everyone for the medal giving ceremony.

Have they a stair lift for the podium ?

I would be in the queue GandTea and I would like to think that I will be using it a lot for Queen and country. Naturally only gold for me, I have to come first, second or third is not good enough for me.

Is there a queuing team?

Could be Pittcity we are known throughout the world how good we are at that sport.

DH has just completed his 77th lap on a ride on mower. I did try telling him this is the Gransnet Olympics and NOT Gransnet F1 but when has he ever listened to me?

I'm now desperately trying to find a chequered tea towel before he comes round for the last time or he'll sulk all afternoon.

Can I be on the team for falling downstairs. Think I might stand to get a gold as I've somehow managed to do it twice this week. Have some lovely bruises on my posterior, but think I would fail a drugs test at the moment as I'm a bit high on paracetamol.

milliemouge Such dedication to your sport.

NanKate I promise to be sober. I've learned my lesson.

G&T a stair lift is only available for the gold medal podium, so we'll have to scramble up on to the Bronze medal spot. Hopefully the TV cameras will respect our dignity and not zoom in on our backsides!

So glad we've made it on to the Medal table. ?

Jalima I do not think that the bed company will sponsor us staying overnight in different hotels for so long while we complete the 26 mile walk.

Maybe if we take a taxi to the last 1/4 mile and then amble slowly towards the finishing line, stopping for a cup of coffee. We can then collapse in a hotel for the night and it will be a well deserved rest. Do you agree?

That sounds good to me Charleygirl
I have been practising some Portuguese (must show willing) and have got as far as
dois cafés por favor (two coffees please) and
onde está a minha medalha de ouro? (where is my gold medal?)

all spoken with a very British accent

Jalima that sounds great, your fluent Portuguese will get us anywhere. I can normally read a menu in any language- we will not starve.

Who knows, our bed sponsors may like what we have done so much and present us with a free bed each once we arrive home!

Naturally we will be picking up a gold medal each as we will be walking over the finishing line together- the last few steps will be synchronised for that reason.

We could tie our right and left legs together and turn it into a three-legged slow race, first two over the finish line without falling over?

What about a bed race, like the one shown on the One Show in Weobley the other evening? We could rest in style and the bed(s) could be pushed by some hunky Brazilian athletes?

I learnt a little bit of Portuguese 50 years ago, so I think I would be qualified to be an interpreter.
I would also definitely win a gold medal for cramming the most articles possible into the too-small built- in -under- the- counter fridge that I stupidly bought thinking it would give me more space. I'm also drug-free (if gin and tonic doesn't count)

I was going to offer to take on Wilma's cocktail tasting role but I was practicing at lunch time and need a little lie down now