Born with a silver spoon in one's mouth - NO!

Well it is only money and some people have richer family lives or better health or talent..............no point being envious we really don't know much about the lives they live.

"Money is such a sensitive and emotional subject. I'm not sure it's good idea to discuss it on a message board where meanings can be misconstrued"
As I well know after being accused of 'flaunting my wealth' by a poster on this forum.
So, you will have to go without my pearls of wisdom on this subject

Many years ago my hardworking husband and myself decided to take the children on holiday to Canada.
We were out in company and one person started ribbing us and said he could never do that as we were better off than him.. Like a red rag to a bull DH asked him the price of a pack of cigarettes? How many did he smoke? The calculation of how much he spent on cigarettes alone in one year was in excess of the cost of our fares!!!!!!!!! Point made.
The person's wife was not amused.

gillybob
there's no point in lifestyle envy
Your right of course there is no point in it but I think it's human nature. "The other man's grass is always greener" as the saying goes.

gillybob been there done that and bought the t-shirts. We were in business over 20 years before having to sadly close it making ourselves, our son and our employees out of work. It almost destroyed my husband and even now 13 years later he's not the same person he was. In all that time everyone thought we were very well off - they didn't see the sleepless nights, the long working days and weekends, the lack of holidays and the huge debt hanging over our modest home which the business was secured against. We are now financially secure thankfully but only due to the hard work we still do - he leaves home at 6.15 every morning and doesn't return until 12 hours later having driven an hour each way. I would never judge anyone by outward appearances as behind every door etc.

lizzy thank you. I'm sorry you lost your DH at such a young age. I think you are right about everything geared towards couples.

Money is such a sensitive and emotional subject. I'm not sure it's a good idea to discuss it on a message board where meanings can be misconstrued.

Exactly gillybob

Injustice troubles me too Anniebach. Especially when we struggle along, trying to run our little business, paying our taxes and being hounded by HMRC for a few pounds. When on the other hand...........

Well I will leave it there. It's bad for my blood pressure.

We all have our trials and tribulations. Whether born with a silver spoon or not. Just be glad of what you have got and share if you can. Smile at comments; whilst thinking gosh if you only knew. My father always maintained that it was better not to judge until you had walked a mile in the other person's shoes. Of course you cannot comment as you have no idea of the circumstances.

We are not rich, by anyone's standards, and yet, because we have chosen to live in France, the implication is that, by default, we must be loaded. Just say 'the south of France' to anyone and they assume an Agatha Christie type lifestyle. We have had to work hard to stay here. Wealth is so relative, whether you consider yourself rich or not, there are so many people in the world who struggle for food and clean water. By their standards we are all rich.

I've worked and saved hard all my life and we got through very hard times indeed in the 1980s when DH faced repeated redundancies. I actually do feel well off but its not that we want 'things' or foreign holidays, its the feeling of having bought my freedom that makes me feel so happy. Meanwhile DH still works long hours in his own business. For him, the 80s cast a long shadow.

I think I understand what you're saying, Wilma. I'm comfortably off because my husband insisted on paying off our mortgage as quickly as possible. He worked hard, paid into pensions and was always planning to stop work, "next year, one more year..." Sadly, he died very suddenly aged 54 and his pensions paid out to me. I won't apologise for being financially comfortable but I would never throw it in other's faces nor would I wish my husband's fate on anyone. By choice, I live modestly, never smoked and hardly drink. My situation has many disadvantages. I don't go on holiday or have much social life. Everything is geared towards couples. I can't see the point in taking a big stack of books and reading my way through a week or two abroad surrounded by strangers when I can read the same books at home in my conservatory and meet up with friends! Singles holidays are also shockingly expensive! The fact is, when you meet your partner and share many years together, it's weird even imagining that with someone new and anyway, they're all old geezers!

I couldn't care less how wealthy a person is , I get irritated when the wealthy can buy privileges or come by their wealth in a dishonest way . Envy is something which has never troubled me , injustice troubles me greatly

My parents split up very acrimoniously when I was young and my Dad would not pay maintenance no matter how hard the courts chased him nor would he see us so he didn't have to pay, amongst other things. When I was in my 40's and we made contact, it was evident that he was in awe of the fact we were "rich" even though we definitely aren't. The first time he ever lost his cool with us, his angry sneering about "you rich people" was a complete surprise to us.

WOW you wrote that with such hatred and venom, Elegran, the Americans love our royals, so hopefully they might inherit them

What a totally unjustified attack and total non sequitur.
Fail to see where you are coming from, gononsuch

Tbh I think it's pointless wondering how people can afford this and that. I am what I am and I have what I have. That's it. I do wish things could be a bit easier financially and that my DH didn't have to work so damned hard but there's no point in lifestyle envy.

People have different priorities. It amazes me how a couple we know who work in retail (not the best pay) can keep two horses, drive a huge 4x4 and have foreign holidays. H says "they must live on baked beans"
H has never been out of work and for most of the time I've known him worked 12hr shifts. We could never have afforded any of that but eat well and thankfully don't have to worry about an unexpected bill because we don't have a lot of tec stuff, no Sky, drive a modest car and have weekends away. We have friends who are loaded and I admire them for having been brought up on the same council estate as me and securing themselves good well paid jobs. I and a mutual friend may be a bit but they are friends and we don't treat them any different

In my experience, when you come from a poor background and go on to make a 'good' life for yourself, you can end up two ways. The first is you help or treat your family when you can because you want them to enjoy what you never had, or you don't want them to suffer as you did. The second is to unconsciously imply with behaviour or words that if you can become comfortably off, everyone can do it - the implication being you only have yourself to blame. I am not articulating this well, but I hope the meaning is there. I expect to be flamed for saying this.

Teetime - your post reminds me of why I will have nothing to do with gold clubs - especially the unspeakable ones that 'don't allow' women to become members.

I do know a few people who really were "born with a silver spoon" but they would be the last to push this down other's throats. In many cases they are no longer in the secure financial position they once held, but simply cut back on their lifestyle to suit their new income. Perhaps people hearing their cut glass accents still imagine they are living in the lap of luxury? This is simple prejudice.

I always find it entertaining when people moan about how hard up they are and then I remember that they've been on at least one foreign holiday during the past year. Half the problem seems to be that many do not know how to live within their means.

I golf as you know and the golfing of course attracts people with money but also people who don't have so much but have chosen to play for whatever reason. Clubhouse and on course conversation often runs to money, holidays, cars etc etc and I stay out of it and usually try to turn the conversation to something else lighter books, TV, the weather anything really. It amuses me that I have not let our status be known having been brought up not to discuss money at all. However what people then do is probe in a different way - the favourite of course being house prices and locations. It matters not to me what others have only what they don't have and if I can help I do but again I was taught to keep all such things private.

My Dad came from a poor mining community. He worked hard and became a teacher. He was always very generous, to his widowed mother and to others in the family. The first to get his wallet out.
My DH is the same. Any spare money goes to our children or grandchildren. We rarely give to charity. To us that begins at home.

Oh you are so right Anniebach.

WOW you wrote that with such hatred and venom, Elegran, the Americans love our royals, so hopefully they might inherit them

But it does work both ways , I have heard - the child lives on a council estate and also - we chose that school because the children there come from a more affluent area