Born with a silver spoon in one's mouth - NO!

WOW you wrote that with such hatred and venom, Elegran, the Americans love our royals, so hopefully they might inherit them

What a totally unjustified attack and total non sequitur.
Fail to see where you are coming from, gononsuch

My parents split up very acrimoniously when I was young and my Dad would not pay maintenance no matter how hard the courts chased him nor would he see us so he didn't have to pay, amongst other things. When I was in my 40's and we made contact, it was evident that he was in awe of the fact we were "rich" even though we definitely aren't. The first time he ever lost his cool with us, his angry sneering about "you rich people" was a complete surprise to us.

I couldn't care less how wealthy a person is , I get irritated when the wealthy can buy privileges or come by their wealth in a dishonest way . Envy is something which has never troubled me , injustice troubles me greatly

I think I understand what you're saying, Wilma. I'm comfortably off because my husband insisted on paying off our mortgage as quickly as possible. He worked hard, paid into pensions and was always planning to stop work, "next year, one more year..." Sadly, he died very suddenly aged 54 and his pensions paid out to me. I won't apologise for being financially comfortable but I would never throw it in other's faces nor would I wish my husband's fate on anyone. By choice, I live modestly, never smoked and hardly drink. My situation has many disadvantages. I don't go on holiday or have much social life. Everything is geared towards couples. I can't see the point in taking a big stack of books and reading my way through a week or two abroad surrounded by strangers when I can read the same books at home in my conservatory and meet up with friends! Singles holidays are also shockingly expensive! The fact is, when you meet your partner and share many years together, it's weird even imagining that with someone new and anyway, they're all old geezers!

I've worked and saved hard all my life and we got through very hard times indeed in the 1980s when DH faced repeated redundancies. I actually do feel well off but its not that we want 'things' or foreign holidays, its the feeling of having bought my freedom that makes me feel so happy. Meanwhile DH still works long hours in his own business. For him, the 80s cast a long shadow.

We are not rich, by anyone's standards, and yet, because we have chosen to live in France, the implication is that, by default, we must be loaded. Just say 'the south of France' to anyone and they assume an Agatha Christie type lifestyle. We have had to work hard to stay here. Wealth is so relative, whether you consider yourself rich or not, there are so many people in the world who struggle for food and clean water. By their standards we are all rich.

We all have our trials and tribulations. Whether born with a silver spoon or not. Just be glad of what you have got and share if you can. Smile at comments; whilst thinking gosh if you only knew. My father always maintained that it was better not to judge until you had walked a mile in the other person's shoes. Of course you cannot comment as you have no idea of the circumstances.

Injustice troubles me too Anniebach. Especially when we struggle along, trying to run our little business, paying our taxes and being hounded by HMRC for a few pounds. When on the other hand...........

Well I will leave it there. It's bad for my blood pressure.

Exactly gillybob

lizzy thank you. I'm sorry you lost your DH at such a young age. I think you are right about everything geared towards couples.

Money is such a sensitive and emotional subject. I'm not sure it's a good idea to discuss it on a message board where meanings can be misconstrued.

gillybob been there done that and bought the t-shirts. We were in business over 20 years before having to sadly close it making ourselves, our son and our employees out of work. It almost destroyed my husband and even now 13 years later he's not the same person he was. In all that time everyone thought we were very well off - they didn't see the sleepless nights, the long working days and weekends, the lack of holidays and the huge debt hanging over our modest home which the business was secured against. We are now financially secure thankfully but only due to the hard work we still do - he leaves home at 6.15 every morning and doesn't return until 12 hours later having driven an hour each way. I would never judge anyone by outward appearances as behind every door etc.

gillybob
there's no point in lifestyle envy
Your right of course there is no point in it but I think it's human nature. "The other man's grass is always greener" as the saying goes.

Many years ago my hardworking husband and myself decided to take the children on holiday to Canada.
We were out in company and one person started ribbing us and said he could never do that as we were better off than him.. Like a red rag to a bull DH asked him the price of a pack of cigarettes? How many did he smoke? The calculation of how much he spent on cigarettes alone in one year was in excess of the cost of our fares!!!!!!!!! Point made.
The person's wife was not amused.

"Money is such a sensitive and emotional subject. I'm not sure it's good idea to discuss it on a message board where meanings can be misconstrued"
As I well know after being accused of 'flaunting my wealth' by a poster on this forum.
So, you will have to go without my pearls of wisdom on this subject

Well it is only money and some people have richer family lives or better health or talent..............no point being envious we really don't know much about the lives they live.

Anniebach, I so agree with this:

'I couldn't care less how wealthy a person is , I get irritated when the wealthy can buy privileges or come by their wealth in a dishonest way . Envy is something which has never troubled me , injustice troubles me greatly'

people can't help being born with a silver spoon, anymore than they can help being born the son of a murderer ... what matters is what they do with that silver spoon later in life. Do they fight to keep it in their mouth- or do they admit they've been lucky and seek ways to stop injustice.

Think of people like Tony Benn.

I don't think we're here to discuss anyone's personal finances, it's more a case of other peoples' perceptions of the things which make us look "loaded." Mainly it seems like cars and holidays, and maybe a second home. (In our case it was paying for private school for our children.)

I lost both my parents in my 20s and inherited a fair sum. They had also supported me through my degree at a top university and I therefore had a good job too. What used to upset me was people thinking I was "lucky" to have so much when actually I would have given it all away to have my parents back, especially when my children were born and growing up. On the whole I'm over it now, but I used to hate the expression "she's fallen on her feet" or "lucky her to be able to afford that."

I felt quite sad at reading many of the posts especially yours Lillie as I lost my father when quite young and miss my mum incredibly. There was very little money around when I was growing up and what we have now is what we have worked for. We don't smoke but enjoy a glass of wine and like to go on holidays and treat our children and grandchildren. We have heard comments that we are well off - we are not poor but certainly do not have as much as some people think. I believe the old adage "the harder I work the luckier I get."

I don't think anyone should speculate about another's financial situation. It's none of your business. If you're feeling miffed because you perceive someone to have more than you, then look to your own work ethic, financial management skills and life choices. It is called taking responsibility.

Nain9bach. So true re; walking in another's shoes.

A neighbour of mine was very wealthly, tall, thin and beautiful but dreadfully unhappy as she regularly suffered violent treatment from husband (he would bend her fingers back). Money gave her no comfort.

Another wealthy friend has three gay sons and would love to be a grandmother. Money no comfort there.

It can buy you security and comfort but not necessarily happiness.

So, you will have to go without my pearls of wisdom on this subject
Petra

There you go, flaunting those "pearls" again! Wot's wrong with poppit beads then?

Linsco, surely quite natural to question the wealth of the likes of Phillip Green

Yes Annie, I would question everything about PG, his integrity in particular.

Lonsco56- in many cases it is not speculation. And in many case it has little to do with being particularly clever or talented in managing your financial affairs. If you inherit a large sum of money, or are given a 5 bed, 3 bath house in Richmond as a wedding present- you WILL find it a lot easier to get on and increase wealth than if you do NOT. You could be stupid, or very unlucky, and lose it all- but you will certainly find it a lot easier than someone who has not- and this even more so if combined with education at one of the top Pulblic schools in the UK.

You may be correct granjura but I was referring to the inappropriateness of speculation about another's financial situation and forming a judgement based on speculation.

The OP was making reference to "comments about the wealth of others who were quite honestly very ordinary"

I am not aware of many "ordinary" people who inherit houses in Richmond combined with an education at one of the top Public schools in the UK.