It's my birthday!

Brilliant, truly brilliant. Thank you guys and gals, I can always count on you all to cheer me up. Loved the jokes and all the cake, chocolate and wine.

It's been a quiet day, got my flowers off my doggie which were a reasonable price at £19.99 and made two vases worth, so that was really good and they are beautiful. Got a card off my DS and he has been on hand all day to make food and drinks and watch some tele together which was nice to have some company. This water retention is really getting me down, it's in my legs now, my feet and bottom of my stomach. I am at the doctors soon but it does make me feel terribly uncomfortable all the time, hence not feeling great. I'm on water tablets but it's hardly moving anything along. I do put my feet up high. Anyway, a joke for you: -

Which is scarier? A puppy or a rational woman in menopause?

The puppy because a rational woman in menopause does not exist!

Thanks all again Xxx

Forgot my joke!

A woman called our airline 
customer-service desk asking if she could take her dog on board.

“Certainly,” I said, “as long as you provide your own dog crate.” I further explained that the crate needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over.

The customer was flummoxed: 
“I’ll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!”

Hope you managed to spoil yourself a little (or a lot!) in the end.

Happy Birthday Ruby, I hope it got better.

Aww Ruby Happy Birthday! Hope you gave yourself a little treat of some sort just to cheer yourself up. You deserve it, lovely lady.

No jokes from me as still recovering from family volcanoes. Sorry. But have a few

Sorry RUBY forgot to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

There were 3 workman sitting on a roof eating their sandwiches. One said "Oh, ham sandwiches - I love ham sandwiches". The next one said "Yum, corned beef sandwiches. Delicious". The third one said "Bl**dy cheese sandwiches again - I HATE cheese sandwiches. If I have cheese sandwiches again tomorrow I am jumping off this bl**dy roof". The next day up on the roof the first man had his favourite ham sandwiches again. The second man had his delicious corned beef sandwiches BUT the last man said "Oh no, cheese again" and true to his word he jumped up and hurled himself off the roof. "That's strange that he did that," said the first man. "Why's that?" said the second one. "Well" replied the first man "He makes his own sandwiches"!!!

An English man, a Scotsman and an Irish man were in the pub, boasting about their children.

The English man said:

My boy George will probably end up as Prime Minister, we called him George as he was born on St George's Day.

The Scotsman said:

Well, I have no doubt that our Andrew will win the Highland Games, we called him Andrew as he was born on St Andrew's Day.
The Irish man could contain himself no longer, and jumped up and said:

Just wait until you hear about my boy Pancake!

Hope your day got better as it went along! ?????

Happy birthday Ruby, it's not over yet so I hope your son has bucked his ideas up! Have a ? on me and a big piece of ???

Happy Birthday - I also wish I was 52! xx ???

Happy birthday Ruby. Remember cars can be mended, you just take care of yourself. Sorry can't think of any jokes but will send instead and

Thank you

Happy Birthday Ruby - wish I was 52 again Hope your car gets fixed soon - actually I might have been 52 when I pranged my car too! Happy belated birthday KatyK!

Happy birthday Ruby and belated good wishes to KatyK. I hope you don't mind sharing the cake.

Happy birthday ruby Here's something to cheer you up - it was my birthday this week and I am 15 years older than you! I wish I was 52. I hope your day gets better.

What happened to the Bread and Butter in the gutter?

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Squashed tomatoes and stew!
Happy birthday to you. Ruby
Have a good day
(Cars can be mended that's why we have insurance)

Someone ordered the just for you.
Xxx

Happy birthday. Strange how when you try to think of a joke nothing comes to mind, sorry. Hope things get better later though.

Happy birthdayruby wishing you all the best

Happy Birthday ruby Sending you lots of

Old Bird ????, you are a spring chicken. Happy birthday Ruby.

A very happy day to you. If you feel like an old bird just think that I had been married a week short of 6 years when you were born.!! I think that's right ( rather early for me).

Happy birthday Ruby.

Happy birthday, Ruby. 52! Blimey, I wish my next birthday was 52! Sorry about your car. Have a splendid day and spoil yourself! ??☀️