I can't tell you all how nice it is to be on here

I think a number of us will relate to your situation Nonnie1. I know there are things I don't reveal here and find it hard to talk about. A good counsellor can help just by listening to you and helping you to sort out your feelings. I do hope that by coming to us and writing about what sounds like a big black hole that you can't forget or dissipate you have begun a process of healing.

Have you considered therapy? Sometimes just talking to a stranger helps, and of course it is confidential so you feel safe discussing anything. And they are highly experienced so can offer solutions and different ways to think. You have depression, and if it is not helped, may get worse. Often medication helps but does not treat the root cause of depression.. Just some thoughts for you to ponder.

Virtual friends are different, aren't they. I was on a site run by a commercial company where we all got to be very virtually friendly and chatted away for years. Then they pulled the plug on the site - how sad was that. I can understand how it helps you

Oh how I sympathise, Nonnie1. And if was all caused by the family, then it is even harder to unburden yourself. I blog all my frustrations [to myself]. It really helps to "shout".
And as for crying, it ambushes you at the most inconvenient times. lots of love and support from here...
But, it does sound like you are depressed, so you need to get help - CBT, pills, or whatever. Lots of bright light sun or otherwise, food and exercise are also helpful.
Hope things improve and you see the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. (((hugs)))

Dear Nonnie1, I am always surprised at how many people are going through or have gone through really bad times - either through loss of a loved one - divorce - or redundancy - and how this impacts on our mental health. I know how you feel and what it's like to be unable to stop the tears when something reminds us of a loved one or things get too much to bear. I am so pleased you are seeking help and really hope this helps. I found walking with a friend good therapy for me - and I discovered that my friend had a problem that she wanted to share. Do try and get out and meet people when you feel ready. Good luck

Nonnie, don't let the buggers get you down! - we may not always all see eye to eye, but I reply to many of the comments, queries etc - it's a great site and one of its great points is that anyone can let off steam on any topic relevant to our advanced age group! We've all been through ghastly life experiences and when you are ready to talk, will at least sympathise and share our viewpoint - nothing new under the sun! Keep your chin up and if you feel like a good old sob, make a cuppa or pour a glass of wine and open the biggest bar of chocolate you can find, sit comfortably, if you can borrow a cat or dog to pet (very therapeutic!) put on some music and have a therapeutic howl! Good luck.

nonnie1

Bbbevan, ?? I do that sometimes with Hoover, near the front door so even the postman can see!

Glad to have found this kind safe place.

Nonnie This is a safe place to vent as nobody knows you if you are discrete and it certainly helps to distract us from the real world.
At some point, however, we do have to re-engage with the real world and it is necessary to work out how to do it successfully. Counselling or just talking therapy can be very helpful as even hearing yourself talking about what happened can crystallise everything for you and often quite suddenly you just know how to deal with it and how you can move forward. It is possible that like so many others of us there are some things which just never go away and we have to work out how we can learn to live with it. Learning to recognise the triggers is one of those ways and it sounds as if you have already started identifying those.
So glad that you are going to see your doctor. (((hugs))) and coming your way!

Thank you to everyone on here who has posted and to those who made contact personally.

I am going to see my doctor. I think I should have gone before now but felt ok.

I don't always feel like this, but it comes and goes, and I have found that it starts with bad news either something I read or heard and then I get weepy and can't break the spell.

I hope my post perhaps helped anyone else who is feeling isolated or has something on their mind.

Bless you all x

I once had something I thought I couldnt share with anyone. And I am an open person.
But the problem I had, I thought I couldnt burden someone else with it.
But because it happened around bereavement, in the end I had to share, after I chose a person who I thought was best placed to tell it to, and that they were ok for me to do it.
The person concerned, and others knew I was cut up about something, so wanted me to share it.

Luckily, or perhaps because I had warned her it was not nice, or perhaps everyone is different so it didnt affect her as much, she only took it about 1/2 as bad as I thought she would, and was glad I had told her.

And it helped me immensely.

Not sure exactly what I am saying, but perhaps there is someone in your life who you could tell?

Yes Nonnie1 I think it's completely normal that you can become overwhelmed at any moment. That's the embarrassing thing, you never know when something will flick the switch and set you off but I do think it's normal. I prefer to have a good cry and destress rather than taking antidepressants/anxiety pills. To me this is the normal way of dealing with my feelings and I have had some counselling but in reality, somethings you never get over, you learn to cope and to manage them everyday. For me it's early days, two years is no time at all to get over a trauma, so I take each day at a time and if I'm reduced to tears, so be it.

Be kind to yourself. Hugs.

Nonnie - I do not think there is any virtue in trying to get better by yourself - it might help to talk it over with a counsellor - it does not mean you are weak - just human like the rest of us. We cannot always heal ourselves, but we are part of the human family and sharing the burden is what we do. Good to hear that there are people around at home with you.

Nonnie, it's so difficult to stop those unwanted memories popping up, and if keeping yourself busy on GN helps, that's great. And if you're helping keep us lot distracted at the same time, so much the better. What's the point of housework anyway?

I hope those bad memories get crowded out soon by all the good ones.

Nonnie, I have read some of your posts and it touches me that through your bad times you care for others. Otherwise you wouldn't contribute to comment on their woes. You sound as though you have people all around, but no one to talk to. Either a betrayal, personal bereavement, or a health problem you feel you can't burden your loved ones with. So good that you find comfort in talking to others on the site, where you can let off steam. Sometimes your opinions will be shot down in flames! Sometimes gratefully received. You are contributing, no matter what. I hope whatever your woes are, in time, all will be better. Chat away! Chat away!

Nonnie keep posting if it helps to talk. I can empathise, since having my shock diagnosis last year, I have had great support on here. It helps to talk to people other than family, you become concerned that you are burdening them.

Nonnie have sent you a PM.

X posts

Perhaps you need someone to talk it through with Nonnie, someone who is impartial

Nonnie just carry on reading and posting on here, there are good posts, contentious posts, interesting posts......and try to get the image out of your mind of GandTea being bashed about the ankles by a cleaner.....sounds rather cruel to the poor cleaner but who are we to judge eh?

And leave the duster in a prominent position (you were just going to start the housework!)

A bit of good advice from the midwife when DC2 was born: make sure there is food in the house, the children are fed and happy and that the bathroom is clean.
Leave everything else.

But I did do some baking for you:
It took no time at all
and

Remind me to have a word with Mrs G&T!

Indinana

I know, but I'm putting it off. I'd like to think I could heal myself, but just when I think it's getting better, I do it all again.

So sorry you have bad memories that you can't erase or talk about Nonnie. It's like having a scab that you can't help picking. You can cover it up with clothing but you know it's still there.

GN is a great place to come and chat away, distract yourself, have a laugh. Or have a moan, unburden yourself. There are always so many people who will rush to support you and help you through.

I do think, though, that you need to talk to someone about the issue. Perhaps not openly on here, but you could see a counsellor. It sounds as if you need that catharsis of unburdening your troubles to someone completely detached.

In the meantime, and ((((hugs))))

Advice on houseworknonnie Get the Hoover out,plug it in. Then go and do something you like. If anyone visits, you were just starting the cleaning. Simple!!
I hope you get to feel better soon. Till then keep on chatting

tiredoldwoman you are so right. It's 'safe' on here !