Are you a good judge of character?

So hard to tell I find; but if someone looks me in the eye on meeting and talks in an open and friendly manner then we are off to a good start. People are so complex; I have had friends/acquaintances who have occasionally shaken me to the core with behaviour that I hadn't expected and hadn't seen it coming.

Ajanela, you are right.At the end of the day(as they say),we all judge don't we,of course we do,it's human nature.
I'v had that,can't put my finger on it feeling as well Welshwife.I'v got it about a few celebrities.

I also think that some people are a slow burn, take a while to get to know but are worth the wait in the long run.

We all have an in built ability to judge, in times past we needed to tell almost instantly who was a danger to us, so yes feelings are important, but not the whole story.Sometimes you need a few meetings with somebody who you are not sure about.

In real life, face to face- I've always been a very instinctive 'good judge of character' (using title). Made a couple of mistakes in last few years on a Forum (not this one)- the distance of the web distorting and hiding some things which would be very apparent from the start.

One sense we all have is that when we feel or think something we look for things to confirm that opinion. So when we feel unsure about someone we will be looking for things to confirm our suspicions, whilst with someone we liked we might ignore that thing or reason it away. They may also react to us badly as they pick up our feelings.

But we are also picking up signals from people based on past experiences and often our morals are not the same as other people.

I should have made it clear - it is the now partner of the family member we have the qualms about - not the relation!

It is when you cannot put your finger on it that I find worrying. We have a situation with a young family member where a number of us feel this way but when you try to find a reason it is not obvious - they appear to tick all the boxes but OH, DD and a very good friend - we all say exactly the same. We are just vigilant and ready to pick up the pieces should it be necessary.

I usually get a "gut" feeling about someone but as I like to give people the benefit of the doubt have often ignored it only to find out I was right all along.

They do say ten seconds,and I often take an instant dislike to a person,but I wait to pass judgment,sometimes when you get to know a person,you can like them.I think you can Definatly see what sort of character a person has,wether they are genuine or not.

We had a vicar living in our street and from first seeing him he made me feel uncomfortable. I told DH but he told me he was a man of the cloth and not to be so suspicious. I noticed he stopped and talked to young girls so I sat in the window and watched but he never touched the girls, six months later he was charged with having sex with a minor and was sent to prison. I couldn't report this man because I didn't have any proof that he was doing anything but talking to girls but the body language was there. I think the arrest came after the girl involved told her mother that he was her boyfriend.

I'm not sure that anyone can say definitively that a person has a "bad" or a "good" character - they may just have views or behaviours that you personally find unacceptable or annoying but someone else might feel differently about.

I don't presume that I have good judgment about a person's character but there are certain people who I immediately like and feel comfortable chatting to and a very few people who I don't find relaxing company and who I just can't take to.

I think I am usually a little wary of new people. You do need to talk to someone for a while to get an impression of what they might be like. I think a lot of this "intuition" is instinctive and hard to define why you feel you could trust or not trust this particular person.
Jane A's 10 seconds is probably right.

It's possible to be open-minded about someone else's politics, opinions, religion etc but still be able to 'read' their character and personality through their facial expressions and body language.
Apparently most of us make our minds up about someone else within 10 seconds of meeting them for the first time.

Yes I know what you mean. DH has often laughed at my "warning bells" which sometimes I can't explain but, as others have said, just go off when I first meet someone and they (the bells) haven't let me/us down yet.
Have sometimes ignored bells at my peril.
I too have a bestie who really I don't have a lot in common with but, as soon as we met (ahem) years ago, we just hit it off and are still good friends today.

Yes,I'm an excellent judge of character,I'v never been wrong.I do take a while to make up my mind though,and never go by the look of a person.

I try not to judge on first time acquaintance, but sometimes it is just not possible is it, you get a 'feel' about someone, and quite often the feel is right. I find I can quite happily ignore people I do not particularly like the first time, but I am equally happy to come to know them better, and like them, so first impressions are not always right for me. I am a bit "learn as you go" - sometimes with nice surprises, and very occasionally a nasty shock. Like you Harrigran I have two very close friends - they do not know each other, but they are very similar and exact opposites to me. I count myself lucky to be able to call them friends.

My friend and I are chalk and cheese and our politics are polar opposites but I knew the first time I met her that she had a heart of gold and we would be friends for life. She has only been retired a few months but she comes and visits and always brings a home cooked meals, cakes and biscuits. Good as DH is he is not on the same scale as dear friend for cuisine.

One of my DD's friends who she thinks the world of and has been downright rude and ignorant towards me and DH. I struggle with that one a bit!

If someone is not a 'goodun' it can be well nigh impossible to 'see it coming' but you can't live well if you just keep your head down!

I am fairly trusting and accepting and think I am quite adept at judging character but I have learnt to take much more time and be very observant before trusting too much. Sad but true!

I try very hard not to be judgmental but usually find that I was right all along. A good example is The Idiot!!

The time I failed really badly was with DS1's girlfriend/wife who was so lovely and loved by us all until he needed her and she just walked away.

I do find it annoying when people make judgments about other people from the way they look, the books they read, their political allegiances etc.

I tend to go on 'feel', and ignoring any comments I've heard about the person. Does it work? Most of the time.

I agree and I am rarely wrong - if that doesn't sound too smug.

I like to think so, I have never been wrong yet.