Fragile parents

Your parents have asked you for help Julie and that is what they need right now, and probably in the future. It is upsetting to think of them getting frail but it is inevitable. Have a little weep at home to get it out of your system and then hopefully you can cope better with their requests.

It is always difficult to come to terms with the role reversal that happens when you become the 'parent', I know.

Plenty of people on GN have been in the same situation, so offload whenever you need to.

Personally I don't think it's a bad thing to get upset in front of them, it shows how much you care and that can only make them feel loved. Not going over the top but to show that you will be upset and not just be practical about it all is not a bad thing. I do wish I'd have shown my dad a bit more. I was practical, thinking I was helping and dealing with what we had to deal with but a few tears to show him how much he was going to be missed would have reassured him and I would now know that he knew how much I loved him. Anyone can say it, it's showing it that counts. I did hug him, of course, but a display of emotion would have been nice. I tried to keep him laughing.

It's very hard because you haven't done any of this before so it's alien to you. Try and get all the help you can with this. Have you any family members or close friends you can confide in and share your worries (apart from us on here)? Try Age UK, they might be able to help. Or look up any other organisation which you think might be appropriate. But it does seem like it is a box ticking exercise that they send to all people your parents ages. The trouble is, they don't realise that people are humans with feelings and not robots. Take care and look after yourself so that you can look after them.

Blimey what a cheerful Doc-he may have meant well but what a clod hopper. As others have said you're in the best position to know what they need eg housing situation and help coming in. If they do have life limiting conditions it does need (sensitively) addressing and, sadly, you're just going to have to "man up" I'm afraid so have a good old blub first, then deep breath and be cheerful with them Julie.

Sadly it's probably symptomatic of the pressure GPs are under nowadays. However, I can't imagine any of my GPs behaving quite that way. Sensitivity doesn't take up so very much time, surely.

Oh I suspect a bit of box ticking is going on here. Patients of a certain age need to fill in form.....
It might be good to have a chat but maybe in stages, starting with where they live. What might they need as they get older? Would they like to look at sheltered housing? Make it interesting, maybe do a couple of visits. My mum is 94 and I think this is partly due to the sheltered housing scheme she lives in. Very close to me, lots of activities and friends in the building so she socialises.
You can talk about other things later on.

!!!

Dreadful treatment by the doctor. I bet that cheered them up no end!

I think I would make an appointment to discuss this with the doctor in question.

This seems to have been handled less than sensitively by your parents' GP . Simply filling in a form is too impersonal IMHO. Would an enquiry to AGE UK perhaps be helpful?
I would try to remain as level headed about this as you can. Yes, it is an emotive issue especially if end of life care is involved, but most elderly people are much less sentimental and more pragmatic than their children might be.