What would you have done?

Team liquid I have just read this post. I am sure I would also have felt very intimidated in that situation. I am glad you phoned the school - they will take the matter very seriously even though you couldn't identify the pupils and they will address it on a pastoral level through assembly at the very least.

I think, as you say, it was very likely 'high spirits' and the young people concerned would not have thought of the impact of so many surrounding just one person. I hope they already feel sorry for being so thoughtless.

As you say, the battle now is not to give in to the fear that this has triggered. It is very, very unlikely that it would happen again - you were very unfortunate to have the encounter.

Many years ago, I was walking home from work when a youth passed by me, then came up behind me and screamed as loud as he could in my face, just for the 'fun' of shocking me. I used to feel my heart race for several weeks afterwards, but there was never a repeat of this incident. I know it takes time, but the panicky feelings will fade.
xx

Yes, give me hell spray anytime!

Ha, ha, Elrel , hell spray sounds more effective than plain old gel spray.

I think I might need a hell spray!

That was a nasty incident, I hope you'll gradually put it behind you now you've contacted the school and the police, and of course, Gransnet. These threads can give wonderful support and reassurance.
I phone or email schools as soon as I can when I've seen identifiable pupils behaving badly and also should pupils be noticeably courteous or helpful. As a retired teacher in various types of schools I know that this feedback is welcome. On one occasion three boys were being boisterous near a bus shelter and one threw a bottle which shattered on the shelter. I took a couple of photos, rang the the school and forwarded the photos. I think he would have a surprise next morning and might reconsider being so irresponsible next time.

If that happened here, I would contact the PCSOs who have done a lot of work with young people to curb anti-social behaviour, and ask them to take a walk up my street at the end of the school day, for a week or so and find out if there are any habitual trouble-makers using that route. They would make it clear that they had their eye on them.

Teamliquid 123, so glad you feel a bit better now and that the police and school have been supportive. No way are you "weak and feeble". You've dealt with the incident in just the right way and should pat yourself on the back.

Please do not torture yourself going back over the event. It is over and you are safe. I am pleased you told the school and remember 99% of us would have felt the same way. You were not at all weak you reacted instinctively as would most of us.

Thank you all for the replies, advice and encouragement . I phoned the school and explained the incident and they were very helpful and understanding. I recognised the uniform as being that of the school in the village. The police advices a non confrontational approach , leave the location as quickly as you can and don't worry about a dent in your pride. Perhaps this group was harmless but you could encounter a group that you don't know " what they are on and what they carry".
I am trying not to feed the fear and today I just went to work at my normal time came back at the normal time without looking at the watch in order to avoid that feeling of panic " what if school just finished and they are walking my way". Anyway , you were of great help to me with your suggestions and by saying that you would probably have done the same as me. I can understand my fear but I didn't expect to feel such anger towards myself for appearing weak and feeble and an easy target.
Something I learned today from talking to the police: Pepper spray /Mace spray is illegal in UK. You could be prosecuted for even carying one never mind pointing it to someone. There is however a hell spray that doesn't contain any dangerous chemicals but it would mark the skin or clothes of the person who is threatening you. That is legal. I will find out the correct name and come back with it. I am ok now, feel very brave but I hate it when in the middle of the night my heart shrinks when I remember the incident. And of course I now know just what I should have said and done..
You've been great, thank you.
And it is a gel spray not a hell spray but can't go back to edit the text!!

Eloethan I don't know if it's legal to use Mace in this country. But I'm not the sort of person who thinks " these pond life want to hurt me, mmmm, let me think, shall I use my mace" I'd use it first and face the consequences.
We had to use it in Calais when ' uninvited passengers' we're trying to get in our Motohome.

Teamliquid I don't know what I would have done in the circumstances, but I would definitely contact your local team of PCSO's and tell them about the incident now. They really are very good at giving advice and will know to keep an eye out for the ruffians. Our local PCSO's are very knowledgeable about such things and can nip problems in the bud before they escalate.

because it was a horrid experience.

That last sentence was meant for team

Ruby it is really quite impossible to understand the motive for so many of the things young (and not so young) people do now. Quite honestly, gathering round anyone, woman, man, old or young is an act of aggression, which seems to be all around us these days. I would most certainly have phone the police, they like to know about these things, and I am sure they would have been able to help you with your worries.

You are not a coward , confronting them may have been very unwise , I think you were sensible

What a society we live in when we can't even walk home from work without being threatened by people. Who should, really at teenage, know better. Well, they probably do, they were probably just being stupid.

There's a bunch of them who frequently go down our back street, kicking bins over, banging on the garage doors, all for what? Testosterone. Bravado. Pushing limits. Because there is no deterrant and they are not scared of anyone the same like we were when we were teenagers. Discipline needs to be brought back into schools and the home and pretty soon or the young will rule us all with an iron rod.

Teamliquid I think I would have done as you did. If you had confronted any of them they may have backed off but on the other hand they may well have turned even nastier. I think it's perfectly understandable that you were frightened - it would have frightened me too.

My first instinct would have been to tell the police because, to my mind, this was threatening behaviour. But, on reflection, I would tell the school or, if you don't know which school, contact the schools local to you. The head teachers can always bring the matter up in assembly (or whatever they call it these days).

Do you think it might help to talk this over with Victim Support? It seems that this incident has unnerved you.

I wonder if carrying a personal alarm might give you more confidence.

petra Is it legal to spray someone with Mace?

Even if you were unsure what school the were from I would still contact the local (most likely) schools to report itif they were in uniform. It may be too late to do anything but schools can't do anything if they do not know about things.
If they were on holiday then it is harder as they are the responsibility of parents.

It is always easier to think what you should have dome after the event! Don't worry about your response we often respond spontaneously. If teens are being a bit anti-social in the street it is a hard call and our instinct is usually to get away from potential threat.

I have told a group of teens behaving similarly to the ones you describe teamliquid to "Oh, Bu**er Off" and did it with a grin. They did look a bit sheepish and ran off giggling and laughing..but often a gamble!

I would have sprayed them with my can of Mace.

You're not a coward at all-you were being sensible. As annsixty says if you recognised their uniform ring the school so they can give them all a good talking too. It could be as you said they were just in high spirits and just showing off. We've all done stupid things when we were young. Tell yourself it was a one off and hold your head high?

Thank you for your replies. I now can accept that fear was a normal reaction to that situation and not confronting them was the best thing to do. I must remind myself that this hasn't happened to me before and that not all young people are aggressive. Perhaps they were just showing off in front of the girls. Thank you again, I don't feel such a coward now.

I can remember giving some young pupils hell once - they were abusing and mocking a female E European Big Issue seller. I just saw red - they were from the cathedral school and were very privileged young people. I told them their mothers would be ashamed of them.

Teamliquid123 that was terrible. As you were on your own I think that you did the right thing. One of the problems is the crowd mentality - hopefully none of these young people would have behaved so dreadfully individually. I am sorry that you had this terrible fright.

Now I would have been very scared although at one time I would have cha!lenged them. I have spoken to children swearing when I had my GC with me and insisted on bigger children leaving a play park when they wouldn't let appropriately aged children on the equipment and both time they backed down. But I was younger then and if this happened,as happened to you I would have frozen and got out of it as soon was possible. If I recognised the uniform I would certainly ring the school and report the incident.