Soop's friendly KITCHENERS

wot don't feel on your own. My H of 57 years who has Alzheimer's is often asleep by 7.30/8 pm after our meal. I watch TV until about 9pm when I wake him and we go to bed. I remember a past life with nostalgia and regret but deal with it. There is no alternative for you and gets me through.

I'd love to join you! I think my partner just can't really relate to anyone although he'd like to. His ex wife found him to be the same. He starts off sociable but when it comes to one to one he doesn't need anyone. He, himself suggested that he had Aspergers. After 15 years of it, I feel I could die. I'm not after sex just want companionship but that's anathema to him. He is very affectionate to any animals we have though. His mum completely cut him out of her will because of his cold ways. I shouldn't be coming out with all this as its difficult to comprehend. Nobody believes me anyway.

I'm back.
I'll catch up tomorrow

But I always feel pangs when I think how things could should have been. Maybe he has Alzheimer's but he always been a loner. He's only friend as a child was his dog, whiskey. But then why did he always search for a partner.??

You have your bad knee to contend with as well, ann60 .I shouldn't be moaning with my comparative good health.

We should go on holiday. Oh how I wish, we will imagine how good it would be. I long to sit out after a lovely dinner with a bottle of wine (or two) setting the world to rights and watching the world go by. I have of course done all this but I want to do it all again before it is too late.

Oh, I would love to do that with you!! As I am a (much condemned for it) spiritualist, I think we will one day.

annsixty, have a lovely dream tonight, with us sitting on the sand, a beautiful sunset and endless wine for us.

wot I am so sorry. It must be very lonely for you. Your husband must be aware of it if he himself thinks he has Aspergers. No consolation I know but if he does have Aspergers, then there is probably very little he can do about it either. Do you have any common interests ? You ask why he searched for a partner, maybe he is lonely in his own way. Autism in all it's forms creates so many problems for those who suffer from it and those who care for them ((huggs))

Welcome back Galen. Hope you had a good cruise. Did you bring us back a pressy #hopeful.

Can I come in? I'm feeling very lonely

Ive just popped in before bed so will be back tomorrow . Some very sad thoughts here tonight and my heart goes out t you all.

Of course you can come in bohemian soop welcomes everyone to her kitchen and there are a great many kitcheners here to offer a hug or just a listening ear xx

Thank you NanaandGrampy Usually I can cope on a(nother) Saturday night on my own but tonight the coping isn't doing too well :-(

Oh, Bohemian, please do come in! You're most welcome. This loneliness is a curse, isn't it? Just waiting for sleepiness to come and get us away from our evenings. Thank goodness we can connect and know we are not alone x x

It feels like everyone else has someone, be it a partner or husband, I feel so alone

But having a partner who doesn't like you is worse than no partner. Try to go to sleep and then this lonely night will be gone. Maybe we should set up a lonely hearts club for people who are alone or as near to it as dammit.

We have each other, even if we are not present in the flesh. So we are lucky really. Xxxxx

Good Morning all - I happen to have a few all butter croissants going spare and some very nice apricot and amaretto jam if you're interested !!

Sorry to hear you're still in pain Pompa - its exhausting and the worry doesn't help. Roll on the next scan !! Pace yourself with all this virtual hugging

soop your boundless energy is amazing . Sometimes I'm tired just thinking about all the painting and such you do. I love the little boxes with treasure in. Children find such pleasure in those sorts of things . I can foresee a very happy young man in your near future and I am soooo impressed that bags had a compass to hand ! There's more than a bit of Girl Guide in that

I'm sorry to hear you feel so lonely wot nothing worse than being lonely in a relationship. What would cheer you up - outside of your husbands company? A nice treat? A TV programme or book you would love to see? Perhaps it is time to stop hoping for him to change and for you to make changes to your benefit - whatever they might be? How can we help - even virtually?

Charleygirl I did laugh - it sounds like you were born , married and divorced in the time it took to tidy up !!

Welcome home Galen I hope you have tales of daring do on the high seas to share?

Bohemian that's very sad . I don't know what I can say that would offer comfort. I guess I would ask what would make you feel better? Given that we can't send over a person to stop your loneliness - what else would make you feel less isolated? I was just thinking yesterday that I was going to pop Grampy under the patio in the garden because he has become my shadow since we retired. I am used to having a lot of space as he worked shifts for 40 years and I often worked away from home. Now I am thinking he has won a reprieve he has most of his marbles ( although sometimes that's doubtful) he keeps me company on a Saturday night and I am not lonely. So I thank you for giving me a reality check !!

I hope Sunday is filled with good coffee and good weather for you all x

boheminan many of us on this thread are on our own and as previously described, some with partners are as good as. I have been on my own since 1988 when my ex found the lerv of his life and married her. I am delighted to say that he regretted it 6 months later!

You do not have to be lonely- I am not although I do spend quite a time on my own. You have us lot here. Some of it is mind over matter.

Galen delighted to here that you have returned from slumming it on the ocean waves. Time to get used to dry land again although if I remember you are off again in June with Bellasnanna.

Good morning everyone. I often lurk quietly just inside the kitchen door without saying a word.

Some of you don't have your troubles to seek and reading about them puts my minor ones in their place.

I hope today is a happier day all round.

I've brought my welcome with me, a tea loaf and some banana muffins, please tuck in.

baubles normally I would or could die for banana muffins but today I am going out for lunch- that is if I ever get off this machine and get myself showered and dressed.

N&G unfortunately I never did find my birth certificate although I have not given up yet. I had also lost 2 cheque books and they are also nowhere to be found. My house looks as though it has been burgled and Tara loved having fun with a carrier bag full of paper for the bin.

You lot as usual are stopping me from doing some work.

I agree Charleygirl about mind over matter. I think there is an element of being happy with your lot and making relevant changes. The world is not like Noah's ark , 2x2 . Lots of people are alone one way or another and maybe it's about finding those things that make you happy, even alone. There was a thread about the simple things and I think that's important .

Maybe if you can fill some parts of your life with things that make you happy it can help in the parts that make you unhappy . I don't know , there are others here who have more worries than me , maybe they have good coping methods?

Welcome * baubles* I do like a banana muffin but will save mine for elevenses!

I feel that sometimes one is better off on one's own than living with some partners. I am not including illness in this comment.

I enjoy the simple things in life- unfortunately most of my friends are scattered throughout the country so do not meet up any more. I enjoy my home whereas two of my friends are rarely in theirs.

I agree that there are many people who pop onto this thread who have mega worries.

I have to go now as you lot have kept me from showering and dressing - I am going out for lunch very soon.

You will always find a warm welcome in the kitchen Bohemian. Thanks to Soop the kitchen is a safe haven for all and there is always someone around for company, ((huggs)) and support. We may be virtual pals but our concern and thoughts of others are real enough. As you can see from others posts you are not the only one to feel lonely. Sit and have a while we wait for Galen to come in and tell us all about her cruise.

Hello and, (gasp) how wonderfully busy you've all been. Do you realise that we're already half way to needing a new extension?

First things first. Bohemian...you are welcome with open arms to our kitchen. Please feel free to discuss whatever you wish with us lot because, there are many Kitcheners with big hearts who will try their very best to offer you support. We all have experiences that have coloured our lives. I KNOW how awful loneliness can be. I've been there, big time. Thankfully, I met my present husband on Dateline some 27 plus years ago. It took a lot of "guts" for me to reach out for companionship. I am truly happy that I took that step.
Do you have a good friend with whom you can share simple pleasures? I met that bags when she travelled to visit me in a hospital in Glasgow. That was some time ago. We meet from time to time...to chat and catch up with stuff that is going on in our lives. Those meetings have been invaluable for me. Perhaps there is a would-be friend in this very kitchen with whom you can connect. I would love that to be so.