Older grans babysitting

This weekend Fri to Sun we are looking after our two GSs 5 and 3 whilst their parents have a much needed break in Amsterdam.

We are 69 and 70 and I definitely do not have the energy for a whole weekend, but I have agreed.

I am really nervous about this as the little one does have some health issues.

Someone without a family said to me today 'you are so lucky to be a grandparent' so I must remember this when I am tearing my hair out.

If you don't hear from me again I didn't survive !

Whether you can cope depends on your circumstances. I did 19 years of regular childcare for grandchildren and last year, aged 70, I couldn't wait for the youngest to start school.
It wasn't all the physical effort, more the boredom of 8 hours indoors doing 4 year old things. Wet summer, no car, nothing whatsoever to do for children in a small country town.
It gets much easier when they are older and suddenly now my 2 eldest are grown up and able and willing to help me.

I am 70 and my husband is 72. For over ten years we have been legal guardians to two of our grandsons, now aged fourteenand-a-half and ten-and-a-half. Yes, there are times when I'm knackered, but I wouldn't change a thing.

I`ve been child minder to several grandchildren over the years whilst their mums worked. The last one was from me being 64 almost 65, until I was just turned 69, when he started school. I really do miss him still, and have him to sleep over occasionally, but wouldn`t have the energy anymore to cope with a baby, as he was only 9 months when I first had him 5 days a week.

greyduster I can be pretty crabby with the GSs too, but I think they usually know why!

It is so lovely to hear of all the GPs who are so involved in the lives of their DGC and feel that it augers well for the future.

Sadly we live too far away to be as 'hands on' as that but we still seem to have really good relationships with them. DDIL had large blown up photos of all the GPs so that when we see them the DGC know all about us and happily interact from the first minute we see each other. The photos seem to have been key to all that so it was a brilliant idea.

Health issues would have prevented me from doing very much anyway so perhaps being at a distance has prevented much angst.

I really don't know what to think about GPs being pressured to take on more than they feel able to do as I just can't relate to that at all and I wonder where they get these ideas from. Our DS and DDIL never expect anything of anyone and are very organised themselves whilst also working and doing much in the community too. This has had a knock-on effect on the children and they are all very capable when directed.

I could have written your post, oldgoat, right down to the ages of both yourselves and your grandchildren. Except that I am the one who tends to have a bit of a short fuse these days. DH is always an oasis of calm in a dessert of frayed tempers!

I will be 70 later this year and OH is 73. We looked after the GSs for several days a week until they started school and now have them for breakfast, school run and pick-up every day except Friday afternoons. I love their company , except when the younger one is playing up, and am friends with lots of the parents that I meet at school.
We are lucky to be in pretty good health. OH enjoys cooking their afternoon meal though he keeps out of their way in the mornings. The main problem is that he is often quite bad tempered with the GCs though he will help them with school projects and just helped to make a lovely Roman shield.
We are having the boys for a stop-over later this week, and having been away for a few days on our own, I can't wait to see them. In two years time they will both be at secondary school and we won't see that much of them any more. Sad.

I am sad that I can do so much less for my youngest GC (14 months) than I did for her siblings and cousins. I am unable to lift her without pain so can't get her into or out of the bath or travel cot. Nor can I get to her quickly when needed or easily move her away from doors which are likely to be opened.
I regret that I can't offer to look after her on my own for longer than a few hours. We still have great fun playing and I can feed and change her but I miss the confidence I had with the older GC.

I'm a granny to twins aged 3 and a step gran to a 9yr old. Together with my husband I have tried to help our son and his wife as best as we can. They live about 200 miles from us. There isn't anyone else nearby to offer support as my DIL's family live overseas. In the early days it was tough driving up and down the motorway network just to give the parents a break! As the twins grew older we started to have them stay with us for 3 or 4 nights and also their older sibling at times too. Husband and I are both in our mid 60's. I must admit The old energy levels aren't what they were, sadly, but we love having the kids to stay and my son and his wife really appreciate our input. Mind you, it's great when we return them to their parents!
All credit to those grandparents who look after their grandchildren regularly I don't know how you do it.

Older grans? I'm only 55, but already find caring for a 3- and a 4-year-old up to three days a week totally exhausting, even though the elder one is at school from 9am to 3.15pm! I love them to bits, but they are not the easiest of children, and sometimes it feels like one long battle of wills from start to finish, leaving me both mentally and physically drained by the end of the day.

I have had my grandson living with me since he was born. I look after him from 6am - 8-8.30pm (daughter a nurse and works 12 hr shifts). I love him to bits. I will be 64yrs old next month and warning/telling you - it is hard hard work. As much as you love your grandchildren be perpared for long long days - mealtimes,bathtimes! He is such precious little boy - but its the treatment from daughter that spoils it all. When I asked to be paid for extra days 6 days out of 8 days!!!! I was treated like a leper.

Don't let your children use you until it becomes unbearable when it comes to the grandchildren - make boundries - extra days are to be paid for. I don't charge for her normal shift work - 14hr day - but would expect something for days she gets off and does her thing!!!.

I cannot believe some of the stories I hear. TAKE NOTE and start with boundries and what you expect and what they expect. That way everyone is happy.

Rocknanny My daughter admitted to feeling exasperated with me because I often don't seem very eager about looking after my DGD

I don't think she should expect you to look after her!! Is it the younger generation? Although I must say my DC always seem very grateful and anxious that looking after the DGC is not too much for us.

You should tell her that you adore seeing your DGD but you find sole care of her very tiring and that you feel anxious that you may do something wrong when you are looking after her.
(I am more anxious with my DGD than I was with the DC.)

Yes, know how you feel, rock nanny.

I am made to feel guilty if I am less than enthusiastic about babysitting.

I love my Gs dearly, but with my back problem, I can't pick him up for long.
Hopefully, it will get better once he is able to sit up unaided.
But then, oh dear! He will probably be crawling as well.

The hazards of grandparenting in older age, Aye?

P.s. I also feel anxious about his welfare, eg. Accidents etc.
I dread anything happening to him whilst in my care.

Help! I'm tired just reading all your posts and I'm only 56! DGS aged 14 months comes each Wednesday and as our house isn't large, I find it wearing to be constantly making sure he's not getting into mischief as he's now walking. I also have two jobs, a mother with Alzheimer's and a full diary of voluntary commitments but I wouldn't change my Wednesdays for anything! I'm a Norland Nanny too so think my DD has quite high expectations of me, but I would just love some of the energy back that I took for granted when she was small!

I'm 70 and look after my 16 month old DGS one day a week and yes it is exhausting. I occasionally have him and his sister 3yrs 4mnths for a day and that is shattering. But they are adorable and I love seeing them. All the fun and none of the responsibility! Nothing else allows you to play hide-oh under a blanket, have your hair brushed and be dressed as a princess.

We were 55 and 60 when our only (so far at least) granddaughter arrived. From when she got out of hospital at 2 months we did overnight visits and 'did the night shift' with her to let mum and dad get a sleep. A month later we moved to the same town and did some all day babysitting (no over-nighters till she was 8 months and beyond the cot death danger apparently) and were completely exhausted by the end of the day! She wouldn't sleep, refused bottles etc etc etc.
I'm not sure how we would have coped being a decade older!

Now she is a delightful 2 and a bit year old and we have her overnight once a week and quite often other days too. She is an absolute joy, although she refuses to talk more than a very few words, won't entertain potty training and wants to get her own way more and more!!!

Oh my ! I so admire those of you who have posted here (and others like you) who are in your 60's and 70's. I am only 54 with one DGD who will be 3 in July. Her sister is due in early June and I am already fretting how I will cope with looking after 2 grandchildren. I get physically tired as I could do with losing weight and I have some osteoarthritis. I also work part-time in a job that involves much standing and stair-climbing. I was with my daughter the other day and we got discussing my babysitting - or lack of it . I look after my DGD now and again but it turns out that her paternal grandparents are babysitting much more than I am. My daughter admitted to feeling exasperated with me because I often don't seem very eager about looking after my DGD. I love her to bits and everything she does amazes me . However, as I admitted to my DD, I get pretty anxious (I am anxious by nature) about doing something, with regard to her care, that might displease her parents. I still feel like I have to watch her almost constantly and my daughter tried to reassure me that this isn't so necessary now she is older and more capable. My DD said that she and my SIL have never expected me to babysit (same for any of the grandparents); they chose to have children and it is ultimately their responsibility. However, she is pretty canny with emotional persuasion and in saying that they ask the paternal grandparents to babysit more than they ask me (I used to do the same . Karma ? ), and that DD's father and stepmother drive a good distance to spend just a few hours with their DGD, I now feel embarrassed and guilty. I try to give my everything when I am with my DGD but, like I told my DD, I have got used to living on my own and being happy with my own company and I think this is a factor in how I view babysitting. I am at a bit of a loss now as to how to change things so that my DD and SIL do not feel disappointed in me .

My grandson has lived with me since birth...now 12. He and his many pals are always in and out of the house, having meals, drinks, snacks and even sleepovers. They play pranks on each other which is funny.
Now that the school hols are here again we'll be out and about too.
I take them to rugby twice a week, 9am on Sundays and to boxing training. I'm of course up at 7am on schooldays. I walk his dog while he's at school. It keeps me feeling young and keeps me fit. I get great hugs from him and every day he tells me he loves me..... they won't go on much longer so I appreciate them while I can .
I LOVE it and wouldn't have it any other way. I'm sure grandparents who don't have contact with their grandchildren would love the opportunity I've had.

I feel as if I have been baby sitting/child minding all my life. My own children and then my grandchildren were well spread out in age.
Frankly, now at 78, I have had enough. My youngest grandchild is now
13 and is being home-schooled, so I have become her English teacher.
It never ends! But, I do love them all and am aware of what richness they have added to my life. It's just that enough is enough.

I was 71 when the first of our three was born. We travelled to them once a week to look after her once she was a year old and my daughter went back to her job as a teacher. She only worked two days and the other GPs did the other day. It was a long journey and that alone was exhausting. I found the day tiring but I felt privileged too and we bonded so well with our lovely little girl. We were with her when she took her first steps too - what a joy. She goes to nursery now as does her sister. I do frequent babysitting for their boy cousin but he's much nearer though far more exhausting. I just about cope! Time alone with any of them guarantees a good night's sleep !

At 65 I find the 2x days looking after a 3yr old (having been up to be on duty for 7:30 for two older DGCs school run) and then collecting and caring for all 4 DGCs from end of school to 6ish are my most tiring days! Think I would find the 100% demand on attention from a baby exhausting now..I did do it for both DGS for 2 x days a week but was eight /three years younger! Why does the aging process seem to accelerate when you get to mid 60s! Or is it just me?? I am reasonably fit but the aches and pains get more noticable by the day

Right get up off the sofa and go to collect the maure and mulch..i am on a mission today..the garden maybe harder work than a demanding child!

I was sixty and DH sixty four when our only grandchild was born. He is now nine. From day one we looked after him for two days while DD was at work. I can't imagine looking after a baby or - more especially a toddler - now. GS is a very active child - like my own son at that age, if he has to stay indoors for too long he's like a caged tiger - and his level of activity and the rate at which both of us seem to have run out of steam is increasing exponentially! He still expects DH to play football, even when he has his friends there and we are just supposed to be watching over a kick about in the park (and it can all get a bit fast and furious) and of course grandad can't help letting himself be drawn in! Then he can't get up the next day. Children don't understand the concept of ageing! I am not so much physically challenged by him as mentally. He will argue the hind leg off a donkey in his efforts to get his own way (and he's so charming with it!) and I find that just as exhausting as any physical activity. Like a verbal Chinese water torture! BUT... I would rather be run into the ground than not to have our time together, which is a great joy.

Oh how I agree about the special rewards anne - the two I had the most involvement with are now in their twenties and have their own homes - b oth invite us for meals and meet us out or DGD comes and takes me out when she has a day off. Both keep in touch at other times via a text, call or message. I feel now I am so reaping the benefits of earlier times. I have told DGD that when I am in an old folks home she is never to come visiting without a pair of tweezers in her bag!!

I was heartbroken when my daughter told me her children would be going to nurseries when they were six months old. I could not imagine doing that with my children, but she said that young babies were tiring, and she did not want me to be making myself tired looking after her children. She was right, if I did have to have the grand-children when they were younger I was exhausted at the end of the day. We were 'older' grandparents, and grateful to our daughter for her consideration.