Older grans babysitting

We were 55 and 60 when our only (so far at least) granddaughter arrived. From when she got out of hospital at 2 months we did overnight visits and 'did the night shift' with her to let mum and dad get a sleep. A month later we moved to the same town and did some all day babysitting (no over-nighters till she was 8 months and beyond the cot death danger apparently) and were completely exhausted by the end of the day! She wouldn't sleep, refused bottles etc etc etc.
I'm not sure how we would have coped being a decade older!

Now she is a delightful 2 and a bit year old and we have her overnight once a week and quite often other days too. She is an absolute joy, although she refuses to talk more than a very few words, won't entertain potty training and wants to get her own way more and more!!!

I'm 70 and look after my 16 month old DGS one day a week and yes it is exhausting. I occasionally have him and his sister 3yrs 4mnths for a day and that is shattering. But they are adorable and I love seeing them. All the fun and none of the responsibility! Nothing else allows you to play hide-oh under a blanket, have your hair brushed and be dressed as a princess.

Help! I'm tired just reading all your posts and I'm only 56! DGS aged 14 months comes each Wednesday and as our house isn't large, I find it wearing to be constantly making sure he's not getting into mischief as he's now walking. I also have two jobs, a mother with Alzheimer's and a full diary of voluntary commitments but I wouldn't change my Wednesdays for anything! I'm a Norland Nanny too so think my DD has quite high expectations of me, but I would just love some of the energy back that I took for granted when she was small!

Yes, know how you feel, rock nanny.

I am made to feel guilty if I am less than enthusiastic about babysitting.

I love my Gs dearly, but with my back problem, I can't pick him up for long.
Hopefully, it will get better once he is able to sit up unaided.
But then, oh dear! He will probably be crawling as well.

The hazards of grandparenting in older age, Aye?

P.s. I also feel anxious about his welfare, eg. Accidents etc.
I dread anything happening to him whilst in my care.

Rocknanny My daughter admitted to feeling exasperated with me because I often don't seem very eager about looking after my DGD

I don't think she should expect you to look after her!! Is it the younger generation? Although I must say my DC always seem very grateful and anxious that looking after the DGC is not too much for us.

You should tell her that you adore seeing your DGD but you find sole care of her very tiring and that you feel anxious that you may do something wrong when you are looking after her.
(I am more anxious with my DGD than I was with the DC.)

I have had my grandson living with me since he was born. I look after him from 6am - 8-8.30pm (daughter a nurse and works 12 hr shifts). I love him to bits. I will be 64yrs old next month and warning/telling you - it is hard hard work. As much as you love your grandchildren be perpared for long long days - mealtimes,bathtimes! He is such precious little boy - but its the treatment from daughter that spoils it all. When I asked to be paid for extra days 6 days out of 8 days!!!! I was treated like a leper.

Don't let your children use you until it becomes unbearable when it comes to the grandchildren - make boundries - extra days are to be paid for. I don't charge for her normal shift work - 14hr day - but would expect something for days she gets off and does her thing!!!.

I cannot believe some of the stories I hear. TAKE NOTE and start with boundries and what you expect and what they expect. That way everyone is happy.

Older grans? I'm only 55, but already find caring for a 3- and a 4-year-old up to three days a week totally exhausting, even though the elder one is at school from 9am to 3.15pm! I love them to bits, but they are not the easiest of children, and sometimes it feels like one long battle of wills from start to finish, leaving me both mentally and physically drained by the end of the day.

I'm a granny to twins aged 3 and a step gran to a 9yr old. Together with my husband I have tried to help our son and his wife as best as we can. They live about 200 miles from us. There isn't anyone else nearby to offer support as my DIL's family live overseas. In the early days it was tough driving up and down the motorway network just to give the parents a break! As the twins grew older we started to have them stay with us for 3 or 4 nights and also their older sibling at times too. Husband and I are both in our mid 60's. I must admit The old energy levels aren't what they were, sadly, but we love having the kids to stay and my son and his wife really appreciate our input. Mind you, it's great when we return them to their parents!
All credit to those grandparents who look after their grandchildren regularly I don't know how you do it.

I am sad that I can do so much less for my youngest GC (14 months) than I did for her siblings and cousins. I am unable to lift her without pain so can't get her into or out of the bath or travel cot. Nor can I get to her quickly when needed or easily move her away from doors which are likely to be opened.
I regret that I can't offer to look after her on my own for longer than a few hours. We still have great fun playing and I can feed and change her but I miss the confidence I had with the older GC.

I will be 70 later this year and OH is 73. We looked after the GSs for several days a week until they started school and now have them for breakfast, school run and pick-up every day except Friday afternoons. I love their company , except when the younger one is playing up, and am friends with lots of the parents that I meet at school.
We are lucky to be in pretty good health. OH enjoys cooking their afternoon meal though he keeps out of their way in the mornings. The main problem is that he is often quite bad tempered with the GCs though he will help them with school projects and just helped to make a lovely Roman shield.
We are having the boys for a stop-over later this week, and having been away for a few days on our own, I can't wait to see them. In two years time they will both be at secondary school and we won't see that much of them any more. Sad.

I could have written your post, oldgoat, right down to the ages of both yourselves and your grandchildren. Except that I am the one who tends to have a bit of a short fuse these days. DH is always an oasis of calm in a dessert of frayed tempers!

It is so lovely to hear of all the GPs who are so involved in the lives of their DGC and feel that it augers well for the future.

Sadly we live too far away to be as 'hands on' as that but we still seem to have really good relationships with them. DDIL had large blown up photos of all the GPs so that when we see them the DGC know all about us and happily interact from the first minute we see each other. The photos seem to have been key to all that so it was a brilliant idea.

Health issues would have prevented me from doing very much anyway so perhaps being at a distance has prevented much angst.

I really don't know what to think about GPs being pressured to take on more than they feel able to do as I just can't relate to that at all and I wonder where they get these ideas from. Our DS and DDIL never expect anything of anyone and are very organised themselves whilst also working and doing much in the community too. This has had a knock-on effect on the children and they are all very capable when directed.

greyduster I can be pretty crabby with the GSs too, but I think they usually know why!

I`ve been child minder to several grandchildren over the years whilst their mums worked. The last one was from me being 64 almost 65, until I was just turned 69, when he started school. I really do miss him still, and have him to sleep over occasionally, but wouldn`t have the energy anymore to cope with a baby, as he was only 9 months when I first had him 5 days a week.

I am 70 and my husband is 72. For over ten years we have been legal guardians to two of our grandsons, now aged fourteenand-a-half and ten-and-a-half. Yes, there are times when I'm knackered, but I wouldn't change a thing.

Whether you can cope depends on your circumstances. I did 19 years of regular childcare for grandchildren and last year, aged 70, I couldn't wait for the youngest to start school.
It wasn't all the physical effort, more the boredom of 8 hours indoors doing 4 year old things. Wet summer, no car, nothing whatsoever to do for children in a small country town.
It gets much easier when they are older and suddenly now my 2 eldest are grown up and able and willing to help me.

This weekend Fri to Sun we are looking after our two GSs 5 and 3 whilst their parents have a much needed break in Amsterdam.

We are 69 and 70 and I definitely do not have the energy for a whole weekend, but I have agreed.

I am really nervous about this as the little one does have some health issues.

Someone without a family said to me today 'you are so lucky to be a grandparent' so I must remember this when I am tearing my hair out.

If you don't hear from me again I didn't survive !

Them living too far away does have some benefits. We just get the good bits and no caring responsibilities. The deciding factor was not emotional or family related, more the cost of trains and geographical logistics.

We have just had the grandsons (2 and 4) for 2 nights. Mum and Dad stayed locally in a lovely hotel! We are still absolutely knackered from getting up at 5.45! We love having them and have thought endlessly about moving nearer to them as it's a 3 hour journey. But they love coming here. We live by a river in easy walking distance to the centre of our little town and the park etc. We have a great time. The thing that gets us is it's constant from 5.45 to 7.30 when they go to bed. My DD and SIL were very grateful for 2 good nights sleep and lazy mornings. So yes we do find it tiring. I'm 66 and OH is 70.

I looked after my first grandson (now 4-1/2) for two days a week from a year old, but mainly in my home - but I used to take him out for day trips. Since my second grandson was born (2 in May) I have looked after them both one day a week at my daughter's house, which I have okay but I tend to end up doing some of her cleaning and gardening too! It got more difficult when the older boy started at an afternoon nursery class from 12.40-3pm. I have to give them an early lunch to be able to leave by 12.20pm to walk to the school. I come back and put the second one for an a sleep and then have to leave at 2.40pm for that uphill walk back to the collect the older one. I miss our days out, there's not enough time to do much in the morning other than go to the park. However, yesterday my son-in-law was on holiday and as the school is on Easter holidays I took the 4 year old up to London Zoo and we had an absolutely fantastic day - but I was exhausted in the evening. However, I wouldn't change it for the world and my husband is very jealous that he's working and not able to spend so much time with the boys. My daughter's in-laws live in Sardinia and don't have much opportunity to see their two grandsons - other than when the family goes out there for two weeks each year. I didn't know any of my grandparents and I cherish the fact that my grandsons will have a different experience.

I look after my 2 grandsons and have done since they were 9 months old when my daughter went back to work. The eldest is now 8 and the youngest 5 and now attend school. It as been hard work and we are now doing the school run as they come to us everyday at 7.45 am however when I look back I see how lucky we have been to have been able to do this not only for my daughter but also for us. The memories we have are endless and I know we have been so lucky to have had them entrusted to us. When they aren't with us I find life can be boring as they have given us a purpose as we have got older. I am 69 and my hubby is 70. Trust me you may feel tired but so fulfilled.

Isn't it lovely to realise you are not alone? So reassuring to read others trials and tribulations on here. I've been beating myself up thinking I can't cope for much longer with my delightful but very wearing grandchildren. I've been looking after them for eight years during the week 7.30am til 5.30pm. Littlest starts school in September Hurrah! I can do it!

I am 65 with PD. We have 6 grandchildren living a mile away from us and I have looked after them all in turn - the eldest is 13. Since my diagnosis 4 years ago we have acquired twins of 17 months. They were a delightful surprise addition to the family but they are exhausting. A gin and tonic or glass of wine is a necessity once I get home! However the relationships that I have forged with each and every one of them makes it all worthwhile and I don't regret a minute I spend with them.

My daughter is a single Mum and does a stirling job of looking after them both and they have a fabulous nanny who my little grand-daughter adores. I pick up the slack at other times for example good friday and easter monday gone. It is exhausting and I am ready for a glass of wine and a little bowl of crisps when Mummy comes home. But the little one seems to think these are her crisps and promptly takes the bowl away and goes to sit with it munching. She too has a stompy-foot as we call it and I too have to try not to laugh . . . they are so funny these little ones. I was messing about playing the fool with her a bit in bed before sleep this weekend and she gave me a stern look and said it was 'sleeping time'!
I tell her what do we do with a stompy-foot? She knows she gets tickled so that seems to diffuse any situation and she ends up in giggles! Yes it is exhausting . . . I am 66 but I absolutely love it and make sure I keep fit to cope with it. I have two others in France so do not see them as much . . . though they too exhaust me when they see me . . . my grandson is determined to beat me at table tennis and tennis and tells his friends I am very 'sport if' that's why I beat him still . . . but one day he will.
I feel so lucky and grateful also to have these opportunities to spend time with them whilst they are small. They really grow so fast and then they are off doing their own things.

I used to run play & share sessions for parenting groups, and some grandparents used to bring grandchildren. At first I wondered why they weren't interacting with the children, till I realised the poor souls were kn*ckered! We had a gent of 70+ who was full time carer to two boisterous under 4s, and another couple of harrassed grannies.

Sorry, but I don't think that's " hands on", I'd say more "put upon".