Life is too fast....or is it me?

Pianist I'm doing the same very shortly, getting the negative people out of my life, and concentrating on getting as well as I can, looking to my own future and my pleasures. If my dad dying has taught me anything it is that we are only here a short time considering and to let out hair down and do what the heck we want, as long as we are kind to others and don't hurt anyone intentionally. Time though very soon to relax and kick back a lot, not a little, I've earned it.

I've cleared everything out of my life. Friends, clubs, commitments. Every day is very quiet and I do get time to stop and stare. I'm never bored. I have quiet hobbies. I don't go anywhere and the car, generally, sits in the courtyard most days. I often go the whole day without speaking to anyone. I don't get any feeling of time running out or wasting my day or boredom. When someone tries to get me involved in something I'll always assume it's out of kind concern for me, and acknowledge it. I will always say how much I enjoy being on my own without a commitment or a deadline to meet. A complete contrast to my younger life which I never want to have back.

I was called to do jury service in London a couple of months after we moved from there up to Cheshire. I got out of that one easily.

Pompa Thank you, that made me smile. I hope my dad's doing that right now.

Pompa My thinking exactly!

It's my choice to do these things Eloethan, but sometimes even the best laid plans can go awry. Other people's arrangements change, meetings are rescheduled etc and you can find yourself unexpectedly busier than you planned. This is when I can feel pressurised. I am generally quite pleased/happy to be busy, that I can still manage to do all the things I enjoy despite some health issues. I would not be happy sitting on my derrière with little to do.

I did a bit of voluntary work at a local big house and read about a former occupant who was a keen embroiderer. Before her wedding she embroidered a complete stair carpet and suggested that "every young bride should do the same!" What planet was she on?

As I get older I find that if I try to do too much in the day I just run out of steam completely, so I try to plan just one major activity per day.
If i have a busy day, followed by something in the evening, I tend to fall asleep!

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the
intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body,

but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming -- WOW-- What a Ride!"

Re choosing people for jury service. I'm sure it's completely random. My dad, a miner, was asked three times. And at one school I worked at, three of the teachers and the school cook were called up within three years.

My mother aged 98 maintains it is far better to wear out rather than rust out.

my mother, in her 80s and ill with COPD, gasps with every effort and she just will not stop. She does her housework to a routine every morning, (does the vacuuming have to be done in the morning), she goes in the garden at every possible minute and yesterday she was panting with the effort and was so sore she couldn't straighten up for a while. Its like she has a compulsion to do things and she quotes, 'an hour in the morning is worth 2 in the afternoon'. I tell her to rest and she doesn't unless she is really bad with her COPD and then she frets that her garden needs looking after. Many older people are like that.

Katek Surely there is a choice as to when you get your hair done or whether you take on the responsibility of producing a panto, attending meetings, etc? If you are taking on too much, ditch some of it, but you actually sound quite pleased that you are so busy.

I think that life is too fast and exhausting for people who are: trying to juggle full time work and families/young families and elder care; struggling to do several part-time jobs in order to live; have to do do lots of shift work and travel long distances at all times of the day and night, etc. etc. Self-imposed busyness is easily remedied.

Somebody said 'a day doing nothing is not a day wasted if you enjoy it'. We have a fairly full life in our retirement but try to spend at least some doing nothing much at all. I know some people cannot sit around but I feel it recharges our batteries and, at our time of life, we deserve it.

I think that my life is even busier than ever now, the other day, having a day off work, I visited my mother at 10, took her to meet her friends at 11, rushed to meet my friend for our swim at 11.30, visited another friend who is housebound at 1pm, had to dash to my optician appointment for 2pm, had shopping to do after that and after unpacking the shopping I had my mother asking me to take her shopping too so that by the time I actually got 'lunch' it was 8pm. I just dropped into bed and slept like a log. After taking DD for her shopping, taking a parcel to another friend and taking my mother out I doubt if I will get any time to myself over the easter, although Im considering switching the phone off for some me time on Monday, Ive got a couple of good books to read (bliss) and some serious easter egg feasting to do. .

I find I can do one thing in the day and that's it . Need to sit,knit and watch tv to relax or I seem to ache all over.

annsixty Some for you. It's hard enough looking after someone with Alzheimers without being ill yourself. I hope you feel better soon.
.

I'm like PPP in that I dislike having more than one commitment in a day. It does, of course, happen from time to time that a couple of things get into my diary on the same day and I deal with it, but in the days leading up to it I feel stressed and just want to get it over.
Like others, I worked in a strongly people-oriented environment - at a University - so now I'm retired I like to feel my time is mine to do as I please. Of course, that includes seeing my DC and DGC, and helping them out when they need it, doing small things for them like making a cake, or cooking them a meal.
But oh, those rare days when I have no hospital/dentist/doctor/hairdresser appointments, no babysitting duties, no dog-sitting duties, when no-one rings, and no-one visits, when DH is out playing golf for hours, and I can just be. Total bliss . Wouldn't want it all the time, of course. They're only bliss because they're rare

found that the forensic evidence (discounted by the other jury members!!!) did indeed fit the known past of the defendant.

Why would they discount the evidence of an expert witness? This is an aspect of jury service that is worrying.
I sometimes wonder if a judgement by a tribunal of judges would be fairer; some jurers these days are very young and inexperienced.

Life's speed is perfect, it's the idiot that decided that 7 days a week was enough that causes my problems.
Trouble is, I seem to take up new activities, volunteer for things etc, without thinking if I will have time.
No one to blame but me, but there's not a lot of life left to fit an awful lot into.

There is a 'jury duty' thread here for those who are interested: www.gransnet.com/forums/legal_and_money/a1220807-I-have-been-summoned?msgid=25699187

I spent my time becoming more and more incensed with the process and believed that a grave injustice was done to the complainant. Afterwards I looked up the defendant and found that the forensic evidence (discounted by the other jury members!!!) did indeed fit the known past of the defendant. I'm still cross about it now and very glad I stuck to my guns and refused to agree with the other jurors to bring in a unanimous verdict.

But you must have agreed to the dates/times in the first place! It might sound a bit tough but unless you take control of your own schedule, then other people's schedules will control you!

Start saying no - sometimes, but say it with a
smile at the same time - then add " but what about this date" ......

That should work - without offending anyone or you feeling awkward or put upon.

Don't forget - these Gransnet years belong to us - we have earned them - and there should be no guilt attached to how we choose to schedule our time.

Yep. Cake's in freezer ready to get out for Monday when grandsons come.

I make all my arrangements with all good intentions, but sometimes when it gets to the actual day it often feels like an effort to meet these commitments. I may have slept badly, asthma might be playing me up-lots of reasons why much looked forward to plans can suddenly appear much less attractive. No plans at all however, on the off chance that I might not enjoy them on the day isn't an option. I could find myself sitting around wishing I was doing something!

jings know what you mean! Had to laugh at starting your list with the garden centre but have to admit that it was probably a very nice place to start! Did you ever make your own cake?

annsixty and ((hugs)) Do hope you will feel much better soon. Have you managed to get some help with DH and everything else? In my experience you really do need to ask as people are often not so very good at empathy sadly.

Juggernaut I can just see the whole scenario!

Deedaa I never cease to be amazed at how narrow some people's life experience and knowledge actually is so am not the least surprised at what you say!