Sleep Nightmare

I went through this for 3 years with my daughter At age 1, I was so sleep deprived that I put her into a bed and got in with her if she woke. Not ideal, but at least we both got some sleep.
We never discovered what made he wake up, but the warmth and contact of some one beside her soon settled her down. Yes she grew out of it in time. No one said bringing up kids was easy, you just have to work out what's best for all of you.

My DGD is four and spends every night with my DD and SiL from about 1am - next one due in 6 weeks! .She goes to sleep fine on her own but wakes up and wanders in to their room .They just got a bigger bed ( super King ) . I can't say too much as our DS (the youngest) did the same! He however was very strict with his twins and never allowed them in with them. But they have got each other for company I suppose. My daughter says it's natural to want to all sleep together and that DGD will grow out of it. I must admit our son did stop around aged 4 if I remember, but with the new babe expected I can't see it happening with DGD , they will need a super plus bed !

I struggle with a 2 year old refusing anything to be fair. The little one is unlikely to be making himself sick with anxiety as much as temper. Little ones are super good at knowing what buttons to push . This type of thing is basically about who is in charge

The solution is always consistancy which is easy to say after a good nights sleep and not so easy when all you want IS to get some sleep. No giving in , no nights off.

Old fashioned as it sounds its all about routine.

We have done the same thing for 3 of the 4 of ours ( now aged 9,6,4 and nearly 2).

Bedtime countdown, no iPads, no tv, quiet stories , cuddles etc. Into bed, one story, tuck in no fuss. Leave. 2 of our little ones have a nightlight , the other 2 doesn't.

Anyone wakes up and comes out of their rooms then they're taken back to bed, no eye contact ( nothing worth waking up for here ) , tucked back in, simple "night night". And we repeat that with no spoken words for as many times and as long as it takes.

The first 3 have been pretty quick learners. The littlest one has just come out of his bed so next week we'll start the same process with him. We NEVER take them into our bed unless they're ill. The moment you do that -its game over.

I really feel for your daughter but if they don't fix this now they'll be sharing their bed with 2 children pretty soon. I hope they find the way that works for them.

Door left open, night lights on,take him back to bed silently, no talking, tuck him up wait until he drops off ( holding your hand) then leave quietly.
this is a big problem these days, I know two couples with similar problems.It may take a long time, but you have to be consistent.Generally it is children with anxiety problems.

Weekends? Take a couple of days off? They have to stick with it and not give in.

This problem is usually tackled successfully on the tv programme s about the visiting nannies. Try to get one on YouTube perhaps. They always seem to make it work well. They do have to get him independent for their own survival.