Leaving children on their own - did you ever?

The main concern about leaving children on their own in the house is that there might be a fire, or some accident might occur which would be difficult for them to deal with.

I too was travelling on buses on my own from a young age - my first school was a walk, a bus ride then another walk away - but I did it on my own. Several roads to cross. No-one thought that was surprising.

We never ever left our children on their own under the age of 14, and then not for all that long.
as a child I was left with a sibling not much older than me all day long from the age of 4.It was wrong then and is wrong now.

i remember traveling on the green line bus from Harlow in Essex to Woodford Green all on my own at about 9 or 10 years old. I would go to stay with my god mother and cousins for weekends or longer during school holidays. I walked from home to the town center bus station waited at the stop got on the bus and always asked the bus driver to stop at the duck pond in Woodford. The thought of a child that age doing that is terrifying but i am still here at 63!!! lol. Also we didn't have a phone so i could not ring home to say i had arrived. My god mother did so i dont know if my mum rang her from a call box to find out if all was well. My mum was not uncaring at all she was lovely but i dont think people worried in those days like they do now.

I was a "latchkey" child from around the age of 7 or 8 in the early 50's- going to school on the bus with my friends and home again. My mother who was a ward sister, popped across the road to our house to light the gas mantle for light and the coal fire for heat and I was on my own until my father came home from work sometime after 5pm. Nowadays my parents would be reported to social services and I would be in care! I loved being on my own and it has helped throughout my life.

So many similar tales to me and as everyone has said times have changed so much over the years. Back in the 50's at 8 I was left to babysit my cousin's young daughters aged 2 and 1 at their house in Sheffield whilst we were visiting. The toilet was outside and of course the inevitable happened and I got locked out. The neighbour had to come round with a ladder and open an upstairs window to let me back in. As an only child I remember being left in a caravan while my parents went to the pub with friends from the next van leaving their 16 year old son to listen out for me - he didn't and I cried for what seemed like hours before they came back and another night when I was about 10 they left me at home while they went to a dance. I sat next to the fire holding the poker watching Psyco and eating instant mash with tomato sauce It didn't do me any harm. I think the first time I left our sons the eldest was 12 and his brother 9 while we went to a nearby town for a couple of hours and then we went on holiday without them when the eldest was 17. At that time though my parents were only a few doors away and Dad was in and out all the time to walk the dog so I knew they were ok. These days I sometimes think common sense is outweighed by the pressures of being seen to 'do the right thing' so parents are less likely to leave perfectly responsible children on their own. Having said that I don't advocate young children should be left unsupervised at any time.

When I was 6 in the late 50s my mother met her sister in London to go shopping, and my 11 year old male cousin took me to the Tower of London for the day, we didn't even know them very well as mum and her sister had not grown up together, but we lived to tell the tale! And when I was 10 my sister lived a few miles away and had a two year old daughter; most Saturday's I would get the bus to hers and collect my niece, bringing her back on the bus to my mum's for lunch - no pushchair just the little one on her reins!
In the early 80s I would leave my baby son asleep and dash to the station to pick up my husband occasionally, but I always knocked on my neighbours door to let her know, and again when I got back safely. And same 'baby' when he was about 10 begged to be left at home when I took his sisters to swimming lessons, so I agreed but with strict rules - he was fine!
All 3 of my kids have grown up able to take care of themselves and have all done babysitting from about 14 to ear pocket money. I think it all depends on the individual young person.

My grandson (9) has recently been begging my daughter to let him walk to school with a classmate who lives in their road and his older brother who is 11. It isn't far, but she won't let him off the leash yet. If they meet en route, they'll walk together and she'll keep a discreet distance behind. From the age of 11, my son was travelling virtually unaided between his school in Surrey and my sister's house in Sheffield every half term, and between countries at the end of term. He took it in his stride, like a lot of other boarders. Some years ago, my friend had near neighbours who were both academics who left three children ranging in age from 9 to 16 at home and went off to China for three months. They didn't seem to have any significant adults watching over them; they didn't go hungry, they came to no harm, there were no dramas, but I dread to think what official wrath would have been visited on the parents these days. Like TriciaF I was under the impression that you could legally leave a 14 year old on their own, or to babysit, but it would appear not.

sddhsd

My parents left us when I was 7 my sister 8 and my brother 3, as mum had to get a job to make ends meet. We could always knock on neighbours' doors though should we have needed to.

What puzzles me about this latest article though is that somebody was prosecuted for leaving a 15 year old on their own, yet there is talk of giving kids the vote at 16, and they can get married at 16! Doesn't make much sense to say they suddenly grow up overnight does it.

I am the youngest of 3 sisters with just 5yrs between us all. Back in the 50's when I was about 5/6 we used to be put on a train at Paddington to go to stay with family in South Wales for the school summer holidays. My mum used to find a carriage with a lady in it and find out if she was going as far as Cardiff and if she was, she was then asked if she would mind keeping an eye on us until Cardiff. My aunt and uncle used to meet us off the train at Cardiff before the rest of the journey up to the valleys. We never had any problems but as said previously those were different times. Also the first time I let my eldest son go to the local shop by himself I followed him at a distance and even resorted to hiding in a few front gardens. Anybody seeing me must have thought I was mad

I left my children alone when popping to the shop in really icy weather having calculated the chances of being hit by skidding car were higher than anything happening at home. Governments and organisations should stop trying to micro manage lives and look to their own records on child protection and everything else, we are undermining parental authority all the time. Schools want to dictate hair styles and holidays and which family events may be attended and what is in the lunch box, yet pay scant attention to educating the kids which is what we pay them for.

At 13 I had a Saturday job in a florist, at 11 I was expected to get the week's shopping by bus using one of the old style baskets on wheels, my parents left me at home when mum was at work and I had sibling 5 years younger to care for and either coal firr or dreadful old paraffin heater, we grew up with far more common sense than young people are allowed to develop now.

Parents are expected to be working all the time and shoving their kids into nurseries and play groups often run by someone with minimal qualifications and no vested interest in the child's happiness or security.

Look where the scandals happen, hospitals, schools and day care centres, I would farther my children were safe at home, well prepared for it by people who love them.

Sorry "typo" - meant to say it was in the early 70s.

I, too, was left with four children in the early ey were aged between 6 and 15. My 15year old daughter had just started work (they could leave at 15 then) I was a teacher so my hours were good for child care and the two younger ones were at my school. My son at 12 was, I'm afraid, a latchkey kid! But I was soon home after school and did work at home. I did leave them with them with the eldest occasionally, but she became 16 shortly after we moved nd as she was working it seemed OK. They all became independent early, fortunately have now all got good careers and families, so I guess I was lucky.

What surprised me about this story was that I thought there was a legal age at which you could leave children, or is that for babysitting?
But they say there isn't any exact age, just what's "reasonable", varying from one child to another, length of time etc.
But how to decide what's "reasonable"?

We left our son aged 15 on his own one weekend - he didn't want to come away with us. He called on Sunday am saying he felt really ill. So we packed up and raced home only to find he felt better and had gone out.

A lot has changed over the years.

I can remember hearing about a lady who went on holiday to Spain, while leaving her young children or child, to look after themselves.

As my brothers were sent away to school from 8 yrs of age, she only had me to look after.
But when we were younger, 6-9 yrs of age, every Christmas period, she would rent the house next door to the hotel, where we lived. She would prefer to help my father during this period, while leaving us two young kids of 6-10 yrs of age, in this rented house.
One night I said to my brother that I would do a dare!
As we lived near to a cliff which I loved climbing. I said to him that I was going for a walk by the cliff, all in my nightdress. Luckily it was those days when it was safer and my mother often came over to see if we were alright. So I was caught and severly punished! Of course it has always been my fault.

in the 1930s when I was under 10 my parents would leave my younger sister and I alone in the evening while they went out to the club dancing. We were put to bed but needless to say we got up and played. I was sent to the local shop on errands from the age of 5. We always did shopping when we were children. In those days there was no packaging and we were fearful of breaking the eggs which were in a paper bag and we ate the top of the cottage loaf on the way home.

I remember once coming home from a rare evening out to find the babysitter had gone home!!!! Luckily the children were all in bed asleep!! I do think the pressure is on mums to work when their kids are young. How do they get them csred for in school holidays and when they're poorly and want mummy

Imperfect27 ; what you did seems very reasonable and sensible.

When I was a council officer, I was alarmed when calling on tenants, just how many young kids did answer the door because their parents were out. I think that is definitely unsafe for the children.

As a single parent for a few years I left mine asleep late at night to take the babysitter home on a few occasions. Took me 5 minutes and they were very sound sleepers - otherwise I wouldn't have done it.

I think I left them alone for perhaps 2 hours when the eldest was 14 and youngest 12. the youngest on her own from about 13 but not for long and always nearby at work (our own company so easy to arrange timings etc and able to get back quickly if need be.)

Caveat. A few times I used what I thought were responsible immediate neighbours' teenage sons and daughters to babysit, so they only had to cross the road to go home. I was friendly with their mothers and thought I knew the boys well enough. To my horror years later my DD told me that when she was about 5 one of them interfered with her, she couldn't identify which one and to this day I don't know who. So you never know. Faced with the same situation and knowing the identity what would GNs have done? Would they speak to the parents? By this time I had moved from this town, but still knew the parents.

In the 60s ,a friend thought nothing of putting her son in his pram in the garden then driving her mini 5 miles into town to shop! One day the local coalman stopped to cover the baby as he had kicked off his blankets.
Happy to say 'baby' is now a big success ful man. Would not get away with this nowadays- coalman would probably call social services!

I remember being left to babysit my much younger sister - I would only have been about 10.

I think I left mine on their own for short periods at that age, or probably younger, as I knew their personalities and that they were very sensible girls. They had instructions to tell anyone who rang that "Mum is in the shower" - i.e. not to let on to anyone that they were on their own, not because I felt bad about doing it, but because you could not be sure who was on the other end. They were instructed not to open the door to anyone. We do live in a very rural area, and you could go all day with no-one walking by.

I also let them loose round our nearest town on their own from about 9. It is a small town and there is a large pedestrianised area and they were under instructions not to leave that area, and also knew people in the shops (e.g. their godfather owned one of the shops) who they could turn to if they had any sort of problem. I would go of and do my shopping at meet them at a specified time. They loved it - they had a little bit of money and would get a MacDonalds or something slightly naughty like that!

I guess the world has changed a bit even since mine were little, and this might not be sensible any more - what a shame.

I wouldn`t have dreamed of leaving my Children alone when they were under 9/10 . I had a bad experience of 2 Asian men trying to drag my friend and I into a car when I was around 8 . We were too scared to tell our parents for fear of them not letting us play out again .

You only have to think about the Mc cans leaving 3 under 3`s alone to see what can happen .

I think you should just build it up gradually over the years so you don't end up with an adult child who is still dependant on you.
Walking to school or to the nearby shop at 11 is a start. By the time they are 14 they are quite independent and they all have mobile phones so are never out of touch.

nanaandgrampy you echo my experience as a child ('re trips into town). We also loved it.