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Naughty Nanna.......but doing the best I can!

(190 Posts)
Katek Fri 04-Mar-16 09:30:36

I have allowed dgs to watch more tv than he's normally permitted. It's been a great help in letting me tidy, prepare his food etc, then we sit down and play until lunchtime. He's quite grizzly and argumentative as well (not his usual) so I'm heading off confrontation with him. There are times and there are times, and I don't think now is the right time to be firm with an unwell, grumpy, missing his mum, tired 2 year old. I'm also not in my 20s/30s any more! I'm justifying it to myself I know, but I do feel guilty.

NanSue Fri 04-Mar-16 16:58:40

Absolutely nothing wrong with relaxing on the sofa watching T.V with a sick child, or any child come to that! My very intelligent ( I'm not in the least bit biased) DGD has been helped along the way with her favourite programmes to identify shapes, colours numbers etc., So need for guilt [Katek]

Tizliz Fri 04-Mar-16 16:57:22

I was only flicking through some posts and I thought you wrote 'I have allowed dogs to watch more tv' and thought 'my dogs don't pay any attention to the tv'. Perhaps I need new glasses grin

Anya Fri 04-Mar-16 16:51:47

Nana's Rules!

Luckygirl Fri 04-Mar-16 16:41:06

It is a joy to see all these sensible grandmas here! How wonderful that we refuse to be guilted into toeing the PC line!

Flowerofthewest Fri 04-Mar-16 16:20:53

What a load if twaddle..My 2 year old dgd watches more tv than I would like her to. She has just flown through her 2 yr check with vocabulary of a 3 yr old plus. When she was unwell the other week all she wanted was her old dummy and a cuddle with even more tv. What with also caring for a baby I was only too glad to comply

Thingmajig Fri 04-Mar-16 16:03:03

Don't feel guilty!

We record a couple of (parental) approved programs for our wee 2 year old GD. She watches tv while she's having her meals at her wee table as it distracts her and she usually eats something despite herself!

She plays with play doh, paints and draws and 'reads' her books most of the time, so we figure a little extra tv is ok.

We 'enjoy' Balamory, Timmy Time, Mr Tumble, Waybaloo and In The Night Garden!!!
Grandad knows all the characters and can sing all the songs! grin

GillT57 Fri 04-Mar-16 15:01:23

I do think that parents are guilt tripped about what they should/shouldnt allow their children to do. All this nonsense about no TV before 3.30. I certainly would not put a child in front of the TV all day, and wouldn't subject anyone of any age to the likes of the Jeremy Kyle show, but this is all getting out of hand. When mine were little they had favourite videos which were sold by NSPCC. These videos had episodes of all the favourites like Postman Pat, Fireman Sam etc., and that way I could control what they watched and for how long. But, a poorly child, like all of us, just wants to cuddle up in front of the TV and drift and doze. Just go for it, you are doing a grand job.

Jayh Fri 04-Mar-16 14:16:22

My philosophy is 'What happens at Grandma's stays at Grandma's'.

I don't normally go against her parents wishes but I recently let my GD watch too much telly as I was busy in the house. It allowed her to have a rest after a busy morning at nursery. Normally, we go to gymnastics or swimming or play games but heyho! That day I had other things to do. We have to be pragmatic at times and there is nothing to be ashamed of in that. smile

grannyqueenie Fri 04-Mar-16 14:08:47

Sounds to me you did exactly the right thing, Katek a wise granny indeed!! Nothing at all to feel bad about.
Sometimes under similar circumstances my daughter would reel off a list of instructions, catch sight of the "I don't think so" face I was trying so hard to not to make and then finish up by saying "but at the end of the day mum I trust you, so just do whatever you have to do" And I did, including cbeebies/dvds etc when I needed to!!

NanaandGrampy Fri 04-Mar-16 14:04:04

Super impressed Teacher but our 2 year old can't tell the time so he wouldn't know when it's 3;30 !

Personally I see no problem with a bit of kids TV , some have an educational element as well as being fun as long as the child has access to the full range of media including books I dont think there's a problem. There's a lot of good discussion to be gotten from an episode of Mickey Mouse Club House in my opinion.

Oh and Grampy says he wont be missing any episodes of Princess Sofia - its one of his personal favourites :-)

Katek I think you're doing a great , well rounded job and everyone knows you don't poke a grumpy 2 year old - you're safer standing on a bears tail....hmmmm IF it has a tail smile

Katek Fri 04-Mar-16 14:02:23

Don't think we have a problem with language development/understanding - he just told me that farmers feed cows silage in the barn and that telehandlers fit on the back of tractors!!

SueDonim Fri 04-Mar-16 13:48:44

Anything that keeps an unwell child content is worth its weight in gold, ime! Provided one is selective, I don't think a bit of TV does any harm. When my own four were young, they tended to regress a bit anyway when they were ill and wanted their old familiar toys and books around them, they didn't want to be learning anything new, they just wanted comforting.

Recently, I was Skyping with my ds in America and I heard him say to his 3yo to go and watch such-and-such a programme on TV. I was shock as when they'd had their first child the rules were no tv for his first two years then a maximum of 30 minutes of a video chosen by mum & dad and no live TV until he was 5yo. I asked ds about the rules and he said they'd had a change of heart with their No2 as she's such a live wire and it's the only way they can get any peace! FWIW, she could talk the hind leg off a donkey so it doesn't seem to have impaired her in any way. grin

Elrel Fri 04-Mar-16 13:03:29

Luckygirl. The childminder's downgrading is crazy. Aren't OFSTED inspectors allowed common sense.
Jalima. Nothing wrong with well aimed sarcasm! I think us grans have just been taught to suck eggs by Teacher!

petra Fri 04-Mar-16 12:04:06

Jalima. No, good sarcasm is very witty, as yours is.

Teacher11. What a load of tosh!

Elrel Fri 04-Mar-16 11:56:37

Absolutely, Anya. There's a lot of good children's programmes on tv, some informative, some distracting, some just right for a poorly child. GS 5 and I both learnt things from a recent CBBC programme about Space which fascinates him. His little sister was calmed and amused by Abney and Teal.

Years ago I used to occasionally cuddle my first GD in front of the now defunct Landscape Channel when she couldn't sleep. 'Moving wallpaper' and quiet music soon did the trick.

Luckygirl Fri 04-Mar-16 11:54:36

By the way Teacher - my DDs were brought up on the principle that there was more to life than book-learning, and I always counter-balanced the pressure to achieve from school with the important things: learning to be kind was at the top of the list.

They all did brilliantly in higher education and have strings of qualifications to their names, so they did not miss out from not being force fed education too early.

It has all got out of hand. The child minder who looks after my DGD one day a week had her OfSted rating reduced from outstanding to good on the grounds that she did not do enough maths with the children in her care: aged 9 months, one year and 2. Sigh.

Luckygirl Fri 04-Mar-16 11:49:40

I hope your DGD is better soon Anya and that your GS too Katek is back to his normal self speedily. How lucky these Mums are to have you!

Anya Fri 04-Mar-16 11:37:48

B****cks Teacher there are many good quality TV programmes on these days. In fact when my GC wandered off I often used to sit and watch thrm alone.

I've got a poorly 4-year old here today. High temperature, flushed, lethargic (usually a live wire) normally I wouldn't be too bothered, and just be happy to let nature take its course, but with all this publicity around meningitis at the moment I'm finding it very stressful. I'm quite happy for her to lie down and just watch TV.

Elrel Fri 04-Mar-16 11:36:51

I agree with POGS. Sure you have no need to feel the least bit guilty. Hope he's better soon.

POGS Fri 04-Mar-16 11:21:55

KateK

He won't be effected either way. All the little chap wants to know is Nanna is there to love and cuddle him.

Hope he picks up soon and get's back to being a little ?. smile

Luckygirl Fri 04-Mar-16 11:09:48

You do not need to justify yourself. If the circumstances are such that you need to be involved in the care of your GS then you must do whatever is needed to make it possible for you to do it - i.e. do whatever gets you through.

I am in the same boat doing 2 days child care a week, and if I am flaked out then they watch some TV. End of.

They do not watch it for hours at a time, but I use it as a chance for me to recharge my 67 year old batteries so I can then do something else when I am recharged.

I absolutely reject this nonsense that children should be doing something creative or educational every minute of every day - I would not want to be doing that myself and, just like us adults, children enjoy a bit of vegging out.

To be honest the above post by Teacher11 fills me with horror and makes me want to puke. It is this sort of guilt trip that is making today's young parents exhausted and miserable - "it is never too early to kick start their pre-reading abilities" - oh yes it is. For heaven's sake, they are children - they should be working out how to get on with others, using their imaginations and having some cuddles and fun - and that includes TV, which is part of modern life. I make quite sure that any present that I buy my GC does not have "educational" written on it. FFS they get enough of this stuff rammed down their throats when they get to school and have SATs to worry about and other such nonsense - give the poor things a break.

We are not in our twenties any more; we have to do the child care in the best way we can given our limitations. We bring other valuable things to these children based in our experience and a sense of balance.

Children need to learn how to entertain themselves - we should not be doing stuff with them all the time - if they do not learn to amuse themselves then they will be ghastly demanding brats.

You are not a "naughty nana" - you are human. Don't let these poncy dictators get to you - do what is right for you! Don't you dare feel guilty!!

TheMaggiejane1 Fri 04-Mar-16 11:04:49

I agree with you there harrigran. I also don't agree that children need to be constantly stimulated and interacted with. We all need some down time and children need to learn how to amuse themselves for short periods of time!

Imperfect27 Fri 04-Mar-16 10:59:05

KateK, I think your lovely family are just lucky to have you there to help! You are obviously conscientious and doing extra thoughtful things to support them. My daughter is also a head of faculty (Englsih) and has a house stuffed ful of books - I am enjoying lining up a library of my own for DGS, but I know TV will also play a valued part.

Teacher 11, I know we have to sort wheat from chaff, but there are some very good children's programmes out there - and some terrible DVDs! Personally, I didn't like Tellytubbies which came out when my youngest was pre-school, but how we loved Sesame Street and Come Outside with Pippin the dog and my children definitely learned from those programmes!

I expect many of us have memories of cuddling up with our own poorly children and being grateful for some comforting TV. I like nothing better when I am poorly myself - sometimes we need what is familiar.

Katek, I hope your dgs is soon better and I am sure he won't be scarred - soothed and comforted, yes. You sound like a brilliant nanny to me.

harrigran Fri 04-Mar-16 10:57:13

I am glad Teacher isn't my DIL because she would be getting a few choice words from me. A sick child will not sit and look at picture books, all they want is cuddles and moving wallpaper.

morethan2 Fri 04-Mar-16 10:48:59

This is the world As it is. It's not ideal but I wouldn't even feel the least bit guilty. As long as there is lots of other stuff going on a little bit of children's t.v now and agin won't do any harm. It's not as if your shoving him in front of Jermy Kyle every time you have him don't beat yourself up