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Naughty Nanna.......but doing the best I can!

(190 Posts)
Katek Fri 04-Mar-16 09:30:36

I have allowed dgs to watch more tv than he's normally permitted. It's been a great help in letting me tidy, prepare his food etc, then we sit down and play until lunchtime. He's quite grizzly and argumentative as well (not his usual) so I'm heading off confrontation with him. There are times and there are times, and I don't think now is the right time to be firm with an unwell, grumpy, missing his mum, tired 2 year old. I'm also not in my 20s/30s any more! I'm justifying it to myself I know, but I do feel guilty.

Nelliemoser Sun 06-Mar-16 10:18:10

My DD tries to limit TV as much as possible, but when 3yr old DGS1 was really miserable and poorly with chicken pox he was curled up on the settee with mum watching Peppa Pig, Paws Patrol and other such things. Paws patrol is quite informative.

It is hard to concentrate on much when you feel poorly
When mine were poorly they were tucked up on the settee with a blanket and the television on.
Mind you there was not wall to wall childrens TV then.

DGS1 did argue that watching television would make him better.

Teacher11 Sun 06-Mar-16 06:05:30

Keep your hair on people. I don't suppose a bit of rubbish hurt anyone but I still think a lot of daytime TV is unsuitable for little ones. Of course programmes like 'Sesame Street' are great. They devised It to bolster literacy skills for the 'left behind' children in America.

Incidentally, my small children were shown 'Jurassic Park' and 'The Terminator' at childminders and I was not a happy bunny. I had expressly forbidden my children from seeing the former as I thought it too frightening and it never ocurred to me that anyone would show the latter to a small person so I never mentioned it. Still, the children have made it to adulthood without having a breakdown and there is no situation you can't learn something from.

I agree with everyone in this thread who says that love comes before literacy and that ill children just need to 'be'. However, in the early stages of language acquisition when children's brains are 'programmed' as it were to absorb language and grammar it is crucial to talk to them, listen to them, interact and do anything you can to foster prereading and reading skills. The children whose families do that gain an advantage in school they never really lose.

starlily106 Sat 05-Mar-16 23:40:37

i was just turned 60 when i got custody of my lovely gd. who was 32 months old. i must admit i was worried a bit about how i would manage, but having her to look after worked out so well. she loved watching t.v. but she also enjoyed 'helping' me in the garden, washing up, dusting, any thing i did she wanted to do too! i certainly don't think that watching Teletubbies or any of the other programmes she liked made a great impact on her. we did lots of things together, like visiting the local city farms, Beamish openair museum, Alnwick castle, Bamburgh castle, and we both joined a nature group which she loved. she is now 21 and is a lovely young lady. i am so proud of her, and pleased at the way having her changed my life.

Rowantree Sat 05-Mar-16 23:23:19

Agreed, Luckygirl and that's why I loathe OFSTED, the Nazional Curriculum and this constant testing, testing, testing right down to the tinies. My friend, a childminder, has just recently been OFSTEDed. How ridiculous. What an utter waste of money and time, and extremely misguided. angry

Luckygirl Sat 05-Mar-16 22:36:25

I am at a loss (and somewhat exasperated) by this trend to rush children through their childhoods - as if it is not short enough - and only one crack at it.

Small children learn by living and being a part of what is going on around them. They do not need formal activities.

Newquay Sat 05-Mar-16 22:36:09

And, much as I love Peppa Pig and the lovely warm family they have, why oh why do we allow men to be made such figures of fun? I cringe the way that Daddy Pig is always made to look the fool. We've fought for years for women to be taken seriously and we should not now allow men to put down.

Newquay Sat 05-Mar-16 22:33:15

My dear departed Mum used to come and look after our 2DDs during school hols. I used to work til 2pm. I never laid down any rules. Sometimes I would arrive home after a 20 minute uphill walk esp in winter, open the door, the heat would hit me and I could hear my Mum and 2Ds laughing and giggling on the sofa usually watching some film or other (like Mary Poppins). Both DDs now married professional women with their own families and they have such happy memories of their much loved Nana. They enjoyed just relaxing in each other's company and certainly had enough work during term time. So good for you Nanas out there who are just enjoying your GC in such a relaxed way?

Rowantree Sat 05-Mar-16 21:36:27

My daughter watched loads of TV when she was a child, recovering from major surgery (several times) and in pain. For her it was snuggle time with me, and we watched all sorts of things. She tells me that's where her interest in history started: there was a lovely programme about the Great Fire of London we recorded for her and she got hooked on finding out about it which helped while away otherwise tedious long recovery days when she couldn't go out (her leg was in a huge Ilizarov frame). We also watched Disney cartoon videos together and an animal cartoon series about a forest, the name of which eludes me now. We talked, we sometimes stitched, talked about our favourite places in the Yorkshire Dales which is somewhere she loved to visit, and that helped her cope with her anxiety and depression. I wanted home to be a haven, exploring things which interested and inspired her. She also wrote a great deal, though I couldn't always make out what she'd written! Two decades later, after a long haul emotionally and physically, she did reasonably well at school, despite serious illness, depression and pain, got a degree against all the odds and later an M.A in magazine journalism - and is now self-employed writing, which she loves, and has a little daughter of her own. She probably spent less time in school than most of her peers, and we managed as best we could, but television and videos played an important part in her life and she's none the worse for that. Who gives a stuff how early a child learns to read, as long as they do, and that they learn to love books and approach life with excitement, curiosity, kindness and compassion? They learn that kindness and compassion from their families first and foremost and I'd bet that's what they'd remember more than the fact that they were taught their tables a year earlier than their friends.

Deedaa Sat 05-Mar-16 21:28:24

I think the one to one is so important peaceatlast I think having a discussion on the sofa about why Daddy Pig was being so silly is just as valuable as sitting with a book or doing some counting.

peaceatlast Sat 05-Mar-16 21:17:31

I am a retired teacher and grandma to five little ones. 3 are at school now and doing exceptionally well. I look after my one year old and 3 months old grandsons and they will be cared for by me in exactly the same way as the older ones were. I always use my experience and intuition re activities during the day and, yes, that involves some tv as it is not always possible to play with them all the time. I do things my way and I know it is appreciated by the parents. They probably get more one to one interaction than they do on their nursery days. I won't be made to feel guilty and really do wonder about how seriously the teacher on here actually should be taken.

Deedaa Sat 05-Mar-16 20:55:30

Now I only have GS2 in the afternoons and after a morning at preschool and possibly a Music with Mummy or Kindergym session I feel he's probably done enough educational stuff and he's quite happy sorting through a few toys by himself and then settling down to Peppa Pig, Peter Rabbit and anything else that takes his fancy. Both he and his brother have large and wide ranging vocabularies. If he's ill we watch The Gruffalo and Room on the Broom for the 95th time.

grannylyn65 Sat 05-Mar-16 20:05:06

You should see some of the other ones!!!!

Caroline123 Sat 05-Mar-16 19:55:48

Are you serious or are you using this forum for 'sport'as and ex work colleague used to say.
.seeing everyone get upset and infuriated by your comments?

Caroline123 Sat 05-Mar-16 19:42:13

Don't feel bad,he wants a rest if he's not well.
We don't want to be busy if we are ill, kids are the same.the teacher 11 is away with the fairies and to be honest the sort of comments she made give teachers a bad name.my daughter and mother of my 3gc is a teacher and accepts when her children are ill they need rest and relaxation, not stimulation and learning.
How I hate po faced folk!

Caroline123 Sat 05-Mar-16 19:35:49

I absolutely agree.The education of children is not a priority when the child is ill.
Try teaching me something when I'm ill!
When kids are well they are like sponges and soak up everything including stuff we would rather they didn't,but when they're ill they need cuddles,calm and quiet.
And this is from a nurse midwife,health visitor and mother,but I don't feel the need to have my job titles as my username.

Caroline123 Sat 05-Mar-16 19:25:19

I absolutely agree with you!
My daughter is a teacher and knows her kids do more or less what they want when they come to me and she's OK with that
10 years ago now,she was panicking with her firstborn about how she couldn't get anything done,she had to stimulate him or her wouldn't be bright enough.what a load of tosh.and I'm afraid I said so.
I also said,he would have loads of teachers,he only has one mum.No one else can be his mum.
Be his mum and help him learn when he wants to.

pollyparrot Sat 05-Mar-16 19:19:22

I think if we're expected to look after them, some bending of the "rules" is perfectly acceptable.

Caroline123 Sat 05-Mar-16 19:15:33

My daughter is a teacher.I babysit at times for her 3 children.They are allowed to do most things when they're with me and my daughter doesn't mind.
There are no concerns about language or any other developmental issues.its playtime and rest time when they want.
I'm not their teacher, I'm their Nan.

merlotgran Sat 05-Mar-16 19:13:01

I'm out of touch with today's programmes for children but I do remember looking after the DGSs when I was trying to recover from a hernia op.

I sat them in front of back to back episodes of 60 Minute Makeover. shock

Nobody died.

Rowantree Sat 05-Mar-16 19:03:34

Well, as a former teacher myself, I'm not sure I'd agree that putting on Cds teaching numbers and letters will hit the spot with a poorly two-year-old. Would you listen to a CD teaching you Russian while you were suffering from 'flu? I bet you wouldn't. You'd want something distracting, soothing and entertaining.Sick children, like all of us, regress when feeling unwell.
No one is suggesting a diet of marshmallow and chips, but there are times when small children need comfort and a bit of gentle, distracting fun. If you are sometimes able to sit and watch with them, snuggling down together, and maybe chatting about and sharing what you're seeing now and then, there's nowt wrong with that - with the exception of offerings like 'Driller Killer' such like, naturally!

Whilst I sympathise in part with some of teacher's points, I think there's far too much emphasis these days on formal education for young children. For a small child, everything is new, everything is a natural learning experience in some way - you don't have to labour the point and make it a chore. By all means read with them and share books, but for the flippin' FUN of them, nothing more.
You're doing exactly the right thing for your little one, KateK. Ignore those who sniff in a holier-than-though manner and carry on doing what your instincts tell you. flowers

Claudiaclaws Sat 05-Mar-16 18:14:17

I had my 6 year old {7 next month} this week, she was off school with a tummy bug, and she loves Stick Man, we watched this and she read the book at the same time whilst sitting at her little table in the sitting room eating her dinner! Big treat to not eat at the dining table.
Surely this is what we are here for, to love, care, cherish these Grandchildren of ours. And God forbid Spoil them occasionally. I'm bloody glad that TEACHER isn't my daughter in law.
Please excuse the swear word.

Nana3 Sat 05-Mar-16 18:01:19

Retired teacher here too. Two year old GD and I watch television, we do the yoga with Waybaloo and we love signing with the very talented Justin on Something Special. She watches on her own sometimes when I'm making her lunch. Like most grans here we do a mixture of things. Enjoy your weekend Katec you've earned it. flowers

Penstemmon Sat 05-Mar-16 17:25:00

As a former teacher, Early Years adviser and OFSTED inspector I would like to add my twopenneth!

A sick child needs to rest and relax to recuperate. Kids TV is fine.

My DGS2 has a highly developed vocab and creative mind as a result of his excitement about TV programmes. When swimming I am always a lost fish and he is Captain Barnacles or Peso coming to rescue me!
Two year olds will develop excellent language skills even if they watch TV as long as adults talk with them and hold conversations as they play/watch TV/look at books etc etc. Occasional TV/sofa days do no harm at all!

Play and talk is what creates lively learners. Too much structure too soon limits learning.

Lillie Sat 05-Mar-16 16:56:51

I do hope this thread doesn't turn many of you off teachers who on the whole are very sensible, caring people. Though I can fully understand why you feel cross when children's tv programmes are dismissed as rubbish and detrimental to language learning.
In my experience, children who are shovelled full of "learning"activities in the home often switch off at school because they've had an overload. Let them relax and have fun at home, and if that means some rationed TV viewing all well and good.
Katek started by saying the little boy was grumpy and argumentative because he was ill, so what he needed was some calm, stressfree time. This certainly wouldn't have been the moment to start teaching him monkey tricks.

morethan2 Sat 05-Mar-16 16:53:38

nannienet I am in awe of you..RESPECT. I hardly mange with my three youngest who 4,5 &7 when I have all three together especially when they were younger.