Opinions please.

I would gladly have been a surrogate for either of my daughters when I was younger, if they were unable to carry a child, but this is a different matter entirely. I think the eggs should be given to the donor programme. It probably wouldn't be possible to reveal the identity of the recipient, but in the right family it might work for the grandmother to be involved in the baby's life.

While I am sad that as yet I have no prospect of DCs and will be very sad I read if I never have any, for whatever reason,I find it odd that the only 'ground'for turning down the requestappears to be that the dead daughter hadn't put it in writing
To me the whole concept is bizzare and wrong for so many reasons .
But I do feel sorry for the lady

Life is sometimes very cruel,for every person who tells their tragic story to the world,there are hundreds suffering as much or more in silence.Thats life I'm afraid.

This scenario was bound to arise with the development of IVF etc - I can understand the feelings of the 60 yr old. Terrible to lose a daughter, you could do anything to continue her existence.
Our neighbour here had babies by IVF when she was 55 and 57 - but for a completely different reason. As Jane Ainsworth says, the preparation with hormone treatment etc isn't something I would want to have.

Oh. Just read that it was eggs only that were frozen. It would be OK if the biological mother's partner was going to be the sperm donor. Certainly not the grandad!

The HFEA in Britain try to keep as tight a rein on embryo reaseach etc as they can and individuals seem out to subvert that.

www.hfea.gov.uk/46.html
A link about freezing and storing eggs including the current legal position.

Oh that is so sad. I think she should have been allowed to. Was there no wider family that could have helped with raising the children? No aunties or uncles?

nellie this is the BBC report. www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-35651301
"The High Court was told the daughter was desperate to have children and had asked her mother to "carry my babies"."
That seems an unreasonable dying request to me, very sad though the situation is.
How can anyone put pressure on their own mother to undergo the trauma of IVF, with its attendant dangers of high levels of hormone supplementation, and be responsible for a child well into her 80's?
A child should be wanted for him or herself and not to satisfy someone else's rather vain wish, which is the impression that the report gives.

All I can say is NO. I can understand her distress but it seems to me totally wrong.
Those eggs are the daughters. They are not the grandmothers to use because she feels bereaved. We are not entitled to have grandchildren.

If there is no actual evidence that the daughter wanted mum to do this we are just going on one persons word.
The grandmother would have to choose the grandfather. IMO It's too full of potential difficulties with regard to family relationships etc.

I can sort of see a slippery slope here.

At the time I posted I believed it was the girls father but having googled further in order to be as accurate as the press will let me I read they had hoped to use an anonymous donor. Also trying to be accurate someone up thread said the girl had BC. The reports I have read say it was bowel cancer.

When you say the 'woman's husband' I'm assuming you mean the dead woman's husband surely. The man, who would gave fathered the baby had his wife not died.

This seems to be a sad grieving mother riding her emotions and who is setting herself up for untold mental strain and health problems.
One has to ask where this could go or even stop. When a young woman sadly dies the eggs are there and perhaps could be harvested and a similar situation created. Would parents do that? I doubt it or that they would be allowed to do it. The young woman in this particular case was herself preparing for different eventualities in her own life and not her death since if that had been so she would have left written instructions. Technically the eggs which were harvested are just as much a part of the daughter's body as if they were not harvested.There is no entitlement here.
Any child born from these eggs would be damaged by all the history connected with it's birth. Given that the daughter died of breast cancer you can just see that the next step might be the possibility of screening the eggs or embryos for the genetic possibilities of a child having the same health problems and so then you subsequently raise other issues too. It just goes on and on - and Pandora's Box comes to mind!

When your daughter remains unmarried and goes past the age of conceiving a child there is a kind of mourning that goes on both in her life and the lives of her parents over the perceived loss of the next generation. We have to come to terms with these things which are all part of life. The scenario discussed is not very different albeit with the added sadness of the loss of the daughter herself.

I wouldn't have wanted a baby, any baby, at 60, but as indi says, we are not in the position of the woman in the article.

I would certainly not have allowed my husband, her father to be the child's father.

That's a difficult one, ann. Certainly not at the age of 60, but if it had arisen when I was, say, 50 then who knows?
The thing is, I cannot imagine the depth of grief at losing a daughter, and where it might lead me. I know several on here have been through this, so their opinions would perhaps be more valid than mine.

Now my question is , would any of you have considered doing it if it had arisen?

Surely there would be a genetic problem if the woman's husband is also her DDs father?
If his sperm was used to fertilise the egg, the resulting embryo would have DNA from his sperm and from the egg.

Sorry ' its teens ' not 'her teens'.!

I agreeIndinana - the child would be 10 when her mother was 70 - not ideal for the child growing through her teens - for lots of reasons.

My sister lost both her daughters to cancer at varying ages - one of them had not had children - having her child would not have bought her daughter back - or replaced her - and the grief of losing her was enough to deal with at that time. I feel very sad for this lady.

Well that puts a rather different slant on it if they are eggs rather than embryos. Not sure I'd find that acceptable, to be honest, for the child's father to be also its grandfather. Better for the child, surely, if another 'father' was found.
The child is the important person in this situation, not the grandmother. Easy to lose sight of that.

info I do

I meant 'poor woman' to find herself bereaved of her daughter and denied her child's child.

Whether the decision to deny the eggs to be used is the right or wrong one, I cannot decide. If she knew this was her daughter's wish then she feels she is letting her dead daughter down.

As I say I cannot reach an opinion on the rights or wrongs of this, it's just too complicated, but info feel for her.

X posts.

I have just read a second report that it is eggs the daughter had frozen and the woman's husband would be the father, and GF of course. Usual accurate press stories!!!

I understood that they are not yet embryos - - just her frozen eggs - so no father involved yet.