Present for first grandchild too?

I had to smile at a memory from ages ago in response to the very good advice to consider the feelings of an older sibling when visiting a new baby. I had no children of my own at the time.

After ignoring my new nephew for ages , who was sleeping soundly in his bassinet , and talking to my older nephew at length about the gift I had bought him , my sister in law tentatively suggested holding the new baby.

No sooner had he be placed in my arms a fusillade of pieces of Brio train and track were thrown at both us , me protecting the baby.

I always tell my younger nephew it was a miracle he survived to adulthood.

I have a children's clothes shop and we often get asked for ideas for older siblings when they are buying a new baby gift we sometimes stock tshirts that say big brother or big sister but you have all given me some great ideas to pass on to my customers so thanks for that.

When DGD 3 arrived, I bought 2 tshirts for the older siblings. A pink sparkly one for pink sparkly loving DGD1 saying 'I'm the big sister' and one for her brother saying 'I'm the big brother' . They were delighted with this acknowledgement of their new status and wore them for days. Wouldn't take them off

Our youngest arrived bearing gifts for her older brother and they have carried on the idea for their children. We only buy presents for the birthday girl for her special day, although one gd lent half of her birthday money to her younger sister so she didn't feel left out, to be paid back on her birthday.

By all means, give a present to your first grandchild. Maybe saying "we mustn't forget you, you were here first".

Congratulations on the new grandchild.

When number two arrived we, with the parents permission, gave number one a present from the new baby. All wrapped up with a card " To my big sister"

My 36 year old daughter found a police car in our toy box the other day and was telling her 18 mth old son that she had been given it by her new born baby sister 34 years ago when visiting the baby in hospital.

My problem is son1 and familyvhave a tradition of unbirthday presents and DiLs parents always give presents to all the children at all
Birthdays. However son 2 told us not to buy presents for older child when new baby arrived or unbirthday presents. Or presents for them when we visit. Its difficult because i like to treat them all rge same.

I too always speak to older child and get them to introduce new arrival I don't think you need to buy gifts I usually take something when I see my sons children anyway but don't feel guilty when I don't .

The attention we lavish on new babies is also totally understandable but can be very hard on older siblings.
38 years on I still vividly remember a friend who should have known better, sweeping in, straight to newborn DD2 and completely ignoring 2year old DD1 who was standing in a corner with a face like thunder. The baby was asleep and could not have cared less but DD1 learned a hard lesson that day. I always make a fuss of the older sibling(s) and if possible wait until they are busy playing or out of the room before my "newborn cuddle".
As DGS1 once said at the age of 4 about his younger brother "life is hard when you're two!"

Congratulations on the new arrival, vsitting!

We asked DGS2's parents first before giving DGS1 a present as well, and they suggested a Thomas the Tank dressing gown, so we got him that and a little wooden celebration cake set so that he could cut us all slices of cake at visiting time

We all have our own ways, but I have never given unbirthday presents. I think we all have a right to be special on our special days, and my lot have never had a problem with that. But a friend of mine always gave unbirthday presents to her girls that cost as much as the birthday presents, because she didn't want the other to feel left out. Each to his or her own, I suppose!

We also buy the older child/children small gifts when a new baby arrives. My parents did this for our family and bought my second child a beautiful drum when our third child was born(!)... needless to say, we don't do inherently noisy and/or startling things!!!

With regards to other children. Lots of love, cuddles and stories are best for the older siblings. There are good pre-birth books now for the prospective older siblings. And we like to explain that when they're born, the new baby may well be able to hold their finger in their tiny hand and may soon be able to smile at them and will think they are really special. I hated it when my first child was told she would have a little brother/sister "to play with" as this is clearly nonsense
Like mcem, I always speak to the older children first when visiting a new baby.

We don't buy unbirthday presents - it seems important to focus on the special day for the birthday girl (or boy), but we do usually buy a few token flowers each year for the "mum" as a sort-of thank you.

Unbirthday presents evidently seem OTT to many people. They really are only token things and more for fun than anything - and not given because we felt there was a 'need' for them, but just as a bit of a smile as the years have rolled on. However, like many others here, I think the trick is to pay lots of attention to the older sibling /s when the new baby arrives as they are bound to be feeling a bit thrown.

Easy - buy a book and read it to him/her; you are giving a small present and also your time and love, the latter two being particularly important when there is now a 'usurper'.

My daughters (37 +39) still have the Care Bears which were a gift from the baby . The gifts were sitting in the cot trolley when they came for the first visit. We've kept it going with presents from tne new arrival to the older siblings but never 'unbirthday' presents!
I always speak to the older one when I visit a new baby and usually find they're delighted to do the introductions.

My first grandchild was 12 when his little sister came along so never occurred to me to buy him something. He seemed very happy to let her have all the attention! Also don't believe in unbirthday presents. think there's too much emphasis on presents these days.
Sorry don't get me wrong, I love them to bits and I am as generous with them as I can be. I have also opened little savings accounts for them which I think will be more beneficial.

Just realised how prissy that sounds! What ?I mean is - common squabbles apart - they did get on and they don't bear any life-long resentments which seem common for some.

Yes, older sibling needs to feel they are still important. As our children grew we never had nay problems with jealousy or unkindness between them. I do think it helped to start off positively.

As well as a gift for GD1, the best thing you can give her is your time and attention when the baby is, inevitably, getting a lot of admiration.

Totally agree with Alea.

I have a 7 week grandson in Oz. I knitted a cotton hoody for him, and sent it with some cute seat belt buddies for his big sisters.

Older siblings are inevitably going to experience a level of displacement. A small token that they are still important too will help salve potential bruised egos.

I have always made a point of chatting to an older sibling about their new baby, before asking if it is ok for me to have a look.

I was interested that my 3 yr old DGD reminded me yesterday what her baby sister had 'given' her when she first saw her in hospital over 18 months ago. Memory like an elephant - so yes a present 'from the baby' is lovely but I'm not sure she needs one from everyone else?
My father used to bring us back presents whenever he worked away from home - that stopped on the day we greeted him with 'what have you brought us'. A good lesson learnt!

Always. lego/duplo. and whenever I meet a child with a new sibling I ignore the baby, talk to the child and then ask what have they got to show me, what is the baby's name and ask all the questions to them. They soon lose interest but they don't feel left out or usurped.

We have always bought the older child a present when a new baby arrives but we do not buy unbirthday presents for the reasons stated above - it's not their day.

Tch - make that 'big' sister ...

We were introduced to 'unbirthday' gifts by my first daughter's quite elderly godparents when it was the first birthday og her little brother. we thought it was a great idea and have kept the tradition going into later years. No unbirthday gift cost more than £1-2 and as the children grew older (and then there were four ) it became part of the tradition that the birthday girl / boy would give out the token gifts before they opened their presents.

As for new arrivals ... I haven't reached second GC stage yet, but with our own, the new baby always brought a gift for the older sibling/s and the they brought something in return. I was very touched when my eldest son recently made a point of buying a little blue elephant for our first GS when he was born. DS had received a little blue elephant from his bog sister when he arrived in the world.

As you can see - we are a family that love traditions!