In the 9th month of retirement ...

Like other folks have said, it's YOUR retirement, so do what gives you the right mix of relaxation and stimulation. We both choose to do a fair bit of voluntary work both in our church and the local community but the important word there is "choose", we don't have to do any of it! The things we are involved in are flexible enough to give us plenty time for activities with friends and family too as well as time just to spend together. We're pretty fit and well still and I would hate to find myself in a few years time regretting that we didn't enjoy time together while we had the chance to do so.
We moved to a different part of the country when my husband retired and I think that made it easier to establish new patterns without feeling guilty about being able to please ourselves more. We've spent many happy hours exploring our new environment, then enjoyed taking friends to our favourite places when they come to visit us.

Sorry - "your" not "you're"!

You too Tanith! I think your life and situation - past, present, health wise - do sound very close to the way mine have panned out and I do hope you're health problems improved after retirement. Mine is a bit easier for it

Its nice to know we've helped to reassure you Rose, enjoy your day.

So many lovely comments whilst I've been away - had I sounded you all out a couple of years ago I think I'd have been convinced to retire right there and then! There are obviously lots of us in very similar positions and your contentment just shines through I think one thing you've all helped me with is acceptance but I am realising that, yes, the greatest gift is finally having the choice to do exactly what I want when I want! I needed to step back and you've helped me do that. Thanks to every one of you! I am settling down with a coffee and am going to read through your posts again

Rose

I think Luckygirl summed it up when she said

When you have retired you reset your priorities. The mindset that goes with working life is totally different from that of retirement and is inappropriate to the situation.

It's hard to understand this until it happens to you.

Loopylou count down the days till freedom! Come on in retirements lovely!

loopylou you will love it. It costs a lot of money to go to work, fare/petrol costs, smart clothes and shoes depending on your job, shop bought sandwiches if you could not be bothered or did not have the correct ingredients or whatever. I also used to buy at least one sometimes two newspapers each day. It all mounts up.

I'm having slightly cold feet too, I retire in 4 weeks!
Can't wait and reading these posts confirms that it's fine to do as little as you like, which is totally alien to me ?

It is your retirement not anyone else's and for the first time in your life you can choose what to do. We retired 7 years ago and moved so started our retirement with a new life of our own choosing. Alarm clock? Not unless we really have to get up. First thing in the morning DH makes coffee and we sit and chat while we drink two leisurely cups then, unless we have something else to do, we don't see much of each other until dinner.

We do things on impulse because it seems like a good idea at the time. We do things together or apart, depending how we feel. Sometimes he irritates me and sometimes I irritate him. Currently we are working together on a really big decorating job on the house and it is going well.

It is wonderful to have no schedule to stick to.

We have been told we may get bored or lonely but there are many things we can do should that ever happen.

My oldest friend has to have her diary full and works on committees etc. She is happy doing that and I am happy with my way. Each to her own.

Just sit back and enjoy and, if you feel like doing it differently at some point, go ahead. Make the most of the fact that you have a choice.

Also, you will find you manage on less money, going to work costs more than you thought.

I am not retiral age but when my husband decided to retire after 33 years, we seriously looked at our finances and husband asked me if I wanted to stop work too. I must admit I don't miss my work at all, though at times can miss the people I worked with (though I do keep in touch and meet up with former friends and colleagues from work).

I wanted to travel more and thought we would,but husband does voluntary work and we both care for our grandchild when daughter and her partner work. I honestly don't know where the time goes, but I love my wee grandchild, she keeps me sane. I firmly believe though that how folk spend their time during retirement is up to the individual. You work long and hard enough. So I have got to the stage I could not care less what folk think. Many people go back to work part-time and that is perhaps because they have to financially, or they just miss being around folk.

I, like a previous poster worked for years dealing with the general public, but my work also involved extremely early rises as did my husbands (he worked shifts inc, back and nights) so neither of us really misses getting up at 5.30am especially during the Winter months. Also my health is not great, just niggely things really but I do not think I could go back to the job I had before, quite frankly I have always had work in some form or other since 14 years of age.

If you like a quieter life, there is nothing wrong with that at all, why is it people now always think you have to be 'doing something'? What you do with your own retirement time is your business and what suits them may not suit you.

Take no notice of anyone who makes suggestions as to what you should be doing in retirement. It's yours and your husband's life and I think it's perfectly lovely that you are enjoying each other's company and having the time to relax, go for walks, etc., together.

There's absolutely no reason why you should feel guilty about enjoying your new found leisure after many years of working hard and rushing about.

wildrose relax and enjoy what makes you happy. No guilt needed. I enjoy a lazy breakfast with my DH, reading the paper, doing a puzzle and sipping my coffee. For years I was up and out before he got up in the morning. Our breakfasts together are one of the nicest parts of our day. Sometimes we spend all day reading if that's what we choose to do. It's our life and we love just spending time together

Our dogs wake us up at 7.30am and I pretend I'm in a deep sleep so that DH will let them out and bring me back a cup of tea. We've always been early risers but from then on everything is laid back and uplanned.

We can't wait for the weather to improve so we can get stuck into the garden again. DH loves fishing and I enjoy upcycling old junk second hand furniture. We are NEVER bored.

Don't feel guilty about being contented. It's what retirement is for. We have friends who throw themselves into all sorts of activities/hobbies/travel. Fine if that's what grabs you but it wouldn't do for us.

Enjoy your life.

Don't feel a compulsion to rush around filling your time for fear of emptiness,
Only join clubs if you really fancy what's on offer.

Hi wildrose our life is similar to yours, and we enjoy it, no guilt at all, it's wonderful.I am in my mid sixties DH nearly 70 , and have been retired for a few years now.We do a certain amount of grandparent duties, but most of the time is our own. Enjoy your new life.

A lie-in till 8 am! - I sometimes don't wake up till about 9 am! And I do not feel the slightest bit guilty!

wildrose it has not happened this winter yet because it has been so mild but it is so good to look outside, see my neighbours scraping their cars and I can make myself a cup of coffee and go back to bed if I wish because I no longer have to work.

You do not have to be rushing to the supermarket after you have finished work and you can have your hair done during the week, not rushing in to the salon on a Saturday.

I do have the occasional sense of guilt having a lie in during the week but my lie in is rarely beyond 8am because my cat has better ideas. The guilt is fleeting!

I can so identify with you wildrose. I retired last August, DH had retired 4 years ago. He's had cancer and is now clear but has regular testing which causes us both anxiety and curtails our activities somewhat.
I had thought to do volunteer work, but having worked in public service all my working life, I can't face dealing with the public again!
Having said that I feel some guilt that I'm not busy caring for someone. Both DDs live nearby and I'm called on sometimes, but not a lot.
I have interests like singing in a choir, walking, reading,Pilates and helping with my local Quaker meeting house library.
I'm so enjoying not working, but would like to shake off that niggling guilt.

wildrose just read your post and smiled! I retired five years ago aged 60 as I was able to take up a voluntary redundancy package that was advantageous especially as we were planning to move nearer to DDs anyway. For the first year I was busy organising the move etc, and enjoying our new home and garden and helping DDs with childcare, I got involved in local groups to get involved in my new community. DH still was working full time. I then got asked to do some consultancy work and then it grew and grew until I was working 3 days and doing childcare for 2! I am now winding down again... last DGC will start school in September, DH is reducing his work commitments. I am looking forward to a more relaxed time when I can do just what you described! Enjoy!

And Charleygirl! Another happy bunny! That you so much for your take on this too.

Rose

Oh my goodness - NanaandGrampy and Luckygirl, this is fantastic to hear!!!! How I wish I'd posted weeks ago. I've been so unsettled since the turn of the year with everything whizzing round my head but thank goodness I didn't jump into anything for the wrong reasons. Just reading your posts make me feel relaxed about it all We are lucky to have the choice and, yes I'm sure we've all worked hard to get where we are. Our expected grandchild is already bringing much excitement and anticipation of lovely times! I wish you all the very best in your lovely laid back lives. I can't tell you how you've made me feel. Others may come along with opposite views and I'd be happy to read those too but I really DO know where I'm at now

Rose

I agree with what Jane10 and tanith have said. I retired at 60 (12 years ago) and was offered a job 3 days a week which was fine for 3 years but was also very stressful and similar to my previous job. Also the Inland Revenue were a pain so I gave that up and took on a much more relaxed well paid job working for 3 of my ex bosses. The work was casual which suited me fine. After I broke my ankle in 2009 I could not carry on so I am like you, I do what I fancy when I fancy and my life is stress free. I also do not give a stuff what other people think about my life, it suits me. Enjoy!

Jane, thank you so much - your reply made me smile :-) I shall stop listening for those sirens! Yes I think I know for sure that this is right for me. I'm never stuck for something to do and still keep my finger on the pulse of everything so I suppose I don't fit the (often unfair IMO) stereotypical vision of a retired late 50s lady.

Tanith, thank you too - I SO get what you're saying. We found ourselves in a similar position and your post gave me exactly the perspective I was looking for! To hear that you seem so content after all that time is fantastic and it's how I'd like to be posting in 10 years time
Thank you both for such speedy feedback!

Rose

Go with the flow indeed! When you have retired you reset your priorities. The mindset that goes with working life is totally different from that of retirement and is inappropriate to the situation.

Do not waste a moment of your precious retirement worrying about what others think about your choices. Those days are over - you now have to answer to no-one else but yourselves.

We wake up when we feel like it, enjoy a breakfast in bed whilst gazing at our lovely view and then we spend our days doing the things we enjoy - in my case being a school governor, running a choir, singing, spending time with my lovely GC, writing poetry, reading, going for walks - it's great, and I feel not one whit worried about what anyone else might think about my choices. The world is your oyster, but you can make that world as large or as small as YOU wish. Enjoy!