Ageist 'compliments'

Any ageist remarks I respond with I would never want to go back to any younger age. Each decade gets better and better, except for aches and pains, but this is compensated for by all the knowledge and experience that you gain from growing older.

Recently I was stuck in and ePassport queue late at night at Gatwick. It was heaving and full of young people coming off package holiday flights and though not drunk had definitely had a few. When I remonstrated with one little charmer for queue jumping he said well at least we've got longer to live. to which I replied well maybe you will learn something along the way. That shut him up.

I thought the article was amusing, and not meant to be taken as serious 'political correctness'. I wouldn't be too bothered by any of the remarks (life's too short) but, for some reason, I do hate to be called 'lovie' or 'dear' by young women who may be doing my nails or serving me in a cafe. That is condescending to anyone actually, now I think of it, no matter what age you may be.

I don't think there should be birthday cards with landmark ages on them after 30! I am sixty this year and I certainly don't want to be reminded of it.

Oh God! You couldn't really use a put-down on your dentist could you. Too risky.

Our new middle aged dentist refers to me as this young lady. It makes my flesh creep for some reason. The previous one was a woman who looked too young to retire.

I don't think it's being churlish or unduly grumpy to dislike some of the examples described.

As a 65 year old woman, I would feel rather humiliated if a waiter/waitress said to me, "What can I get for you today, young lady?" I also think the "she's 75 years young" thing is patronising and silly.

In fact I think most of the examples given are irritating and encourage older people to see themselves as in physical and intellectual decline and to reinforce the idea that such a decline is inevitable.

I don't mind being called pet, love, darling, sweetheart, etc., or being addressed by my first name - but I don't see why such a big thing should be made of a person's age.

I always thought it sounded naff.

One of my Grandma's used to say proudly 'I am eighty two years young!'

Is that a pic of Wayne Sleep?

It is the 'ah, bless' that really gets me.

And I am in my 60s and I am not elderly.

What gets my goat is being called "Dear"! I used to get called "Dear "by my parents and parents-in-law and when I was a young woman, I never thought anything of it.

Now, at 66, I occasionally get called 'Dear' and as I am still working full-time & hold a position of responsibility, I feel being called 'Dear' is patronizing and inappropriate!

Grrr!

mine not mind

No. Not mind. Just a random one off the net.

looks rather like Jimmy Saville!

Is that your old feller jingl

Of course there are those who are just waiting to be offended,sad little things,For me,it's not so much what's said,as how it's said.if I think they are saying it good naturedly I don't take any notice of it.Sarcasim,no no, I don't tolerate that.

To me it sounds like someone who is remarkably active for their age.

No thanks.

A sprightly old feller.

Anyone over fifty is elderly compared to anyone under fifty. Why do so many people think 'elderly' is insulting or patronising (is there a difference between those two?). I definitely feel elderly compared to how I used to feel twenty, thirty, forty years ago.

I don't think it's patronising, varian, to me, or a younger person, or anyone.
It's no different from someone observing that a person is energetic, or lethargic, or calm. They are only adjectives.
If someone feels patronised because someone has described them as sprightly, it's not because of the word itself but the way they have chosen to interpret it.

Why is it patronising? If a person is able to maintain flexibility in movement and stamina/energy at a stage of life when that is not the norm why is a comment 'patronising'?

If someone comments on how well your DGC speaks because they have a vocab that is more mature than usual for a 3 year old do you think they are being patronised or complimented?

It is patronising to assume older people are slow/ lacking in ability to understand/ hear etc. but if actually you do need someone to speak clearly and loudly because you are deaf/ hard of hearing it is not!

My husband and I did chortle a while back when he was addressed as "babe" by a waitress in a coffee shop, the waitress being a similar age to his eldest granddaughter. My husband is very easy going and didn't care, but somehow a young girl addressing an older male customer in such a familiar way is all wrong

I must admit I've never heard 'sprightly' applied to anyone young. It seems to be almost always 'she/he's a fit and sprightly 80 year old' or similar...

You wouldn't say your grandchildren were 'sprightly', would you?

Your dictionary definition may be true, janeainsworth, but when did you ever hear a young person or even Paul McCartney or Mick Jagger described as "sprightly"? - it's patronising.

Fortunately I don't suffer from hypertension. You can notice patronising comments and even comment on them without getting annoyed and raising your blood pressure - life's too short.

Like thatbags it really depends on context and intention. I think there are people who think anyone over 50 are elderly!!

I have taken phrases like ' 75 years young' to mean wow..you may be 75 and you have kept a lively mind and are open to modern thinking and ideas and not always moaning because I have said 75 yrs young '