This may seem to many like a repeat of the 'internet manners' discussion that was aired recently, but I wanted to revisit the heart of this matter because of recent developments.
I recently raised a question about texting birth announcements on the AIBU forum recently and unwittingly provoked all sorts of reactions, incurring rudeness and insensitivity along the way. I am not posting here to carp about that, but to highlight it as illustrative of a wider problem.
I am relatively new to GN, but as a result of that thread I received several emails from people who are evidently upset about the way some GNetters post. I suspect there are even more who felt the same. Some are newly arrived, but say they have been put off posting full-stop. Some say they are leaving GN because they are genuinely dismayed at the levels of unkindness expressed and what seem to be pointedly negative / aggressive /insensitive comments. Sometimes when people have raised concern on the forums they feel they have been then publicly shot down in flames and it is usually suggested that they are too sensitive. Some people feel that others assume they are right no matter what and that they have an apparent right because they are longer term members.
I am not writing here to 'preach', or 'carp', or 'point the finger' - rather to think of solutions. none of us are saints and we are going to make errors and misread posts at times. Sometimes something is said 'tongue in cheek', but is taken as offensive. These sort of misunderstandings can be checked out and in my experience a PM often does the trick. However, like many who have emailed me, I honestly think some posts are an awful advert for this site and I really understand why others are put off.
Sometimes the problem may be that when a thread becomes very long it is tempting to skip and just add our own view. Sometimes what we discuss is indeed sensitive and emotive and we can find ourselves reacting strongly. I think it is a good idea to at least skim read other posts and to take time to consider views that may differ from our own and also to keep in mind that this is indeed a public forum.
Perhaps the litmus tests are
* would you actually say the same to someone's face?
* would you feel embarrassed if others actually knew who you were?
*would you mind your views being requoted in public?
Well, I have put my head above the parapet. I have done so because I genuinely like GN, but like others who have emailed me, I have been really dismayed at the way some posts develop and feel that at times we don't actually do ourselves any credit. I also think it is truly sad that a significant amount of people are evidently put off taking a full part in discussions.
And please don't address me as dear - that is patronising.
) not that I drink it except on rare occasions.
