Thoughtful Posting

I also got called "my dear" on another thread. I felt just the pat on the head was missing and how very patronising it was.

There you are loopylou. You obviously hate my way of posting.

That was the most pompous OP I have ever read on this site btw.

I rest my case.
QED.
?

This should have been put under Site Stuff.

Teacher might have read it then.

It's so easy to add "my dear" and then stand back and await incoming.

Exactly loopylou.

Perhaps it's about time I rested mine too. This is the first time |I ever read the first post of my day that has made me want to de-register.

And that's 'thoughtful posting', is it?

(that was to pollyparrot, btw)

Do we really have to sit and contemplate our navels for ten minutes before we say anything? We would lose a lot in spontaneity. And it could become very wise, old....and boring.

Banter is cool Don't go jinglbellsfrocks your banter is the best I've seen on here.

Some of you established posters take yourselves very seriously. Just saying...

Is it half term already?

Imperfect27 - Another popint to add to your litmus test list - if you disagree, attack the argument, not the person. The trouble is, personal slurs are sometimes hard to identify.
Resorting to personal attacks often means the attacker is losing the argument.

I kind of thought the point of Gransnet was so we could let off steam or say things anonymously because we can't say them to perhaps our family or friends? Having said this I am probably guilty of being a bit thoughtless myself (though I try not to be nasty). If it is a controversial subject say like benefits, migrants, religion etc. People will always get heated about those sorts of things.

I have to say what did shock me was some folk who are very opinionated and very 'right' but then you always get that with people. I guess you will never get a large group of people to always agree.

I am certainly guilty of long posts, but it does not bother me if people skip/ don't read them. I write as I think, which is perhaps why my posts are so long.Given the level of upset on this forum, I will perhaps post a bit less and actually take a bit more care with what I write.

I find this place a valuable'sounding board' and I think there are many good people on here that give good advice.

This is a nasty thread already. You can easily see how it creeps in when someone is deliberately being rude and patronising, just to get a reaction and it starts to smack of playground 'banter'

Sorry imperfect I know where you were coming from, even if I don't necessarily agree entirely. I think we all come to know those who are best avoided at all times - except when something is so outrageous it demands a response. Most of us are capable of being quite forthright when prodded. But some people see offence in every little thing.

I shan't go on as it has all been aired before but I understand that newish posters still need to thrash this out to their own satisfaction.

I think you must be ultra sensitive if Gransnet upsets, it is one of the most polite forums I have ever been on.
In answer to OP, I never say on here anything I wouldn't say to someone's face. People do know who I am so I do not hide behind my nickname.
Sometimes not hearing what you want to hear can cause upset but it does not mean people are against you

Who promotes a relatively new poster to the role of head prefect?

Just wondering

Isn't it because we are not face to face that we can say things here?- problems with adult children,mothers who don't like us,husbands being difficult,how to wash XYZ and what do you call abc.

There's nothing wrong with banter Anya. It's very understanding of you to patronise the newbies, by the way.

Hey, I've got a plan. Let's see how long you can go without mentioning that you're not a newbie!

jingl, please don't de-register again! I think of you as the grit in the oyster of Gransnet!

Ok! Sense of humour in recovery.

What's the betting this thread's been deleted by lunchtime?!

I think we'll have to try harder if we want to get it deleted, jings

Well this has filled a dull morning.

Maggiemaybe I am sorry if you thought I was being rude to you over the use of the word 'nice'. No offence intended.

I think NannaandGrampy makes a valuable point that we don't always know if someone is looking for support or just airing a view. But if in doubt, I just think it is wise to tread carefully.

harrigran, the central point I was trying to communicate is that people have different sensibilities. That doesn't make anyone better or worse - just different. But if we recognise that, I cannot understand why people want to 'sport' with upsetting others.

Jinglebellsfrocks - ha ha, certainly made you jingle this morning. I cannot see that my OP was patronising though- it just told the truth which has been thoroughly confirmed as this post has progressed.

Here's my twopenneth. I have read from the beginning and I thought Anya's first post was simply suggesting we all wait for the inevitable flack to ensue. I thought she was being amusing so it shows how different people take the same thing.

I think PMs can be a good idea. I have passed on useful info that way which I didn't think everyone wanted to hear. I have also supported posters who I felt were being attacked but didn't want to enter the debate.

It is easy to offend someone without meaning to and I have done so but as soon as it is clear that my post has been read in a way I didn't intend I have apologised. IMO apologies are few and far between and would resolve misunderstandings easily.

I have been the victim of people deliberately misunderstanding me and misquoting me and I have asked for an explanation or apology with no response despite said poster having continued on the thread. That is plain rude. I no longer even read the post of one Gn because I don't like the bossy attitude and rudeness and because of the way she has behaved towards me. Just because one has been in a position to tell people what to say do and think does not give them the right to continue to do so on here when they are no longer paid for it!

I consider myself a newbie in terms of posting, but have been reading posts for a few months. I have enjoyed immensely most of the threads, especially the banter between oldies who have an on-line relationship. With some of my friends I may use stronger banter than others, depending on their personality. It's irony. The problem is with online communication, irony, without non-verbals, can be mistaken for insult. I thought the reference to "my dear" made between Anya, Pollyparrot and Jings was intentionally humorous. Obviously others didn't. So please continue. Actually I have a sense of putting my head above the parapet so I may change my mind if someone replies in a way that I don't like!