Thoughtful Posting

Thanks jingl, I really don't like being on bad terms with anyone. May I send you a piece of imaginary cake as a peace offering?

Or, as a pedantic friend of mine would say: used anyone else to do that?

Oh, please; can't we all be friends even though we " have a go" at each other and on occasions get a bit hysterical ( I'm gullty of that). This facility of Gransnet is precious and we shouldn't let our differences ruin it. It's inevitable that we will clash but there's still a unity there. ( we are all old bags after all)

Or maybe I do that thing that I did as a kid when I didn't know a word: just skim over it and get on with the story.

Did anyone else used to do that?

I clearly read the wrong threads. I don't recall ever reading the phrase Grow a Pair on Gransnet. Once a thread gets really long it's very rare I read every post unless it's a thread I've started. But most of the threads I start are very short. Quite a few are simply links to articles that I think some people might like to read so I might not even go back to the thread at all because I don't mind if anyone does or doesn't.

Nonnie I wasn't meaning I knew the posters you mentioned, just talking in more general terms about my time on here to date.

jing we cross posted earlier, but I was surprised you didn't respond before to Badenkate's post, but I did wonder of she was being tongue in cheek. She's apologised now for any misunderstanding. TBH I wasn't sure if posters knew what 'flounce' actually means when it comes to forums and that it's an 'official jargon' word, so that's that.

Marmark1 I won't be bullied either, but I can be put off enough to leave a thread for a while or for good.

When a thread gets derailed for a while by a spat, I just leave them to get on with it and read some others until it settles down.

It's ok Badenkate. Probably an over-reaction on my part.

I don't like that phrase tbh, and I shouldn't really use it. These modern phrases seem to spring too easily to mind.

I am a Wimp but over the years I have learned how to deal with the aggressive "it's my way or the highway" types in my own sweet way, and I would have thought it is much easier online than in R.L. You can just log off and do something else. Take the dog/gc out and forget about it.

Or phone/message a friend that knows you well and have a moan to them.

I hate that term, bloomin' unnecessary and inappropriate. But that's just my opinion.

Someone told me to grow a pair, so I don't think they quite understand the connotation.

There you go, you see. I'm extremely sorry if I've upset you in any way jingl. On certain fb sites, 'flouncing' is a jokey reference to people getting upset and disappearing only to reappear again later, and it is important to have a 'Gone with the Wind' type dress to do it in. It clearly went down like a lead balloon in this case.

I must say, as I did in the offending post, that there was no intention to be nasty. I have seen this comment 'grow a pair' quite a few times in various posts, and I do object to the suggestion that some of us are not brave enough to accept strong, and sometimes unpleasant comments.

I can only apologise for any distress that you or other posters have suffered in any way.

I thought badenkate's post was nasty too and she should apologise to jings.

jingl posts provocative comments - we all know that. She knows it. It is not a chance act.

I have no problem with that as long as it does not sabotage the thread to the point where it has to peter out; or that it is likely to give offence or cause hurt. I think that some of the posts skirt perilously close to being hurtful and I do not find that acceptable.

Others may find it acceptable - that is fine.

Personally I would prefer to err on the side of trying not to cause hurt - but each to his/her own.

It is possible to challenge what someone has said in a reasoned way such that no-one might find it "nasty."

When I joined Gransnet in 2012 there was a right old ding-dong almost every day. Some threads had so many deleted posts they looked like bomb sites and often as not the whole thread would then be deleted.

It's a much friendlier forum now but that shouldn't mean people are reluctant to challenge something a poster has written for fear of being labled 'nasty.'

I thought badenkate's post was extremely nasty and I'm not surprised jingl is angry.

Can I also point out that sometimes it becomes clear to seasoned posters that an OP might be a wind up. Even if it isn't, surely it's bad manners not to return to a thread when some gransnetters have taken the time and trouble to offer sympathy and advice?

Wilma unless you are a name changer you haven't been on here long enough to know who they were! It was really very unpleasant at times a few years ago.

No Jingle you are not one of them, as I said they have gone. I can cope with you being outspoken/tactless but I don't think you go out of your way to be unpleasant and you clearly don't keep notes on all of us as one used to!

I nearly left this forum after I joined. One of the first threads I read was asking if you watched TV in the daytime!!!
I thought I had shifted into a parallel universe when people were commenting that they they thought it was almost decadent.

So long as they can take it as well as dish it out,most bullies can't.I for one won't be bullied.

I don't think there's a 'nasty brigade', more like a few posters who sometimes can be a bit dismissive or thoughtless.

I have just read some of this thread that I didn't read before. And I am now seriously fucking angry.

"jingl it's interesting to note that you have previously flounced off (do you have a special flouncing dress?) So clearly stuff can upset you too. I was going to ask if you had a key set up on your computer which automatically writes ' grow a pair' when you press it, as it seems to be a favourite put down." (quoting badenkate)

You obviously know nothing about me, or my history on this site. I have never "flounced" (and if that isn't a Mumsnet phrase, God knows what is ) I have on several occasions quietly left these forums because things were making me miserable. I have never name-changed in any way that would be unrecognisable as me, when I returned.

If your kind of sarcasm and outright bitchiness is the way this site is heading, then I don't want to know.

I honestly haven't a clue who these "nasty brigade" people are. It can't be me in this instance because I'm still here.

And so the paranoia continues......

Nonnie it bugs me too when posters don't apologise.

Well I did go to Boots too, so I had a lot to think about! Actually, I thought you'd started a new thread when I was out.

Synonomous "It is an art to convey thoughts well by using the written word but then it is equally so to read it well and 'see' what isn't there but is hiding behind that which is. " I have been the 'victim' of people doing this! People who interpret what I have said and decide what I really mean. I have even been told which political party I belong to when I don't belong to any. I am more "a plague on all your houses"!

I lose all respect for those who don't apologise when I challenge such behaviour and in one case I no longer read their posts.

I don't see anything wrong in a newbie wanting to make things better on the site and disagree that they shouldn't do so.

I have to say that although this subject has come up many times before I think it is going along far better than previously. Must be the way the OP wrote it or because the nasty brigade are no longer on Gn.

So easily forgotten! Sigh!

Reading that post by thatbags, I realised I did see your thread jing.