Do you always say exactly what you think?

kittylester I think it's fine to say what you think (politely) if you feel it is important to put matters straight or if it is a matter of principle.

In the case you mention, I think this woman was rude. If someone had spoken to me in such a way, I know I would be absolutely lost for words but I think a comment like that deserves a very sharp retort.

Or, as you say she is a nice person, was it just meant to be a joke?

So, to the nurse, "Do you always frown at people's genitals?"

I would if I thought quickly enough have said "doesn't everyone have a cleaner?"

She was very rude and could have asked in a more polite way. I hope you will be ready for her if there is a next time with "are you always so rude." Always ask a question then the other person has to find an answer.

I wish I'd said what I thought yesterday. I went for a smear and the nurse was really bolshy. She immediately took my BP as soon as I got throught the door, no pleasantries, no smile, just harshness. BP up. Smear performed, BP took again, still up. Told to go back in two weeks. Not bloody likely, not to her anyway.

I also had a blood test, so if I do have any problems it will be highlighted and the raised BP could be a symptom of that. Some nurse she is.

I am currently working with my GP to change/find the balance of my medication to get BP under control as well as starting losing weight regime. She asked none of this.

I did phone the surgery later as it still upset me with her offhand attitude. I wanted to let them know how she had performed. I give credit when it is due so only fair to criticise when that is due too, imo.

What got me was that as she had just finished the smear, she looked at a chart on the wall of cervix(s) and made a strange face. I asked if all was ok and she just said "yes" but didn't really put my mind at rest. These tests are bad enough without someone looking mortified when seeing your insides!

I sat/lay there like a scaredy cat, I'm not usually like that these days but she was really imposing. I wish I had said something to her now and then had my smear done by a lady doctor. It's the second one with the nurses anyway, the first one didn't collect enough cells to be tested. So nervous enough about it. Great bedside manner. Usually great nurses, just the odd one who isn't, unfortunately.

Well, if it is fact, why not accept it? If she is 'brutally' honest as well, she probably says similar things to him. If they still get on, why worry?

I have some friends, a couple, who if asked anything are brutally truthful. For example we were talking about weight problems and the husband friend said about his wife to her face 'Jane is fat because she can't say no to food' !
I was horrified but she just accepted it as fact.

I think I would have said No Why should I?

I feel horrified at the thought of being confrontational with anyone.
I'd far rather walk away or stop seeing someone that was intentionally rude to me. I just cannot 'do' arguments. never have, never will.

How rude
'Of course I can. Whatever makes you think that people have cleaners because they're unable to do it themselves?' might have got the message across

Though actually, that kind of rudeness is probably best ignored.

"I beg your pardon?"

"was I speaking to you" may have fallen from my lips..

It was rude of her kitty and not just plain speaking.
We can't say just anything that pops into our heads.

"Oh yes, didn't you know. Well my life is far to interesting and fulfilling to be bothered with cleaning"

Cheeky cow was my immediate thought Lucky but then I wasn't able to think of a better riposte. I suppose I could have just said 'cheeky cow', hopefully with a smile, but I didn't because I see her quite often. That obviously didn't stop her though.

Cheeky cow! - what business is it of hers?

Having worked in a customer facing role in the past I've been astounded by the way I've been spoken to when there was absolutely no call for it. Not that there was ever a need for rudeness but I think for some people it's their default position.

I probably err the other way, I've often bitten back a retort as I don't want to be hurtful.

That woman was very rude in my opinion.

No, because it depends on the circumstances. There are times when I will speak quite pointedly, other times I will say it wrapped in lots of sweet things and others stay silent.

But in kittylester's case I think the woman was quite simply extremely rude. It was none of her business, nor appropriate, for her to maker any comment at all on the arrangements Kitty had made to keep her house clean.

I once arranged to meet a social worker at my grandmas house. She wanted to see how she was doing living alone and I thought I had better be there. The poor lady had hardly got out of the sitting room door (I was showing her out) when my grandma announced "my, my she was as wide as she was tall, tee hee hee hee"

I was horrified as the lady must have heard her loud and clear.

I'd have replied ,' I could , but it's nice not to have to' ! I definitely don't always say what I think even if invited I would probably sanitise my response.

I'm not above speaking my mind but the older I got and the more senior in my working environment the more I learnt to have my say is as positive a way as possible.

The one I like is " what a lovely lot of weight you have lost....however you are still a big woman aren't you?"

Sometimes I wish I could say what I think instead of beating around the bush as I tend to do. I hate saying "no" to anyone and hate face to face confrontation.

I think people do tend to say what they think more as they get older chelseababy my grandma (who died recently) could be quite cutting in her remarks. I saw her virtually everyday and one day out of the blue she said "Gilly, I have been meaning to tell you that you are getting fat"

I very rarely give voice to my thoughts in RL, except to OH.

There are too many 'older' folk, like your mother chelseababy - I wonder if it's deliberate or a sign of an ageing brain?

I wasn't offended as this person is always very outspoken, although she has a heart of gold. I have never been on the end of one of her comments and was cross with myself for floundering instead of telling her to mind her own flipping business.