Don't you just love'em?

He's just admitted defeat (having somehow burst the bl...y 'balloon')
I think I'm going to cry..........after I've found an old pillow to stuff up him? the damn chimney until he fafs around doing something else to sort it out ?

Luckily someone else has the benefit of my ex's culinary expertise. On one occasion, he decided to add cloves (whole, not powdered) to my soup; another time, he thought it would be a good idea to put grapefruit in my fruit salad. DS1, to prove that his generation is also prone to cock-ups, managed to wash my nicely knitted baby clothes on a hot wash with the real nappies which they used. That was when I gave up baby knitting!

loopyloo I would rather be "stockless" than have all that mess.

For a minute there I thought you were referring to Mr P as 'the wee thing' phoenix, until I remembered...

Oh no, loopylou I feel for you.
Can you not find somewhere to go until much later and leave him too it...........
on second thoughts

While I was out for an appointment at the osteopath, my beloved Mr P decided to deep clean the bathroom, i.e. the tiles that go to ceiling level above the shower, which I struggle to reach.

Result? Clean bathroom, but 1 pair of trousers and 1 fleece totally ruined by splashes from the cleaning spray that he used which contained bleach.

Luckily I have the £20 worth of vouchers from the wee thing!

Oh, and he says the 'pillow' is too big......but HE measured it!?

Might be a looonnngggg evening ?

???
Mine's attempting to fit a 'chimney balloon', he started at 3.15 this afternoon; so far we have:
Wet soot all across the carpet ('it'll Hoover up')
A howling draft because he's having '5 minutes break' (which started at 5pm)
Scraped paintwork in the fireplace (because he's 'trimmed' the end of the flue then couldn't wrestle it out of the chimney)
A pile of damp, sooty towels (he decided to try and wash up the soot ?)

I'm trying so, so hard not to say anything......? (please give me patience someone, mine's run out!)

My DH is never wrong!!!! Perfect in every way.
(Or so he says.)

I no longer look for things as they are never in the same place twice, I just ask DH where they are. I have lost 3 Christmas presents and it is beginning to look like he might have put them in the recycling. Goodbye new Kindle.

My DH went off to put a load of washing into the tumble dryer and I warned him not to include my new silk underwear. Sorting the washing later, I found he'd left out the knickers but not the bra (ruined, of course). Apparently I hadn't made myself clear and he had no way of knowing that a bra is underwear too.

None of the above would happen here, hubby just doesn`t "do" anything remotely like housework!

You'll have to change your name to Rose'sarepink

This reminds me of my first Christmas present from my DH ... I had asked for a very feminine and pretty towelling dressing gown - white or pink, thank you. I got a navy-blue , fleecy, 3 sizes too big MANs dressing gown. And as I opened it he added 'I thought you would like it chunky.'
Aaah well it is warm ...

Last week DH put white towels in with a new dark red sheet, we now have some pale pink towels that I didn't expect.

My DH did that with some stock when we were newly married. He got such a rollicking he's never done it since!

He's getting very confused forgetful these days. Last week I asked him to put the washing in while I nipped to the shops. I wondered why it was taking so long, then just as I was emptying it I realised he'd put everything (including my favourite jeans) through on a 60o wash.

Perhaps fate had decreed that the soup was never meant to be eaten?
There is a reason for all things ( with the exception of Trumps toupee.)

now if that had been my DH he would ( and has done before ) strained the stock into a colander over the sink , retaining the bits and throwing the actual stock straight down the drain !! [grin}

DH wouldn't dare touch the container of stock, but would do the 'phone thing'.
Christmas Eve morning I planned to boil the gammon. I came down from upstairs to find he'd "helpfully" put all the bits from the hob in the dishwasher, so had to postpone that job.

'got' not 'git'! There again .....

I've git one like that, too! Bless him