How old was your DD when she gave birth and who was with her?

My daughter was in her thirties when she had her 2 daughters ,I saw them both quite soon after the births but her husband was with her all the time .The second time I was looking after the eldest one which I really enjoyed.

In many cultures still, and in UK for many many years, childbirth was a female domain. I honestly do not think not being, or being, at a birth makes a man a better/worse father! That is up to so many other things!

When my DiL had her first my son and her mother were present. My DiL has always said that if they had another baby she would ask me to be present. She has just told me that she's six weeks pregnant, but not yet mentioned the delivery 'invites'. If she really wants me there I guess I will be, we do have a close relationship, but her mother might be upset if she isn't included. So will have to wait and see. I might be more use looking after my grandson.

My daughter was 18 and wanted me there..so I was baby's father wasn't sure if he wanted to be there.Have also been at the birth of my ex SIL 5th child with another partner..he was also there previous 4 all boys 5th also boy and mum so upset rejected him for first hour so I was given baby with dad's permission to hold first......a privilege to be there my 1st child normal delivery with dad there 2nd and 3rd both elective c section under GA so no one was there

I have sons but they were the only ones present with their wives when the babies were born. Grans were invited once everyone was tidied up and ready.

When our first daughter was born my husband didn't even know, no one knew , because my husband was on night duty our GP insisted I slept in the maternity hospital and my husband pick me up when he came off duty, I was so cross. She was born a month early and arrived in forty minutes so I was so thankful I was in the hospital, we had no telephone , no neighbours. HQ announced her birth over the police car radio so the entire force night staff knew the same time as my husband

I think it's a lovely idea if that's what the Mum and her DH want. Birthing partners are supposed to be supportive and it's becoming more common (fashionable?) for mums choose a female family member these days.

We lived 250 miles away when DD gave birth to her first child in London and she didn't ask me to be there nor did I want to be. With her second child, she had a very quick birth with DGS being born on the bathroom floor and delivered by his Daddy who hadn't delivered a baby since his student doctor days. He rang for us and we got there when baby was 30 mins old (lived much nearer by then) and he was put into my arms. A special moment.

When I had my two, DH dropped me off at the hospital then shot off home as quickly as he could - he is not a fan of hospitals or body fluids etc.! It was not usual to have husbands present at the time - early 1970s though some did I know. I actually preferred to cope on my own anyway and still do - don't like being fussed if I am ill or in pain!

Our daughter was 37 when she had our first and only grandchild, with only her partner present. I would never have expected to be present at this special time in their lives. We did get a call to say it was all kicking off, and we went to the hospital to sit chewing our nails with all the other expectant grandparents! I therefore did get to hold GS when he was about an hour old - a moment i will never forget. I had my first child in a military hospital and, having taken me there, DH was briskly shown the door as husbands were not encouraged to stay - the military considered them to have better things to do. So i went through a very long labour on my own. My mother was on the other side of the world.

I appreciate that everyone has differing opinions, but I have always thought of childbirth as a most private, emotional and significant moment for the father and mother to share. If possible.

Therefore I would not like to be at a grandchild's birth.

It would be interesting to hear from Grans ( or Grandads) who were present at the birth of their son's child.

x

22, I waited outside the delivery room, my daughter wanted me at the birth but I refused, I thought it a time for just her and her husband and their child

My oldest DD was 26 when her first one was born and her husband was with her .She asked her sister to be there too as her husband was unlikely to be much help . I never even considered being there although if she had wanted me to I would have been.

Her sister felt it was a real priveledge and that set the precedent. She was there for the 2nd one too . By that stage I was the one babysitting DGD1 at home.

Then when the younger one pregnant , again at 26 her older sister supported her. And again at the age of 28 when her second son was born.

So the sisters have been present at the birth of all the babies and I think thats lovely. They both acknowledge how special a moment it was and in fact both sisters were the first to hold each others babies ( whilst the husbands recovered )

My two were 31 and 36 and their DHs were present. It would never have occurred to me to be at the births-it was their time. We were at the hospital within a matter of hours though to see the new arrivals.

My 2nd daughter was three days short of 26 when her first baby was born. Her husband and I were present; an amazing experience for us all. I was 29 when she was born. Since then I have been present for the births of two more of her 4 children. My other 2 daughters just wanted their husbands with them although one baby arrived amazingly quickly (in the admissions room) and I was just outside the door listening to the 'goings-on!

DD2 asked me to be her birth partner. She was 27 but her partner, good and helpful in very many other ways is useless about anything vaguely medical! She knew he would panic/ feel anxious and that would not help her. However he had to be there for baby no.2 as I was in hospital but DD2 felt more confident then!
DD1 wanted just her partner and a midwife and gave birth at home for both her babies.
Both were the right choices and I adore all dgc regardless of being/ not being at the birth and had no expectations either way!

I was 23 when I had DD1 and my DH was there all through. I would not have thought to have anyone else there. The thought of a roomful of onlookers ! DD1 was 24 when she had her son, her husband was with her and I would not have expected to be there. DD3 who is 31 is expecting her first baby next month will have her DH there and again I would not expect to be there .
I don't have any friends or relatives that have been at the actual birth of their DGC but one or two who have sat out the time at the hospital .

So, no MammaTJ you are not odd at all.

My eldest was 20 and I was there with her partner at her request I wasn't there for the other 3. My other daughter was 19 I wasn't there just her OH. I didn't think either experience was odd it's just down to personal preference.
My own daughter just helped her daughter deliver her first child, that was their plan all along with her OH's happy agreement

My daughter was 33 when her twins were born, she had an elective Caesarian so I wouldn't have been allowed to be there even if she'd wanted me to. Her husband was with her and we have lovely photos of them all in the delivery room after their birth. When my 3 were born in the 70's and 80's their father was there but no one else was allowed to be . I would personally have loved to be with her but couldn't and she didn't consider it anyway. They wanted to be by themselves for the first day afterwards and everyone on both sides saw them and the babies the day after. I was climbing the walls with the wait!

My daughter was 33 when she had her first and just her H was there. She is 50 now and my H wasn't even at the hospital when she was born, it wasn't allowed. He didn't see her until visiting the next day when he was taken to the nursery to look at her in her cot. He was allowed a glimpse and that was it. I saw her at feeding time. It seems so archaic now. I certainly would not have wanted or allowed my mother to be there,we didn't have that sort of closeness.

DD was nearly 22 when she had her first, in a German military hospital. So I don't think I could have been there even if either of us had considered it, which we didn't. DGS was 5wks before met him.
The second she was back in the UK for and I was busy looking after her first born. Her husband was lucky enough (postings) to be there both times.
If she had asked and it was possible I would have been there.

Nineteen, her husband and me. I flew halfway across the world to be present at her request.

You're not odd at all, MammaTJ.
End of.

That's interesting, Mamma. I wouldn't have dreamt of having my mum there, (I doubt it would have been allowed, as it was strictly one person only!). It wasn't that long ago, mind you, that husbands were practically banned from delivery rooms. My daughter was 25, and I was with her throughout. She wanted me there, and I was happy to be there. She went on to have two more, with her husband and I beside her each time. But there's no right or wrong here. It's down to personal choice, and to what suits you both! Good luck - you're in for the best time of your life!